Our Song – You’ll Always be a Part of Me

As I drove along in the rain drizzle towards work, I listened to Taylor Swift’s Fearless album. It had been awhile since I had listened to Taylor, so I turned it up as I crested over the bridge headed out of town.

Firstly, I’d like to say that some of you may know that I adore Taylor. I connect with her and her lyrics and I am ashamed that she would be so shamed by the media or whoever about how many relationships she has had. Honestly, I don’t think her count is much higher than mine – especially if you include the four boys I dated before Wyatt.

I’ve stated before that Wyatt was my first boyfriend, and that is how I view him, because as I got older I started to consider the prior four boys as practice-dating. We were in 6th and 7th grade, we thought we were grown and having real relationships… but as an adult I realize that we were just practicing. Falling-in-like and holding hands or kissing on occasion, calling each other boyfriend/girlfriend for a few weeks or possibly a couple of months before moving on. Not even getting to French kissing I believe Haha.

Anyway, leave Taylor alone. There is nothing wrong with her number…. And hey, if anyone can get this message to her: Hey Tay, I’d love to read your account about all your relationships… How ‘bout you write us a book? 😉

And now, back to my drive to work:

“Our Song” came on and I started to think about having a song with somebody. Why and how did such a tradition start? Why do we connect so much over music? How did that become ingrained so well in us, that as 90s teenagers we would be talking about the need for a song to define our relationships?

Then, I thought about the only person I ever had a song with. Not counting Viktor, of course, whose suggestion was the song we had sex for the first time to… with the unfortunate title. Haha.

In the mid-90s, Wyatt decided our song should be “Always Be My Baby,” by Mariah Carey. I suppose that’s about as romantic one could get at that time. I remember hearing that song on the radio when we were in process of moving to Ethiopia, and I remember crying. I was so sad to be leaving my serious boyfriend behind… Though we intended to continue long distance as we were sure we would marry someday. No matter the problems we had, I was sure we were in love and our relationship would last – but to be apart for so long….

After we broke up around 6 months later, I couldn’t bear to listen to that song when it came on. It reminded me of too much. It reminded me of the hold he had on me, and the mixed feelings I had about the relationship as a whole – love, desire, fear, shame.

I avoided that song for many, many years. As it stopped playing on the radio and MTV regularly, it became easier and easier to avoid. However; a year or two ago I came across it randomly on youtube.

My feelings weren’t as strong and fresh anymore, so I gave it a view. I thought what a nice song it was, and I recalled the video with some nostalgia. It’s a shame it had been ruined for me all those years. It is not a song I have since searched out or listened to repeatedly, but it is now a song I can listen to again without crushing me… and the lyrics, yet, seem to be… echoing at me from the past. Reminding me that no matter where I go or what I do, Wyatt will always be a part of me.

 

~~~~~~

You’ll always be a part of me I’m part of you indefinitely

Boy don’t you know you can’t escape me

Ooh darling ’cause you’ll always be my baby

And we’ll linger on Time can’t erase a feeling this strong

No way you’re never gonna shake me

Ooh darling ’cause you’ll always be my baby

 

 

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1 Comment

  1. Pingback: Voice as Sweet as Salt | I Will Not Live in Vain

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