I got a message from Viktor today… He read my post about him and… I just… Well… He liked it. He actually liked it and thanked me for writing it. I know I copy and paste messages sometimes into my blog post, but this time it feels a little too personal to put his exact wording out there – which feels weird to say after every other personal thing I have already posted.
I must say, I was very impressed with his writing style and couldn’t help but think he should be the one to have a blog, lol.
Anyway, to explain the gist of it all: He told me he was nervous to read what I thought about him. Apparently, he always thought he had been an asshole in our relationship. He said that he even used our relationship as a benchmark of how not to be in subsequent relationships.
I have never, ever thought of him as an asshole. Perhaps he was an asshole in his head, but he never displayed asshole tendencies to my face. It makes me a tad sad that he thought so poorly of his past self all these years. I honestly always felt bad, or like I was the jerk in the relationship, because I
thought…knew…he would be good for me. I wanted to want him more, but I just didn’t have the feelings that were required.
He said he was impressed with my ability to remember the details. What can I say? I generally have a pretty good memory… then he thanked me for being so open about it all and giving him a new perspective on himself. He said this really helped him.
And here I was nervous about how he’d take it and if he’d hate me for putting it all out there in the blogosphere.