**Not for youth audiences please**
Alternative titles: “Not my most shining moment,” Or “Hur Rae blev smittad med klamydia.”
When I was in Sweden… 17 or so, I believe I was at this time… Maybe early 18. I met a guy named Patrik. Real name, who gives a crap at this point honestly. We have no connections and I don’t recall the last name, so who would know it’s him anyway?
I met him when I was working at the Embassy. He had come for a few days as a contractor for some manual labor type job – installing security glass or something. He was a big old flirt, slightly older than me – early 20s. Tall, blond spiky hair and wore a backwards baseball cap. Had earrings. I just realized today I apparently have a type… at least one type anyway, and not what I’ve mentioned before. Apparently at least two other guys previously mentioned fit this same mold. This particular guy was also a DJ outside of his full time employment.
Anyway, he was flirtatious asked for my phone number and I gave it to him. He turned out to be a douche so I won’t spend much time talking about him specifically.
During one conversation he said he’d like to date me and then kept going back and forth changing his mind. I got annoyed and told him just to make up his mind and if he wanted to go out with me, I’d go out with him. If not, then fine – but stop wasting my time. Eventually I was annoyed enough to just tell him to forget it; I didn’t want to date him anyway.
But then he called me because he had a friend that wanted to meet me. This guy’s name was “Timmy” …it seems strange to my American ear, but the Swedes like to have names that end in -y, even for men. In the US many of those types of names are for small children. Not all, but many… Either way, this guy was also young 20s and went by Timmy. Svea and Maja tell me that it is a true statistic that in Sweden men with the names ending in -y sound are very overrepresented in prison, they are not considered “classy names.” Which makes sense to my experience with them.
Patrik also at one point tried to hook me up with a “Ronnie” some 25 year old. Had a few conversations with him, but never bothered meeting him. Seemed like a nice guy though…
I didn’t bother meeting Ronnie because of what happened with the meeting with Timmy. I almost did, but after I really sat and thought about it – I realized that I was someone they just wanted to use for sex. Likely Ronnie was in the same mind, though he hadn’t proposed anything on the phone.
The evening I went to meet Timmy, Patrik met me at the train station near Timmy’s flat at Högdalen in south Stockholm. He walked me over to Timmy’s flat and we both went in where Timmy and some other guy were. One chick alone in an apartment with three guys I did not really know. God, I thought I was smarter back then.
I’m so lucky my naivete didn’t get me in more trouble, as it could have done several times over. Yet, this particular night, in hindsight I realize that my compliance may have saved me from a worse fate. I’m sure you can guess what might have been otherwise.
So basically, Patrik and the other guy went on the balcony to smoke and have some beers. Timmy asked if I wanted to watch TV with him, so I set my purse down and sat on the couch. He then sat down next to me, put his arm around me, his other hand on my thigh, and turned on the telly. It was porn. Dude turned porn on… and then did an obviously fake “Oj då!” (Oops!) Then he said something asking me if I wanted to watch it anyway, with a wink. I must have given him a weird look or something and told him I didn’t care either way… So he cut straight to the chase and said we could go hang out in his bedroom and get to know each other. Of course I knew what he was getting to – I wasn’t THAT naive.
So we went to his room and I sat on his bed while he shut the door. We chatted for a moment while he turned music on or something, then he straight up said it. He found me attractive and would like to have sex with me. I was by no means a virgin at this time, and I was trying to keep my mind off of Dan – as I mentioned in another post… so I said sure. Whatever. I didn’t really care either way. I think my nonchalance had to do mostly with my low self esteem when it comes to men. I also had pretty much acclimated to the Swedish thinking of sex and I didn’t want to come off as a prude.
At least he was attractive, right? No? Not a good enough reason, you’re right… but… at least he was attractive. He stood in front of me. He took off his shirt and he was muscular under his clothing. ...at least he’s attractive, I thought.
Timmy said he didn’t have any condoms. I insisted we needed them so he went to the store quickly to get some, yelling out to the others he would be right back. He came back a few minutes later saying that the store was closed and that it would be okay because he’d pull out. I put up a bit of a fight because I didn’t believe he had even gone out. He then went and asked one of the other guys for one and came back with a flavored one that Patrik had.
Cutting through it – it happened. It bored me to be honest. I told him I was done before I really was just to get him off of me. Of course, he still had to finish…
I put my clothes back on and walked out to the balcony as Timmy went to the bathroom. Patrik turned as I reached the door. Then he turned back out to look across the view as he took a drag of his cigarette.
“How was he?” Patrik asked me.
“Was he any good?”
Ah, of course. Patrik knew from the start that Timmy would want a lay.
I knew what I was supposed to say. Of course I didn’t tell Patrik it was shit. I said Timmy was pretty good in bed.
Shortly after those two guys left. Timmy asked me to stay for a bit. I agreed. He actually seemed nice for that little while. He got a call and said he had to run down to meet someone around the corner to get something. I told him that was fine and that I should get going.
He told me I couldn’t go. He said he was concerned for my safety as his area of town was dangerous after dark. I told him I was really hungry, so I should just go – the train station wasn’t that far. If he wanted to walk me there he could. He told me I could get something out of his kitchen. So we went over there and all he had was tuna, almonds, and batteries. YUH-UM. lol
He shrugged his shoulders and said I could have it if I wanted and that he’d bring me something back. I gave up and agreed to stay.
He was gone for several hours. So much for the “15 minutes” he said he’d be gone for. I went ahead and laid down in his bed to try to get some sleep – I had nothing better to do anyway. Then, in the early morning hours he came back. He had literally forgotten I was there. He came home and I woke up to him talking loudly to his father who had come and was hanging out with his own lady friend in the living room. I heard his father tell him there was a girl in his bed. Timmy came straight in to check it out and made some surprised exclamation. He was obviously pleased to see me there. He shut the door and hurried to take his clothes off and then got on top of me. He absolutely reeked of beer – it was coming from his pores.
He kissed me and then immediately fell asleep. He fell asleep on top of me – and he was heavy.
Safe to say that was the worst night’s sleep I’d ever had. I was able to move just enough to be able to breathe better, but couldn’t get him all the way off of me. Whenever I got close to releasing myself, he would throw an arm over me and pull me back.
In the AM he woke up to a monster hangover. I wasn’t surprised. He asked me to wait and he would walk me to the train station. He was in there for 45 minutes. Then the doorbell rang. I answered it and a woman was there telling me she was his mother and she needed to see him about something.
I went into the bathroom to get him and he was asleep in the shower. So I gently woke him and told him of his visitor. I told him I’d wait outside for him to get dressed and finish his business with his mum.
As I walked out of Timmy’s flat, my phone started ringing. I picked it up and it was a guy asking for Rae. “This is she,” I said.
“Hi, my name is Ronnie… Patrik gave me your number.”