The problem with asking your best friends for ideas for your blog is that they will invariably bring up that they still laugh when you write BJJ – for it’s resemblance to the acronym “BJ” – and then suggest that that you write something vulgar.
Well, that’s my best friends for you anyway.
So, no, I’m not going to be as crass as to write about “Suck Jobs” like Svea suggested. Perhaps, though, I will skirt around the issue…. as I want to write and had no further inspiration today to write about anything else.
I think I’ve mentioned before here that my friends consider me the “Samantha” of the group – a reference to the overly sexed character from Sex and The City.
This has been well established on my FB page when our conversations spill from private to public and every now and then the rest of my friends can see how mean they are to me … LOL
Usually I doth protest too much.
But last night I had a conversation with Maja in which I had sent her a picture over messenger of a man I find quite attractive. She responded in Swedish “Raaaaeeee… You love him you like him you want to kiss and hug… and then get knullas.”
“Faktist,” I responded that it was factual what she said.
She found it refreshing that I didn’t protest and feign insult from her this time.
“Refreshing” made me think of Dr Pepper – which in our little group is a euphemism nowadays. It’s based off of a story from my past, based off of a time with a man and the taste reference …which Maja mercilessly teased me about. Let’s just say here that Dr Pepper makes my friends think much along the lines that “BJJ” does.
So I responded to her, still in Swedish, “Fuuuuuuccccck… I want to… erm… drink Dr Pepper with him.”
This warranted several LOLs and crying laughing emojis, Haha.
I won’t ever act on such an impulse, believe me… I have no interest in reliving events such as David. I have no desire to test the waters with any other man who might go ape-shit on my ass again. I also, of course, have no desire to hurt my husband.
But, fuck, y’all… Sex is funny. …and I like to make my friends laugh. I do self deprecating humor well, especially in this area. Damn, but chlamydia jokes are all the more funny given that I had it as a young adult – and my friends know this.
Why else, though would I be a Samantha? Yes, I am frank about my sex life and I make off colour jokes…. But I am also naturally flirtatious when I am comfortable with people. I suppose that could and has gotten me in trouble before. Or, well, at least caused misunderstandings. I’m honestly not always aware that I come off as flirtatious in certain situations.
Maybe this is side of me is what has decided that this is my new favorite mug:
I meeeann… I do like me some sailors. Haha. (Given that my husband was one when we met and I am a very respectable married woman now… *Ahem*)
Military men in general… But… Oh, a well placed “Well, hello there, Sailor”… Haha.
I’m also the Samantha because, frankly, I’ve had more partners than them. Possibly even the two of them put together. I suppose if I add Dane’s partners in the mix they’d probably beat me out.
Fuck you, I’m not a slut.
Ok, maybe I have been known to be “promiscuous”… buuut…