Mid-life

 

Y’all… …. I know I’m only 32 and all (Ah! 33 next month!) but I might just be on the cusp of a mid-life like crisis.

Don’t worry… not going too crazy or anything… But I’ve started to revert back to my teen styles – that’s the main thing. Over the years I tried to grow up, be more “classy” and adjust my style to accommodate my Mom-body over the past 5-6 years.

But something seems to have snapped in me this past year. Maybe it’s all the reminiscing I do on this blog and for my books… Maybe it’s getting closer to my cadets over the past year… I dunno, but I’m tired of trying to be a classy adult-like person. Either way I had gone through several periods of giving that up and looking frumpy.

Obviously, I can’t give up the adulting all together… but I can revert back a bit, style wise…. and still be taken seriously, right? 😉

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For the new year, I dyed my hair – that’s the biggest change. I used to dye my hair fairly frequently as a teen and well into my 20s before I had kids. I believe the last time I dyed my hair was around 2008… But now I have gone from my natural  strawberry blonde to this:

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…and I LOVE it. It looks more like a dark Mahogany brown when not in the sun. Like two hair colours for the price of one! I also aim to make myself stop with the frumpy style of wearing a messy bun everywhere!

I started doing other simple reverts back when I got my Marvin the Martian watch again (it was a replacement one I found for the one I wore for several years around high school), such as: wearing friendship-like bracelets, and starting to wear thumb rings…

 

But one of my most anticipated fashion choices was getting replacement Old Skool Vans… and they arrived yesterday!!

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I used to have a rusty orange pair like these, but they were all suede and the line was white. I looked for those – and found new pairs – but they were $92, and I just couldn’t justify spending that much to myself. So I got these suede and canvas versions.

I am wearing them for the first time today – and it only took a few moments to remember how they ‘should’ be laced. My husband appeared confused and said he’d never seen Vans laced this way… psssh. Whatevs. He’s so not cool … 😛

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He also said he hadn’t seen anyone wear Vans since the ’90s.

Um. Your dear wife had these from ’96 or ’97ish – 2005 and only stopped wearing them because they were destroyed during Hurricane Katrina. We were married in 2003 so that is a full two years of marriage, plus the 8 months we dated… How could he not notice that I wore them?? I mean, they were ORANGE.

Men, I tell ya…

Okay, now… all I need is a dusty green wood bead choker, dusty green skater girl pants… ummm… What else, what else? Oh, to get skinny again would be nice…. Easier to pull of these fashions 🙂 I can’t wear the fitted boot cut jeans that had tears under the butt and at the knee at this weight.

I also used to wear scarves around my waist when I was in Sweden… those look a lot better on me at the lesser weight. I’ll be needing to work on getting healthier anyway.

So anyway… it’s not so much a “New Year, New Me” as it is a “New Year, Old Me.”

I like who I used to be. Sure I had issues with relationships here and there as you know… but I was more fun, overall. I did more things… the sky was the limit back then. I was otherwise relatively carefree, especially in my later teens.

I have slowly been adjusting my social life again this year as well. Trying harder to get out with friends and allow myself to get a little more tipsy than I had been. Prior to this last six months, it had been only once a year at Halloween that I would really drink for the past couple of years. Prior to starting that it had been since 2008, when all the shit with David and Dane happened.

I shut myself off in an attempt to prove to my husband that I could change and wanted to… and then I had kids, so.

I haven’t gotten crazy, and I have no intention of putting myself in similar groups that may get up to similar shenanigans, but now I feel that since I opened up to Jason – he understands me a bit better and realizes I need my time out like this. I also believe he trusts me again since it has been nearly 8 years.

Anyway – go ahead and say it. It’s a mid-life crisis. Maybe just a little one. I won’t go too nuts *crossing fingers* but I feel like it’s something I have to do. Something that will make me happy, and won’t hurt anyone, so why not?

 

 

 

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