I know – that post I posted yesterday was …a surprise. I wrote something somewhat nice about Wyatt… How could I??!
The thing is, yeah, it was not a good relationship, but that doesn’t mean there also wasn’t some good times. I wrote that particular post for two reasons:
1. I want to try to work through some of my bitterness. I don’t want to excuse him, but I want to let go of hard feelings and be happy for me. I also want to be able to remember good times among the bad.
2. I would hope that it might help any young person that reads my blog to connect the dots and understand that even bad relationships have good times. Just because there are good times in a relationship, it doesn’t mean that the relationship as a whole isn’t toxic.
You can’t keep going back or justifying a relationship to yourself just because you had a good time at a concert together. You can’t blind yourself to your problems just because you’ve done well together for a few weeks or even months. Please, recognize this. Please, if you learn nothing else from my blog – learn this: you deserve respect from others and yourself. You deserve a healthy relationship. You deserve to feel safe.
So, will you see any more pleasant Wyatt posts?
Maybe… I haven’t decided yet.
Probably… if any memory ideas gel the way I want them to.
In any case, if you do, just keep in mind that this is for me – to keep bitterness and hate out of my headspace, and for you – to understand that no one has the right to treat you badly just because they are nice sometimes and you had fun that one time. No one has the right to be violent with you just because they say they love you sometimes. No one has the right to scream at you just because last week they kissed you tenderly. No one has the right to abuse you just because they gave you flowers… Remember – even roses have thorns, but sometimes it’s just a thorn sprouting a rose, hun.