Envious inadequacies

A few days ago I got into a group discussion that started with someone expressing their occasional jealousy when they see an old classmate of theirs post about their successful life on Facebook. The jealousy, I think, was based mostly out of the fact that in high school they were on par with talent and they both had the same dreams.

I told her that I get it – I am in touch with the majority of my classmates from High School and the majority are very successful in their fields. The fields ranging from the arts (actors, singers, models, artists) to international business people and economists, diplomats, journalists, bankers, IT gurus, and even a Microsoft PR chief.

I’m just sitting over here being a low-level supervisor at my local hospital. Yeah – at least it’s on par with the track of what my eventual goals were… but I used to want to be an actor or work in the theatre arts of some form. I used to be interested in International Relations and political science… I was always interested in writing. I considered studying linguistics and had an interest in Nordic languages. I still am interested, really, it’s just that now that I have discovered my interest in the health field that took precedence. I have had a slow start getting anywhere with figuring it out later than most, and then having schooling setbacks. Maybe I should have stuck with one main focus and just got that schooling done years ago.

Once in awhile I think on everyone else’s success and I just feel inadequate in comparison. I feel like I should make ES3b proud by being the top of my chosen field. At least near the top.

This morning I woke up to a link posted on my timeline informing me of another successful classmate. His success doesn’t surprise me, but I hadn’t kept up with him so I hadn’t realized that he has become a singer in Sweden. I looked up more info about him – he has his own vevo… he has collabs with Petter (a famous Swedish rapper – he was famous even when we were in Gymnasium 15 years ago.) …and he’s good. Apparently he also does fashion design.

Honestly, I don’t begrudge him or any of the others their successes. I feel like they all deserve it. I’m proud of them all… I just wish I could feel like I were at a level to make them proud in return. I know in reality that my classmates are just as proud of me as I am of them…. buuut….

Sigh. Don’t mind me – I’m not fishing for compliments or pity – I’ll get over myself.

Anyway – here are some youtube clips of said classmate – Daniel Adams-Ray:

(In this one – he is the one that is singing, not rapping…)

Here is a couple English language ones for y’all too, I understand he collaborated with Avicii on both of these. There is at least one other Avicii collab as well… No. …NO… I am NOT jealous!

Well, anyway…. congrats on your success Danne.

Congrats on all your successes ES3b


Oh…check it out… speak of the devil… Daniel and I are standing side by side in our graduation class pic…

EDIT: How dense am I? My BFF just pointed out to me that Daniel was half the duo in the popular rap group “Snook” which was performing even while we were in Gymnasium. I listened to some of their stuff even back then and occasionally over the years since… without ever seeing the faces or looking too far into the duo. God, I am dense. That’s all.

6 thoughts on “Envious inadequacies”

  1. Everyone has those moment I think. There is always going to be someone more successful than you, some even as close as within your own family. I think what matters is how satisfied you are with your own life choices. Sure, so and so is more successful, makes more money, is around more famous people, blah blah. But if you are happy with what you’ve accomplished, then everything else is merely trappings. They may not be satisfied with success either.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You’re right, of course. I am over all happy with my life… it’s just my professional life that I am not entirely satisfied with… oh well, at least I’m making strides in the direction I want to head, so that’s something at least 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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