An open letter to men, regarding Chinese takeout

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pen pals on pills

I keep many thoughts to myself while indulging in a taste of the Orient, and it’s not because of the cashew chicken clogging my windpipe.

A girl is at her most vulnerable while consuming Chinese takeout: when alone, the room is likely dark, sunlight blocked by blankets pinned to the walls, limiting visibility. Last-last night’s mascara has seeped into the creases below the eyes on night one, then back into the eyeballs on night two, further obstructing sight. Deodorant has not been applied for over 48 hours, masking the scent of any approaching predator. The DVD menu of 10 Things I Hate About You is blaring the same 15 seconds of Cheap Trick’s “I Want You to Want Me” on repeat, overpowering the sound of an axe shattering the kitchen window.

When accompanied by a man-friend, vulnerability takes on an entirely new meaning. A twist of circumstances has led…

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