Them sexy accents

The thing about growing up around the world is – all those accents that people of your home country tout as “Sexy” just don’t impress.

When I was a senior in High School, I had an Australian gym teacher that everyone was fawning all over. The girls thought he was so attractive and that his accent was sexy… and all of the boys wanted to be him, or at least be his friend… He was just so …cool. This teacher was a young guy, fresh out of University, freshly married with a pregnant wife.

“Oh My Gosh, Rae, isn’t he so sexy?” There may or may not have been a squeal or two following such questions. Here, I’ll set the mood: “Eeeeeeeeeee!”

“Ummm…. No… Not really.” I would then get admonished with disbelieving gasps and comments regarding his accent and coolness.

“Whatever. Aussie accents don’t impress me. …No…I’ve lived in Australia… it’s not exotic to me… and… it’s just… well… I feel like there’s something… off… about him.”

Turns out I was right – and he was fired within his first year of teaching. …But that’s a story for another time. Right now, it is 11:30 PM and I am ATTEMPTING to stay on topic, and my topic is… boys and their accents. That’s it.

So what I was saying is this: I’ve lived in several countries in my life – including England, Australia; both of which I also had the accents for myself. Then I’ve even dated a couple Brits, a couple Scandinavians… just doesn’t impress anymore. Not that their accents don’t add to the attractiveness on some level… But… Now I’m rambling.

I’ll tell you what accent still gives me a little bit of fluttering in my chest: Irish boys, I tell you what.

Several years ago, before my mum got married again, I was walking down Legion st in Clarksville, TN. I was talking to my mum on the phone and she was apparently trying to be scandalous and shock me by talking about some handsome foreign guy with an accent she had met …and how seeexxxy he was. I thought to myself that I could surely shock her more than she thought she was shocking me, so I said “Nah, what you really need is a Gaelic man.”

“Why is that?” My mum asked.

“Well… You know what they say about a man that can speak Gaelic…”

“No, what?”

“That they can do interesting things with their tongues.”

“OH MY GOD, RACHEL!”

Cue the laughter at my mum’s expense… and the sound of her hanging up on me shortly thereafter.

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