A friend posted something on Facebook about a new NOFX album. Well, Fuck, if that didn’t take me back.
Imagine, if you will, skinny-minnie Emma in her green corduroy skate pants, or perhaps some baggy jeans with ripped up seams where the bottoms had been walked on beneath the heels of her Airwalks or Vans a few too many times. Long straight Strawberry Blonde hair and a fitted shirt showing her midriff, most likely. A few cord and hemp necklaces sitting as chokers or otherwise no longer than her collar bone. A chain around her wrist, another chain hanging from her wallet – though this one was shorter and thinner than her boyfriend’s chains. The one around her wrist matched the thickest of his wallet chains – it had been cut off from the same set of links.
She, sitting on a curb with her skateboard under her feet; a beat up refurbished skateboard that had once belonged to Jacob. This skateboard had been so lovingly restored by Wyatt… He was always inspecting the wheels and bolts to ensure her safety. The underside stripped so Emma could decorate it as she willed. A Marvin the Martian and the MXPX logo dude drawn on in sharpie; along with various skateboard stickers – NOFX being one of them.
Hence the memory.
NOFX was Wyatt’s favourite band, that’s why it was on her skateboard… because he put it there.
I just want to note here before I go further: no need to imagine Emma actually skateboarding. She is and always has been a klutz. She was absolutely no good at it, haha. But, bless her, she tried.
As time went on, and Emma broke up with Wyatt, she had no need to seek out listening to NOFX further. She still listened to many of the bands they both liked – MxPx, Greenday, Nirvana, Bush… etc among other punk and rock bands… But knowing NOFX had been one of his favourites gave her the feeling that she had no need to seek them out.
Not as strong a feeling of avoiding that one Mariah Carey song… More of a no interest any more as opposed to a full avoidance.
Twenty odd years later and she’s reminded of them again. A flashback to a past, that was. No longer as much of a sinking feeling in her stomach when she is reminded of him and his abusive tendencies.
No longer the immediate image of him screaming obscenities in her face or striking her. So she thought about listening to them again this morning. Perhaps digging back out her old MxPx CDs while she’s at it… Regardless, she instinctively reached for her oldskool Vans as she got ready.
But as she got into her car, she acted on the impulse to put Eve 6 on again. She has no negative feelings or memories when it comes to Eve 6. She turns the volume up as loud as it will go and flips to “Open Road Song” as her speed increases on the highway out of town.
I crack a window
And feel the cool air cleanse my every pore
As I pour my poor heart out
To a radio song that’s patient and willing to listen
My volume drowns it out
Ya, but that’s okay cuz I sound better than him anyway
Ya, my voice is sweet as salt
I search for comfort and I find it where I found it many times before
Times before can be forgotten, yeah!