memories, teenage years, Uncategorized, youth

Cooking Sherry Shots

I know, that sounds disgusting. But my 7th grade self wouldn’t have known any better, at least not initially.

I told this story to a friend that knew me back then a couple of months ago while we were reminiscing about people we knew then. “Yup, that sounds like Nicole,” he said.

Nicole was a year ahead of me and to me she seemed so mature and cool. She was another American girl and we both attended St Philips College here in Alice Springs Australia.

I went over to her house one night to “help” her babysit her younger sibling… There really wasn’t much to do as the child was asleep the majority of the time anyway. So Nicole suggested we have a drink. She acted like she really knew her stuff when it came to alcohol, and I trusted that she did. She was a bit of a trouble maker – no doubt she would have had at least a bit more experience than me anyway.

She pulled a bottle of cooking sherry off of the top of the fridge and dug out some glasses. She instructed me on how one was “supposed” to do shots – which was in specifically the tequila shot fashion… Licking salt and sucking lime along with it.

She got it all prepared and we did it simultaneously.

I gagged immediately and ran to the sink to rinse off my tongue. My god was that nasty. She acted like it was no big deal… I thought I must just not be used to drinking like her. …Now I know that she really didn’t know shit and that is still fucking nasty regardless, haha.

I am not a big fan of tequila anyway, but it is definitely much better suited to salt and lime. I have never even touched cooking sherry again, not in 20 years… Not even for cooking. Thanks for that, Nicole.

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84 thoughts on “Cooking Sherry Shots”

  1. Oh dear! I think we’ve all had those friends who act the big man (or in this case, woman), but are in fact nothing more than a massive gobshite! Haha. I used to experiment with spirits with varying degrees of success ranging from awful to nigh on lethal. Hardly surprising then I never became a cocktail waiter!

    Great post and a great read πŸ™‚

    (Tried liking it, but for some reason the app on my phone won’t let me :-/ I’ll be sure to as soon as I get on my laptop)

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Twatwaffle. You, my dear, are fucking brilliant! As we’re exchanging insults we can each use, you can have this one…hoofwanking bunglecunt! I can’t take credit for it unfortunately. My best mate called it me once and I nearly died laughing

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Nice! It makes no sense, but then that’s part of its charm. Haha. I recently got called ‘salty’ by somebody and I have absolutely no idea what the fuck that’s supposed to mean. I can only assume the person was American and young and there’s literally no insult in the world a young American could throw at me that would even remotely hurt my feelings. I’m not sure about Aussie’s though. You guys can be brutal when you want to be. I’ve seen Home & Away. In fact, I see it more than I care to! Worth it though for Alf Stewart. Legend!

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Haha … agree about Australian insults… though I’m about to be American again… moving back to the US next week… siiigh. Though I’ve only lived just under half my life in the US. Sooo Salty… I assume that means “well seasoned ” … sounds like a compliment to me! Bahaha

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Whereabouts are you moving to? I’ve never visited neither the US or Oz, despite my auntie, uncle and a bunch of cousins living in the latter.
        I must go back and thank them for the compliment, though earlier in the ‘argument’ he did tell me to kill myself. He actually wrote ‘kys’ and I pointed out that it should perhaps have been ‘ky’ as ‘yourself’ is, as you are no doubt aware, one word

        Liked by 1 person

      5. Ahaha ha love that. It’s so effective in minimising insults when you can insult their ability to insult. At the moment I am in central Australia in the same town I lived in as a kid (Alice Springs – sister’s bff in primary school was a Bailey??) but we are moving at least temporarily to North Carolina where my in laws live. My husband is looking for a new job though, so we could end up anywhere in the next several months. He’s had interviews for Massachusetts, Wisconsin, California… but he’s also applying for Harrogate, England … Norway, Germany, Japan… fingers crossed for Europe again!!

        Liked by 1 person

      6. You could tell from the off that this fella was lacking in any decent level of grey matter. Bless his cotton socks!
        My family are in Queensland as I recall.
        The only thing I know about North Carolina is that Matt and Jeff Hardy are from there and Ric Flair was billed as being so as well. So pretty much all wrestling references. Haha.
        Harrogate isn’t massively faraway from me. It’s in North Yorkshire. I’ve never actually been there though. Passed it, but not been in it. You sound like a proper globetrotter. I’m somewhat jealous of you!

        Liked by 1 person

      7. It’s had its perks, but also tends to make me bored of any one place or situation after 3-4 years. I’ve lived all over since I was a kid… I lived near Oxford when I was young, also Djibouti, Ethiopia, Mauritius, High School years were spent in Stockholm…

        Liked by 1 person

      8. One of the loves of my life was from Manchester πŸ˜‰ if I end up in Harrogate ever (pleasepleaseplease) we’ll make those beers happen 😊 I have quite a few memories on this blog, but I’m also in process of reediting my full memoir that has a lot more stories obviously lol

        Liked by 1 person

      9. Oh really? You mustn’t have high standards. Hahahaaa! You certainly seem the type of lady I’d enjoy getting drunk with. Fun people are few and far between nowadays.
        Are you looking to get your memoirs published?

        Liked by 1 person

      10. My relationship memoir is currently on the market. It’s called “that boy gave me cooties” …that one might cause your blood pressure to go up in parts πŸ˜› as for the rest I had an overall memoir out first… I wrote it mainly for my kids before friends pushed me to publish it. In the end I wasn’t as happy with it, so it’s back off the market at the moment while I round it out better and edit out some of the gratuitous just-to-make-people-happy kinds of passages

        Liked by 2 people

      11. I commend you for editing out those parts. When a story becomes what you think “they” want and not how you intended it loses its you-ness. Have you got a link to the one that is out? I’m always interested to read other people’s stuff, even if I might well be nursing a semi throughout. Haha

        Liked by 1 person

      12. I’ll look at getting that ordered soon. I still need to order Caleb Wygal’s ‘Blackbeard’s Lost Treasure’ too. I see you’ve got a few books out there. i didn’t realise I was in the presence of a published author. Colour me humbled

        Liked by 1 person

      13. Ah, so it was her books I kept seeing? Nah, she can smeg off! Haha. I go by Paul.E.Bailey because there’s an author called Paul Bailey out there. Never actually read any of his stuff, but I know he’s written a fair few and he’s about fifty years my senior

        Liked by 1 person

      14. Yup! I had to add an initial at the last minute. I’ve never read her stuff either… though some book convention thing got us confused and tagged my author FB page in pictures of her a couple weeks ago πŸ˜‚ problem is “Meadows” is a pseudonym, but even with my real last name there is some apparently famous artist… gosh. Can’t catch a break! Haha

        Liked by 1 person

      15. I might do the typical author thing and create a pseudonym. To be fair, I had loads in my teens; the most often used one was Edwin Saxton who was a slightly maniacal Welsh poet (which strictly makes him an alter ego rather than a pseudonym, but I don’t actually suffer from multiple personality disorders). Then there was Grant Haygarth who was an astrologist, except his style of astrology was kind of “Sagittarians may lose their arm in a lawnmower accident this week…or they may not”. There were other wacky characters too

        Liked by 1 person

      16. I suppose I can understand that. The in-laws would never like to imagine the person married into their family had such a good time bonking other people before meeting their little angel. Haha. I like to weird male friends out by saying ‘next time you kiss a girl, imagine how many different cocks she could’ve had in there’. No bloke likes to think of their woman getting shagged before they went there. Haha

        Liked by 1 person

      17. Lol true true. He also doesn’t want them to know about the guy when I was 25… because we were already married then. We almost divorced but we worked it out obviously… regardless, his family doesn’t need to know about the other man.

        Liked by 1 person

      18. Except for the one Manchesterian… Manchesterite? Lol I’ve not gotten back with any really. Well, the other Brit I dated, we were on and off again for a few years… I’m friends with most of the exes, some more closely than others obviously …at least friendly acquaintances. Only two are completely without contact… those two were my abusers.

        Liked by 1 person

      19. Fucking abusers! I’m coming across an awful lot of victims of abuse here on WP and it makes me shudder. There are so many more of these vile people than I ever realised. I’m happy you’ve come through the other side, but those scars never heal do they.
        The official term is Mancunian by the way. Or as I like to call them, scum! Haha

        Liked by 1 person

      20. There are a lot of bloggers with abuse stories… makes me sad, but on the other hand, the first one was when I was so young (13-15, he was 15-17) I just always assumed we all have relationships like that at some point. The second was short lived when I was 25, but he’s the one I would literally be frightened of meeting again. I only just realised last year that not all women have those experiences when a friend said she had never had a man speak to her the way that man had spoken to me, or treated her the way they treated me. I was honestly astonished 😳

        Liked by 1 person

      21. That doesn’t sound so weird because I’ve heard other people say it before. Distressingly I’ve had girls say it to me that I was seeing. they’d expect a bad reaction to something so trivial and were alarmed when I didn’t react at all. I had one girl finish me for being ‘too nice’. I wasn’t even too nice. Just normal really. But because her ex was such a twat she expected to be shat on and, to her, I was the weird one

        Liked by 1 person

      22. I’ve never broken up with someone for being too nice… but I certainly have certain behaviours and expectations for reactions from men even now. Took a long time to not flinch when I expected I’d get slapped or have my wrists grabbed or something

        Liked by 1 person

      23. Aw thanks πŸ™‚ I don’t really find it condescending per se… hard to explain, just like… but this is just my life, and it was all so long ago… why are people sympathising with me? I just always felt it all could have ended up so much worse, so I feel like one of the lucky ones overall I guess

        Liked by 1 person

      24. So you’re a pervert? Sweet. I’m liking you more with each passing comment πŸ˜› Haha. You seem a little too intelligent and eloquent to be a window licker though. Unless your carer is currently writing all this for you of course. In which case, hello carer πŸ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

      25. Lol it was my husband that called me that when I scared the shit out of him by pressing my face up against his shower door. One and only time I have ever successfully frightened him. It was glorious… and in that case the name seemed fitting πŸ˜‚ as for pervert… my bffs call me the “Samantha” of the group in reference to the over sexed character from sex in the city… soooo…

        Liked by 1 person

      26. Ah, all becomes clear. In that sense the insult seems perfectly reasonable. Haha. Freaking people out can be fun, especially loved ones.
        And the pervert part becomes very clear also. Nothing wrong with a high sex drive. Then I would say that being a bloke and all…

        Liked by 1 person

      27. I’ve known my husband for 14 years. Only scared him the once. It was glorious. On the other hand, he frightens me every other day just walking into the kitchen Lol.
        I’ll have to direct you to some of the more Samantha-esque posts I’ve written then haha

        Liked by 1 person

      28. Yeah, but having that one victory makes everything better. It’s that one thing you can hold onto and refer to. Kinda like Man United fans who cling desperately onto the fact their team used to be amazing. Haha.
        Will my blood pressure be able to handle it? I’d hate to come over all lustful πŸ˜‰

        Liked by 1 person

      29. Haha. That was a funny read. Nice to meet a fellow formerly promiscuous person who still has a very promiscuous way of thinking. Would I be right to assume that while you stop short of actually getting down and dirty with people, you mentally fuck them all around the house and then some?

        Liked by 1 person

      30. I was pretty prolific, I can’t deny. I’m not proud of it, but nor am I ashamed. I was a young man doing what young men do. I broke some hearts, had my own heart broken, but most of all I had some bloody good fun. The only regret I have is that I put going out getting pissed and/or laid over my writing

        Liked by 1 person

      31. I’m not ashamed of my number either. In fact, sometimes I wish it were higher… I wrote about it once and had another blogger say I sounded like a man or something LOL… not such a bad thing I guess πŸ˜‚ I didn’t purposely put partying above my dreams, but a lot of my stuff got derailed simply by being in a serious relationship and then getting married

        Liked by 1 person

      32. I don’t see the point in one being ashamed of their number. It clearly didn’t bother them while they were out amassing that total, so why bemoan it afterwards? They only do so in order to seem less of a slut to everybody, but that’s just stupid. My number is high, but I wish it were higher because there were loads of missed opportunities. Four years wasted in a relationship I spent three years not wanting to be in as well.
        My regret isn’t doing all the stuff I did. It was being lazy in times where I COULD have been writing and wasn’t doing. I had more than enough time between all the promiscuity

        Liked by 1 person

      33. Yeah my issue is growing up around evangelical Christians and knowing several women who have their one and only boyfriend, let alone lay, be their husband. Dealt with a lot of pressure to feel ashamed. But I’m not. I regret certain missed opportunities too. … and hey, sent you a FB messenger request since we seem to have a few conversations going on.., if you want to consolidate that is LOL

        Liked by 1 person

      34. I noticed you’d liked a couple of posts on my page. If you have a page I’ll be sure to like it too. Like for like is the way to a happier world. I’ve not been on FB all day (to be honest, I’d much rather talk to people on WP because FB is full of absolute shite), but for you I shall make the exception because you’re obviously damned cool!
        I find it so funny (ironically) that violent bastards are always religious. Makes me happy I’m an atheist. I’d rather follow a moral code than some ancient/classical era bollocks written in a book by people who were obviously tripping their tits off!

        Liked by 1 person

      35. Yup I have an authors page, don’t post a lot on there… and it’s cool we don’t have to be actual friends on personal FB pages, just thought messenger might be easier lol
        I’ve become more of an agnostic as time has worn on. A few exes are atheists and they were/are some of the best guys. Justin became atheist after we broke up and he’s positive I would be now too if we stayed together… but I’m not ready to take that step fully yet

        Liked by 1 person

      36. I don’t mind being your FB friend πŸ™‚ I don’t post all too often as I don’t do what everybody else does and post trite memes or propaganda these days. People on FB are boring me more by the day. Maybe you’d help spice it up for me. Haha.
        You’ve gotta do what’s right for you. I pour scorn on religion, but only because people use it to incite hatred these days. Those who use it as a moral code and look to be better people as a result are absolutely A1 in my book. Believe whatever you like if you’re doing it for the powers of good

        Liked by 1 person

      37. Oo I’ll have a bit to live up to in FB land then… I am on there way too much… but I have been told that some friends still follow me because I tend to be funny. I am on there way too much I’ll admit though!! 😳

        Liked by 1 person

      38. Social media is a trap that’s tough to break out of. I’ve grown to find it mundane since WP came into my life. Plus I get annoyed when 2-3 people are liking my shared blog posts, but 250 people like a picture of a fucking cat!

        Liked by 1 person

      39. Yeah I feel ya on that. Never quite sure if my friends care to read my blog posts usually… I’ve gotten good feedback from people occasionally, but most of the time I have to assume they prefer the memes or some shit because I don’t often get reactions to my posts through FB … siiigh

        Liked by 1 person

      40. I don’t care whether my friends read them or not, but is it really so difficult to like a bleeding post? Given the 250 likes on cat pictures I can only assume not. I just get the impression that people seem to be either wary about showing support or they literally just scroll past with zero fucks given. I’m sure their tune will change if I actually get published, but by that point they’ll have alienated me to the point where their sudden show of support means absolutely nothing to me

        Liked by 1 person

      41. I guess I just like knowing sometimes that people are interested in what I write… I would hope my closest friends especially would be… it’s hard to tell if they don’t like or comment occasionally… but then out of the blue every now and then someone with private message me and indicate that they read something of mine and enjoyed it – so that’s always nice…

        Liked by 1 person

      42. I don’t get such reassurance from my closest friends. One of them does occasionally share and like my stuff, but only one. My biggest supporter has been a guy I used to work with. He’s been absolutely amazing. Proofread my story, created a WordPress account just to follow and like my blog and now writes one himself. His support has been invaluable and I will owe so much to him if I’m in any way successful. He’s quickly become one of my best friends

        Liked by 1 person

      43. That’s awesome! I have one friend that has been very encouraging and was in fact the person who pushed me to publish my stuff and helped me edit the last two books… every now and then someone will let me know they’ve read a bunch of stuff – like my coach went and read my blog for a few hours one day… or I find out from someone that another friend read my book and said they really liked it… but in general a lot of my friends are silent and I only find out they actually read something in particular if they say so – it usually surprises me when they do

        Liked by 1 person

      44. I’d be utterly astounded if any of my mates took the time to read my blog. I highly doubt they’d read my novel either if it got published. They couldn’t give a shit; that’s only too obvious. But I don’t care. If I was doing it for them then I might, but I’m doing it for me and nobody else. I’m grateful for those who are reading and keeping up to date with my posts

        Liked by 1 person

      45. I just can’t tell half the time. Usually the people I assume wouldn’t give a shit are the ones that do… like coach seemed very disinterested at first, but once he realised who I was to him he went on a blog bender… lol though at the moment he’s too scared to read the book haha

        Liked by 1 person

      46. I don’t normally do the whole petty eye for an eye, I’ll scratch your back if you scratch mine thing, but it’s reached that point where I’ve had enough of the blatant ignorance. People who want my assistance and aren’t prepared to do as little as like my Facebook page can, to quote Abraham from The Walking Dead, suck my nuts

        Liked by 1 person

      47. Haha. Obviously only attractive women need apply πŸ˜‰ It’s abundantly clear most friends don’t care. Probably think I’m being immature by not working 60 hours a week for minimum wage and ending up miserable. Let’s face it, writers are always seen as bums who are just trying to avoid work and seem deep

        Liked by 1 person

      48. Yeah I hear ya. At least for me, here it’s not so odd because so many women in the town are stay at home mums that write or do other artistic ventures and it’s more like, ok, trying to do something while still fulfilling home duties or whatever so more generally accepted in that case. Soon I’ll be moving to where most all women work outside the home again though

        Liked by 1 person

      49. Best of luck with that adjustment. It does grate on me how there’s a societal stigma attached to writers that they’re all a bit dim, when I’m here on WordPress meeting some of the most enlightening, intelligent and interesting people I’ve ever come across; present company included naturally πŸ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

      50. Yes, I agree πŸ™‚ So much talent and intelligence to be found among writers …you certainly aren’t dim, I can tell that and if your mates/society thinks that about your writing/dreams then fuck them… they’re just punks !

        Liked by 1 person

      51. I don’t actually know what they think. Probably nothing. They probably don’t actually care at all. But I’m past caring (sort of). I didn’t need them to help me start writing so I don’t need their help to continue

        Liked by 1 person

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