Adventures in Dating, nostalgia, relationships, teenage years, Uncategorized, Wyatt

What in the Actual F*ck?

I knew there was something I forgot to write about. It crossed my mind a couple nights ago, and as I got up to get my computer I lost the thought again. The only thing I could remember is that it related to an old post.

Well, my friends, I’ve found it… and I’m writing real quick before I lose it again.

Back in May I wrote about the movie Fear and then my reactions to having seen it again after so many years. It used to be one of my favourites… I related to it much more than I had admitted to myself at the time… and now I see it for what it was to me.

In the initial Fear post, I mentioned that I had just watched another old movie that had me horrified. I mentioned that ’80s movies got away with a lot more than they do today – and overall I don’t have a real problem with that, but one part in particular… Disgusting.

I said I would write about it next, so sorry I’m a few months overdue… Just a tad late, haha.

The thing about this scene was that it so clearly perpetuated Rape Culture. I know that this runs deep in our society, and really I shouldn’t be surprised – especially given the age of the movie – but seriously, how did anyone think it was okay to add this to a teen movie?

16 Candles, y’all…

The classic teen movie from the ’80s. A movie that would have influenced so many young minds… Boys that would think this was normal, and girls that would see this and assume that that’s just what happens… and if it’s so blasé and amusing in movies, it must be acceptable.

Okay, I’m sure if you are like me and hadn’t seen it in a very long time, you probably don’t even remember what I’d be talking about. I can’t believe it was something I even forgot about, honestly. …Maja literally gasped when I recounted the scene to her – she had forgotten too. Besides which there is SO much peppered throughout  the movie that perpetuates the boys will be boys idea, etc… But this… this is just so blatant.

But there you go – ingrained in my young mind was that if you are a girl drunk and passed out at a party that your boyfriend could sleep with you if he wants to… and even let his friends have you. He can date rape you, like no big deal.

Like you’re his property. Like you’re his play thing. Like you as a person don’t really matter and that you got yourself in this situation anyway.

In this movie there is a scene where popular-boy love interest’s mean girl girlfriend is so wasted that she passes out. He tells another boy “I can get a piece of ass anytime I want. Shit, I got Caroline in my bedroom right now, passed out cold. I could violate her ten different ways if I wanted to.”

What in the Actual Fuck?

Then he offers her to the other boy by saying “I’ll make a deal with you. Let me keep these [main girl Samantha’s panties]. I’ll let you take Caroline home … She’s so blitzed she won’t know the difference.”

We don’t see anything in between, but we are led to believe when they wake up in Jake’s dad’s convertible the next morning that they did in fact have sex.

But oh it’s so funny… and must not be rape because she didn’t resist. In fact, she woke up enough to be silly and slutty and believing that the freshman pipsqueak, Ted, in the car with her was her popular boyfriend , Jake. Because Jake told her so. WTF.

In the morning, she’s a little ashamed; a little surprised, but hardly displays any hurt or rage at the situation. Suddenly she’s kinda nice. She said she enjoyed it and liked waking up in his arms.

WHAT. In. The. Ever. Loving. FUCK?!

Way to encourage boys to do whatever the fuck they want, Mr Hughes. Obviously all she needed was the right boy’s manhood thrust upon her to change her into a completely nice and compliant girl.

And

Then

We finish off the movie with Samantha’s sister basically being forced down the aisle on her wedding day. Also blitzed out of her mind on pain killers, because periods suck y’all, and though she is in no state to consent and is in fact resisting, is dragged down the aisle anyway.

As stated these are not all of the Rape Culture related issues in this movie. I’m sure others have had to have noticed and written about this too… because in today’s world, at our grown ages, how can we not see it for what it is?

Nostalgia really tricked me with that one… and now I don’t even know what else I would have watched as a kid that may have influenced me when it comes to past compliance to men and my warped sense of what was ok in a relationship.

I said in my 2nd Fear post:

I don’t know why I couldn’t recognize it for what it was at the time. Did I somehow get further influenced in the moment because I watched Margot say “So he hit you – sometimes that’s their asshole way of showing they love you.”

Obviously one fucking line from one fucking movie wouldn’t have brainwashed me.

No one fucking line didn’t brainwash me. Maybe a whole bunch of them did, from a whole bunch of movies and songs…. and people’s attitudes in general. I don’t blame the media fully for my issues. There were other events in my life not centred around the TV that influenced how I turned out and acted in certain situations… But movies like this, that I would have watched; that didn’t shock me at the time, but that played in the background of my mind certainly didn’t help.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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9 thoughts on “What in the Actual F*ck?”

  1. I’ve never seen Sixteen Candles but I am so horrified! I partly want to see it for myself, but I partly feel like I’ll just go into rage mode, and what’s the point!? But great post!! Love it!

    Liked by 1 person

      1. No problems!! I really loved it, it was an excellent post!
        I’m not sure which movie, I think it was The Breakfast Club, but I don’t know (you might know better) that really summed up society’s view of women (I saw a meme on it):
        “You’re a slut if you have and you’re a prude if you haven’t.” Maybe that could be another good point, too!?

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I think you might be right, but its been a looong time since I watched any of the other brat pack movies. 🙂 I’m sure most of them could be picked apart like this by our standards today. Its a shame …but society is slowly evolving and getting better standards as time goes on. Maybe my daughter (and son) or grandkids will get to see it at it’s best someday…

        Liked by 1 person

      3. This is going to sound so stupid, but what’s the brat pack movies?? Definitely!! And I think you’re definitely right – some things are coming leaps and bounds!! I really like it!

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Brat pack are a group of teen actors from the 80s that tended to be in all the same teen movies… Molly Ringwald, Emilio Estevez… Etc essentially the the Breakfast Club kids, but there were a few others I think in that grouping that weren’t in that particular movie

        Liked by 1 person

      5. Oh, cool!! I don’t think I’ve ever seen any of those movies at all! I think I tried to watch The Breakfast Club once, but I got bored. I don’t really remember it!

        Liked by 1 person

      6. Yeah Breakfast Club wasn’t my fave… I may have been too young for a lot of those movies when I first watched them to really like/connect with them. Lots of better 80s movies in my opinion… Though I do like some of the actors themselves 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

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