Before the fight…
Dane and I hadn’t been friends for long when Elizabeth broke up with him. She was a good Lutheran girl from our church, one of the pastor’s extended family members – beautiful, devout, pretty much everything that Dane wanted in a girl. The only thing is he didn’t express any of that adequately to her.
Dane was committed to his career and, to be honest, was a bit of a commitment-phobe with the ladies. Not that he didn’t want to commit entirely, more like he wanted to be absolutely sure that a girl was the right one before committing. Elizabeth was a serious girl, young 20s but ready to start looking into building a family of her own. She spoke to Dane about it, from what I understand, but Dane hemmed and hawed during that conversation. Yes, he wanted a wife and family, but didn’t want to talk about it yet.
Dane mulled it over for awhile. A long while – too long, really. Just as Dane decided he loved her, she broke up with him before he could say it. She was tired of waiting in a relationship that seemed to be going nowhere.
Several months later her engagement was announced at church. She had agreed to marry another military member of our church.
One morning shortly thereafter I awoke to a long voice message. I honestly didn’t know my voice mail would allow such long recordings, but there it was. Dane had apparently called me at something like 2 AM and left a message several minutes long in which he lamented losing Elizabeth and that he could have kept her if he hadn’t been so nonchalant about her needs… Lamenting that she was marrying a better version of himself – a WELS Lutheran man, with much the same build, in the Army…but with a higher rank.
I listened to this message from my drunk-off-his-ass best friend and figured I had better give him a call when I had a break at work, so I called him mid-morning while I was running an errand to the courthouse for my boss.
“Hey Dane… just got your message…”
“The voice mail… you called me at like 2 AM last night, drunk, and left me a long message…”
“I did? What did I say?”
Holy crap. When does an opportunity like this ever come up?? The mischievous bitch in me surfaced and I was a little too gleeful at the opportunity to push her back down.
“Ummm.. Well… I just have to say… I mean, Dane… You’re a handsome guy, I’m attracted to you as well… but, I mean… I like you – but you know I’m married…”
I waited a moment, but heard only dead silence.
No sound coming from my phone… did he hang up?
“Dane… are you still there?”
The silence was deafening.
“Dane. I’m kidding. You left a message telling me how upset you are over Elizabeth.”
An immediate answer back in the form of a huge released breath into my earpiece, “OHTHANKGOD,” Dane blurted out.
After a beat he added “Don’t DO that!” As I started laughing loudly, he said “I hate you.”
“Sorry, hun, I just couldn’t resist,” I gasped between laughs… “You just handed it to me!” HAHAHAHAHA