**Not for youth audiences again please**
Look, I know putting that^^ little notice won’t stop any young people from reading these posts if they want to. May even peak their interest… So if any youth actually read these posts regardless of my request, I hope that you are at least taking a lesson or two from them.
As I told one girl previously, I’d rather just tell you the lesson, not the whole story. …and hope you’d still recognize it as sage advice. Maybe that’s not the best way to pass on my learned wisdom, but who am I to say what’s appropriate for you to hear/read?
The lesson I want to impart from “That One Night” is this (aimed particularly to young women, but not bad for young men either):
Basically, be careful of the precarious situations that you could get yourself in with men. Critical thinking skills can overcome naïveté, if you just take the time to really think about what you’re doing and what possible outcomes could happen. Buddy system is always good too.
I also want to add a disclaimer so there are no misunderstandings. At the time I did not feel in danger of being raped or anything. I was simply naïve to the situation and did not realize until later what was likely going on. I stated that going along with it likely saved me from being raped – this does NOT mean I suggest just going along with something like that to avoid rape. If you feel in danger, fight and/or get away if you can.
Anyway, one more thing before I start: I noted that Patrik is the one guy’s real name. Ronnie is a real name too. The only one that was *thinly* veiled is “Timmy” and that is simply because that is the name I used in the very brief mention of the event in the book.
I notified the girls (Maja and Svea) that I was going to be posting yesterday’s blog post. Maja is a little hard to get a hold of in real time than Svea… so I got a response from Svea right away.
“So how shocked and appalled do you think Maja will be when my post ALL about my one night stand with Timmy posts?” I ask her.
“She’ll love it!” She assures me.
Both of these girls were my besties at the time of the incident, so they already knew most of the story. Svea said she would read it and compare to her mental notes from what she remembered me saying about it at the time.
Once I published it, she called Maja to ensure that she knew she had to get on the internet right away to read it. Then Svea messaged me back the reply that Maja had for me: “You Hussy!” …Her favourite thing to say to me when we talk about such topics.
A short while later, Maja skyped me and as soon as the video popped up I saw her best “I’m horrified!” face looking back at me.
We all were talking/messaging each other back and forth about this topic and reporting on what the other friend was saying – just like being back in high school …gossiping besties… Maja reminded me of how mean she could be to me sometimes when she pointed out that I didn’t like the flavour of the condom and it put me off of Dr Pepper for quite a while after that, yet she kept buying them for me just to see me gag.
Svea insisted I must now write a juicier post to top it – perhaps even going into the klamydia events that stemmed from this night. …We’ll see.
A little later I got into a convo with Justin as well. He had not yet read the post initially, so the topic started about something else. Though I did mention he may not want to read it. He said over the years we had covered a lot of ground and spoken candidly with each other about our past – but the only thing he was still somewhat curious about is how well I moved on afterwards. He said he always felt bad about the breakup because he was concerned for my feelings.
“I think maybe the only thing about the break up I don’t think I said to you is… yeah I was hurt in general, but what really hurt me was when you called me a whore because of the stuff we did in the movie theatre. I know I said some really mean things to you too, there was a bit of back and forth… but I honestly don’t remember any other mean thing you said but that. That one really cut me. After we made up and I left, I wasn’t like still crying over it… but I was really sad when I’d hear music that reminded me of you and all that… took a little while to get over you… I was dating someone else by the end of the year though.”
He responded that this was an example of his selective memory, because he didn’t remember the breakup being particularly nasty.
“Yeah… I was really mean with some of the things I said to you. I think for me stuff I was saying was more of a self-preservation kind of deal than any form of reflection on yourself though. Because the whole relationship up till that point had been wonderful in my opinion. …and that is probably why I’ll feel weird if you were to read my current post. It paints me as a total slut tbh”
“Eh, it’s all water under the bridge… No judgment from me,” he replied.
“I do know you are more enlightened nowadays … It’s just that it kinda stuck with me and I guess I just never wanted you thinking of me like that.” I responded, also telling him he could read it if he wants to obviously.
A little while later the conversation picked up again.
“Yeah, that’s a crazy story. And a scary situation too…” his message popped up on my phone.
“I know right. Not my best decision. I remember calling my BFF when he was taking a long time coming back. I was wavering on whether I could just leave – I wouldn’t have been able to lock up behind me… plus there was the walk to the train station. She confirmed that it was dangerous… she was like “WTF are you doing in Högdalen??!””
He agreed then that it was probably the lesser of two evils to stay put as I did. Then he asked the burning question: “The dude really slept on top of you?!”
“YES. Worst night of my life. Crushing my chest and his skin reeking of beer…and I contracted chlamydia from him. Maja and Svea (my two BFFs from then) are convinced I would have been raped if I had said no. They also both apparently agreed that if I stayed out there watching porn it would have been more than just that one guy to take advantage of the situation.”
I started shaking as I was typing; shaking so much my teeth started chattering.
“God, shaking just telling you about this. So weird. I have wondered if Patrik was receiving compensation for me. Especially given that he left shortly after…”
“Sorry, it’s tough to write about I’m sure Yeah, that’s a heavy burden to have to reflect on all that.” Really, honestly… It’s not the memory so much that bothered me, but the fact that I was telling Justin about it I think.
“At least it was just the once and I didn’t go off with that Ronnie guy at any point. I could have been trapped in an awful situation if I went any further with Patrik’s shenanigans.”
“I forget if the blog mentioned it… What happened with your friendship with Patrik after that event?”
“I didn’t keep talking to him. He took some money from me at one point… like 200 or 300 kronor and I tried to get it back to no avail. Didn’t see him after that….” This was shortly after I decided not to meet Ronnie. Patrik asked me directly for it – actually he asked for 500 SEK, but I just didn’t have that much. When I said I wasn’t sure, he became more demanding until he got it from me.
“I think I remember his last name now.”
“Gonna look him up on Facebook? Lol,” he asked.
I responded in the affirmative and a few minutes later told him “Um. I think I found him. Not positive… obviously dresses differently and would have quit bleaching is hair… but fuck me if this guy also doesn’t have a friend named “Ronnie.”… It fucking is. Timmy is his friend too… and he looks pretty much the same, except he looks a bit leaner now.”
“Might not crush you as much when he falls asleep now.”
Hardy Har Har, Justin!
I told him that I needed to go to bed and he responded with a “Good Night.”
“Thanks hun, you too …and thanks for not calling me a slut…”