support, Uncategorized

Ashamed I Did Not Have the Words at the Ready

"I hate them because they are black," she said. My mouth dropped open, I was so shocked at the sheer boldness of her statement. I don't think I had ever heard someone be so clear cut in expressing their racism. I sputtered, trying to put my thoughts together so that I could form the sounds… Continue reading Ashamed I Did Not Have the Words at the Ready

David, depression, Husband, Medical, memoir, memories, Uncategorized

“It’s Been a Long Road” …or “Never Give Up on Your Dreams”

You guys. I did it. Not only did I pass my RN-NCLEX a couple weeks ago, but I have - as of today - officially become a Registered Nurse. I know I have written about how I wanted to be an RN for a long time on this blog before - years ago at this… Continue reading “It’s Been a Long Road” …or “Never Give Up on Your Dreams”

Adventures in Dating, David, Maja, memoir, relationship, teenage years, Uncategorized, Wyatt

90s Girl at Heart

A few days ago I was listening to a podcast, as I am wont to do almost any moment during my free time these days, and the guest struck a particular cord with me this time. She was a 90s girl at heart, she told Dax Shepard on his podcast "Armchair Expert" (August 12, 2019… Continue reading 90s Girl at Heart

Medical, Uncategorized

I know! I KNOW!

I know, I'm sorry I always say I'll be back sooner rather than later... and then all of a sudden it is three months later. Good news is I have finished my college program and will soon be able to sit for the next set of boards soon and will then be able to call… Continue reading I know! I KNOW!

Uncategorized

Happy Birthday… I mean Blogday to me!

Oh geez, you guys (can you hear the increasingly midwestern accent encroaching in my vernacular? lol) It's my Blogaversary today! This blog is 5 years old. FIVE, count 'em… FIVE YEARS OLD! Where has all the time gone? My little baby has grown so much... and just think how much bigger it could have been… Continue reading Happy Birthday… I mean Blogday to me!

Best Friends, Dane, Uncategorized

Light at the End of The Tunnel

I've been ridiculously busy. I know, I know... That's been my excuse every time I leave y'all hanging. But I'm back, for a moment, while I waste my energy on laundry and not on my studies... Last semester and it's all a bit overwhelming to be honest, but I'm staying positive - because I can… Continue reading Light at the End of The Tunnel

religion, Uncategorized

Happy Holidays

Happy Holidays y'all! Ooo a change for once - a happier noted post, lol. I finally have time for writing, but I've been spending most of the holidays sleeping, eating goodies, and listening to podcasts. ...I've even caught up on a few TV shows! Woo! ...and working a bit, but not too much 🙂 I… Continue reading Happy Holidays

anxiety, depression, Uncategorized

Weird Couch Fever Dream

I slept like shit last night you guys, and let me tell you why. Well, first of all I'm sick - so that didn't help things, but... since I'm sick and feared being contagious to hubby, I slept on the couch. I had a new bottle of Paxil in the living room so I took… Continue reading Weird Couch Fever Dream

anxiety, Best Friends, Dane, Maja, svea, Uncategorized

Being a Nothing-of-Consequence

My anxiety is rising. I was in a good mood earlier today, and I plan on feeling okay tomorrow... The thing is that as the holiday season starts, I am catching ripples of anxiety - like waves of salt hitting my face, suddenly so that I don't have time to close my mouth. I sputter… Continue reading Being a Nothing-of-Consequence

Best Friends, Dane, Uncategorized

Unfortunately Irritating

I had a post pop up yesterday in my Facebook memories from years ago... A post that one of Dane's exes had written to me, after she had moved on and married someone else that is. It was a generic catch-up conversation, in which she noted she hadn't really spoken to Dane in awhile -… Continue reading Unfortunately Irritating

anxiety, David, memories, relationships, teenage years, Uncategorized, Wyatt

Freaking Frigid – A Memory

It came back to me today, a memory I'd like to say was vague - as I hadn't thought about it for a very long time. But it's not, not vague at all. I've been having these snippets pop up in my mind here and there, seemingly randomly over the past few weeks. I'm not… Continue reading Freaking Frigid – A Memory

anxiety, Dane, David, depression, relationships, Uncategorized, Wyatt

Take My Prazosin And Hope David Stays Out Of My Dreams

Honestly, I don't know if I have anything interesting to spew at the moment. I just felt like getting back to the root of my blog/writing career for a minute - I felt like writing without a purpose to see what would emerge. I hope to clarify my inner self, to figure out why I… Continue reading Take My Prazosin And Hope David Stays Out Of My Dreams

anxiety, David, relationships, Uncategorized, Wyatt

In Defense of…? Or Rather… …Billy Gave Me Anxiety

Stranger Things Spoilers Below. Proceed with caution 😉 I finally finished Stranger Things season 3 last night and it was so depressing. I'm not talking about Hopper's possible death - because the way it was handled I am relatively certain he will suddenly show back up and have a wild story as to how he… Continue reading In Defense of…? Or Rather… …Billy Gave Me Anxiety

Uncategorized

I assure you that, yes, Emma is fine

Oh geez, it seems like, once again, I have been gone from WordPress much longer than I had realized. I guess 3 weeks really isn't all that bad in the history of my many random blogging sabbaticals. But I am here once again to assure you that, yes, Emma is fine. I know the last… Continue reading I assure you that, yes, Emma is fine

anxiety, David, depression, Uncategorized, Wyatt

Fucking Around with Meds – the PTSD edition

"But Emma," I hear you say. "You are officially a nurse now, you should know better than to fuck around with your meds." I sigh, because I know you're right. I suppose 'fuck around' is a bit strong of a description though. Fact is, my self care has been lacking lately and part of that… Continue reading Fucking Around with Meds – the PTSD edition

mother, Uncategorized

Overdramatic, Foundationless Accusations

You have no fucking clue right now. Well, if you have a mother like mine perhaps you do. I have reached the last straw with this woman. I dunno if I have the energy, honestly, to explain the whole thing right now. Suffice it to say my mum is a crazy narcissistic bitch who is… Continue reading Overdramatic, Foundationless Accusations

mother, Uncategorized

Monumental Clusterfuck

How do I even start today? I wanted to update you all on the awesome externship experience I've been having, but intertwined with that has been a trip to Cleveland to spread my grandfather's ashes. This, of course, meant I had to see my family. For the most part this wasn't an issue. Got to… Continue reading Monumental Clusterfuck

memoir, memories, teenage years, Uncategorized

To Save My Own Hide

"Okay, Mum, you can go now," I said flinging my hand out in the direction of my bedroom door. "I will," she said. "After I use the bathroom." She headed towards the bathroom situated in the far corner of my room. Shit. Federica and I had been tossing our cigarette butts in the toilet and… Continue reading To Save My Own Hide

Best Friends, Dane, David, depression, relationships, Uncategorized

Smoldering Bridge

Dane unfriended me on Facebook. I told you that. He inferred I was disposable and it seemed he'd rather keep David in the FB friendship circle. Ok, fine then. I accepted that, though it hurt initially. The thing is, even after pushing me away so hard; trying his damnedest to put distance between us and… Continue reading Smoldering Bridge