How Drunk ARE You?

I swayed slightly as I stood up from the kitchen table. I was finished tormenting Felix in his inebriated state and felt it time to move on to another party activity.

We had been grouped mostly in the kitchen mixing drinks and retching over the taste of the Punsch I had gotten from my father after he had left the country. We tried the Punsch and it smelled horrible – a scent that permeated the plastic cups for weeks after. An issue that luckily the missionaries I was living with did not notice. Their 15 year old daughter noticed though – silently pointing it out to me behind her parent’s backs and making a gagging face. She knew what it was, regardless, she had been there at the beginning of the party before going off with her own friends. Her parents having been out of town. …I was clearly not as good an influence on her as her parents assumed.

It the kitchen as we drank various other liquors my father had left me, we became increasingly drunk and I did not notice when two friends disappeared off to fuck in the 15 year old’s bed (she, uhhh… wasn’t pleased when she got home and realised that had happened…) I was too busy aggravating Felix and he was busy doing likewise to me.

I said something offhand to him in English and he yelled at me “Du bor i Sverige! Pratar Svenska fΓΆr fan!” (You live in Sweden! Speak Swedish, for fuck’s sake!)

I responded in English something snarky – purposely continually responding to him in English just to piss him off. It was a strange sensation, but it felt like I was quicker with the Swedish when I was drunk. I think it was likely my inhibitions over a second language were diminished due to the drink.

I laughed heartily as Felix swore at me all the more. Clearly annoyed as he slammed his hand on the table and told me to ‘Fucking stop it.’

Finally, I was done tormenting him… it was time to move on so I stood and swayed – the alcohol having affected me more than I realised while I was sitting.

I walked out to the living room and there was discussion of watching a movie – we’d have to watch a VHS as that’s all the missionaries had. No over air TV, even. It was decided at some point that Almost Famous would get put on – my personal video. Not one that was in their movie collection. I vaguely remember smoking a bidi – likely grape flavoured as that was what I usually bought at the time. Not that many flavours were otherwise available.

I don’t think I put the movie in. If I had, maybe my drunken confusion wouldn’t have happened.

I was laying on the couch. So tired. So drunk.

About half way through the movie… Maybe less… who really can follow time when one is inebriated? I let my thoughts out loud “Are we actually watching Almost Famous? Or have I just seen it so much I can imagine watching the whole thing?”

Svea turned to look at me. She smirked and let out a laugh.

“How drunk ARE you?”

I shrugged my shoulders and said, in a dazed voice, “I dunno… But… You didn’t answer my question…”



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