Years and years ago… I’m starting to lose track now of exactly when… ’96? ’97? I went to a Renaissance Faire somewhere in Virginia. It’s the one and only time I’ve been… I like that kind of stuff, so I’m not sure why I never got around to going back to another one… but life, I guess… Sorry, rambling already I know.
Anyway, I went to this faire with Wyatt and a couple family members, though we were allowed to go off on our own once we got there. I recall some snippets of the day – it was hot, I was trying to stay in the shade as much as I could so the heat wouldn’t suffocate me. We did all the basics – ate turkey legs, browsed around the stalls, watched some shows.
At one point, a woman came around where we were sitting and tried to get Wyatt to buy me a rose. He couldn’t afford it at that point, it was near the end of the day and most of his money had been spent. She goaded him telling him he must show “the lady” he’s in love by buying said rose or the lady would find some other fine gentleman to court… or something to that effect.
I could see that he was trying to control his temper and not lash out at the woman. Eventually she got the hint and moved along, and he queried me if it mattered to me like the woman had suggested.
I took his hand in mine and told him it didn’t bother me, he had already bought me a few trinkets while we were there – and those items would last a lot longer than a rose would anyway. I told him I knew he loved me and I loved him too.
One of the items he bought me was a small glass jug on a leather strap, that contained purple glitter “Magick Faery Dust” and a cork to keep it in.
That item has lasted 19 or 20 years now… Long past the feelings of love faded. Long past the feelings of fear and depression. Long past every other relationship and my getting married and having kids. Long past getting rid of every other trinket or gift Wyatt gave me.
Periodically I clean out my jewellery cases and get rid of items I never use or wear… So how come I still have this one item? How come I leave this in amongst my jewellery for me to find every so often? Maybe it was a subconscious act to make myself recall the relationship and remind myself not to get in so deep again. Not that I didn’t squash it all down and make further mistakes anyway. Maybe I always loved faery stories and purple… and the thought of the item held romantic connotations for me? Maybe I have no idea what my motivations have been, but I looked through my jewellery again last night and I picked it up, rolled it through my fingers, and questioned myself why the fuck I can’t bring myself to throw this damned thing away.