Heavy eyes staring at my almost empty coffee mug while I silently will the caffeine to kick in. I stayed up much too late again last night. I mentally kick myself for doing my morning self this injustice… I do it mentally because I am too weak from exhaustion to actually kick myself.
I finish off the last sip and think dammit. Sigh…. I need more coffee. I slowly move my head to look at the door as I wonder if I have the will enough to get up, walk down the hall, and you know… actually make it.
No, I need to conserve my energy for kickboxing tonight. I have to make myself go… if I don’t go when I can, I will end up slacking off and it would be harder to make myself go back.
Music is within arm’s reach… Maybe I can listen to something upbeat to perk me up. I wonder if there’s chocolate in my drawer…
No! NO! (Now I mentally slap my own hand away from the chocolate… still much too weak to do it for real.) Fuck, Rae… We talked about this.
Screw it. I can make it to the kitchen.
New Coffee and some upbeat music… That will get me through the afternoon.