depression, Uncategorized, youth

Ignoring the Negativity

Ignore the featured picture… Well, no… Don’t ignore it – but take note that it doesn’t really have much to do with this post. Except… It makes me happy. It is an Alphonse Mucha image and I don’t know if I’ve said it before, but Mucha is my favorite artist. (Shoot! I should have kept that as a fact to share next time I get one of those blog awards that demand to know stuff about me Haha.)

Anyway, I think I’m kind of down in the dumps again. Not really a depression… But perhaps an adjustment period I guess among other things.

One thing that I suddenly realised today was that I think the Winter season is affecting me negatively. On one hand it’s nice to have the snow again… Real snow that sticks around and reminds me of Sweden. People walking out on Lake Michigan reminds me of skating in Lidingรถ or skating and long distance skiing out at Borka with Svea.

You know what else is reminding me of Sweden? An early sunset. Not quite as early as in Scandinavia – but 4:30 PM is still much earlier than I’ve known for years.

I used to think that my excessive sleeping as a teenager was just that – being a teenager that required more sleep. The days were dark and cold, my room was in the basement and that blocked out all light regardless of the season or time of day. The perfect place to flop onto my bed and move nary a muscle for the next 12 hours.

Often it was as soon as I returned home from school; often I didn’t get up in time for my first class the next day.

I now see a similar pattern starting again. I go to bed close to my usual time at night, get up to get the kids ready for school and get them on the bus… and then flop right back into bed. I may stay awake for an hour or so answering messages or playing on my phone and then I fall back to sleep. Today I didn’t get back up until an hour or so before it was time to get the kids from the bus. The last few days I had at least a couple hours awake before hand…

Fuck. I have no motivation. I am just so tired all the time… always was, but its worse now. I feel like a teenager again. I mean… I wanted to be a youth again, but not like this! LOL

On top of the likely Seasonal Affective Disorder I’m dealing with (where is my Dad’s light therapy lamp when I need it?), there is the lack of mobility (no car yet, so I can’t go anywhere during the week when Hubby is working… hopefully that will be remedied this weekend), there is the lack of local friends yet and a lack of a way to really make any just yet…

I’m also becoming more disillusioned with Social Media, not really on the whole – but portions of my social media life have just become so negative lately. Ugh. When one is struggling to stay above board and not let the “sads” in one does not need to deal with negativity, self righteousness, or judgemental opinions – even when they are not aimed at oneself. The US Political climate aside (That is a whole ‘nother depressing note… it’s just getting worse and worse as inauguration day nears), there were too many people I’ve had to hide from my newsfeed or groups I’ve had to leave for my own sanity and to make my mental space a better one.

I just don’t understand why people, though they may not agree, can’t take a moment to consider the other side of things. Consider the people behind the opposing view – especially when that view is not outright racist or homophobic or just plain hateful in general. Respect is what we need to get our heads around. Respect that others have different world views, different points of view and may not realise how upsetting their thought process may be to you. Even so – explain your point of view, maybe they’ll get it – maybe they won’t – but half of the instances I see lately are someone hell bent on being the judge and jury and bringing someone else down a peg or more.

I pointed out the need for some understanding and giving someone a chance to have a right of reply today – and I was told that my response was like a Trump supporter’s (important to note that this conversation had nothing to do with politics.) Since when is trying to see both sides and give someone the benefit of the doubt, and talk to them directly about your concerns, before trying to destroy their career an act akin to a “Trump Supporter”???

Ugh. I noped out of there real quick over that, after giving them a piece of my mind. Fucking low blow and clearly displayed a level of intolerance too often shown these days. Don’t agree with me? “Trump supporter!” or “Libtard!” or whatever is the opposite on the political spectrum said in the most derogatory fashion they can muster.

I don’t need that shit. I’m dealing with enough of my own.

Honestly, I love facebook – it allows me to stay connected with my friends worldwide as well as my family that is scattered everywhere. It allows me to keep up with main events in people’s lives and them in mine. Those that aren’t on facebook I have a hard time remembering what they know or don’t know when I periodically email… I know a lot of people hate facebook… but for this purpose it works quite well. But now I need to scale back. I’m not going on a deleting of friends spree or anything like that, but people are steadily being hidden from my newsfeed as I deem fit and most groups are going to be left.

I’ve found much more positivity here on WordPress anyway… even when our topics are not all that pleasant, there is in my experience a much better camaraderie and support system – much better and understanding conversations. Thank you all for being so awesome ๐Ÿ˜‰

Anyway, to finish on a more happy note… Some more of my favorite Mucha images, enjoy:





You may notice the similarities to my header image – I modeled that sketch after this one while doing a Mucha study ๐Ÿ™‚




13 thoughts on “Ignoring the Negativity”

  1. I think a few of us around here have the blues at the minute, I was blaming the time of year, role on some kind of sunshine!
    I too think here is a much better community than anywhere else online, you’ll always find someone who has been in a similar situation and there is constructive discussion and if not there is humour.
    And yes, 100% agree that respect is lacking in this world. I see it in work all the time and if makes me sad.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s been tough overall on me lately, but I definitely think the sads are coming mostly from the time of year at the moment. I’m not even feeling super SAD just overly fatigued which causes a depressive set of behaviours in me… but so far so good I’m otherwise remaining above board mentally… and my WordPress community has certainly been a big help in that regard!


      1. I get it. I’m finding it hard to climb back out of my funk. Bradley was feeling the same on his blog. I think in our house after my Mum passing we looked forward to Christmas and then when it’s over it’s like, feck no more holidays to look forward to for ages ffs lol

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I feel your feels; I remember the way I felt trying to get adjusted to living here in Oz and I also remember how awful I felt in the winter back in Colorado. I am struggling to combine them in my head. I also totes commiserate with your feelings on social media! I have found Instagram to be delightfully free of hate-spawning walls of text. Its interesting to me that globalization and such accessible social forums have not combined to create a human species that is more loving, compassionate, and understanding (respectful) of the myriad differences among us! Maybe that is in the cards, and we are just sitting through an awkward growing phase, pains and all. Sit it out, if you need to. Buy a UV lamp, if you need to. I am glad you are tuning in to your emotions and allowing them to be your guide. ๐Ÿ™‚ Also…I see your Alphonse Mucha and I raise you one Maxfield Parrish–another superb illustrator! I believe I have used his images in my blog at least once ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I may just invest in a UV lamp, when I had the SAD realisation today I figured I may need to get one… at least in Alice you have sun! All the freaking time!!! Though I’m glad to not be in that heat right now… I do like instagram too I just don’t get on it as much and there are so many repeat pictures from Facebook lol… Maxfield Parrish – I’ll look him up ๐Ÿ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I insta first; its the best ๐Ÿ˜‰ I need more folks to follow though…I’m happy for the sun too, and I am getting over missing winter this year. Looking forward to Oz winter, when it comes. Glad you are considering the light! โค

        Liked by 1 person

  3. I decided shortly after Brexit that I will not enter into another political debate on social media. If there’s a conversation and it turns in any way political, I shall gracefully bow out. I’ve also washed my hands of racism talk because I grow weary of this ideal that only a white person can apparently be racist on a Facebook post comment war I became embroiled in several weeks ago. I couldn’t give a shit what colour your skin is or what variant of “god” you choose to put your blind faith in; if you’re a cool person then I’m cool with you. If you’re a knob then fuck the fuck off! That’s not discrimination; that’s a person saying they’ve had enough of people who force their opinions on others and those who like to play the victim. Can’t be bothered with them!
    Having lived in a social media cesspit since 2007 when Facebook came along (for each thing it’s good for, there are ten things it’s bad for), WordPress has been a chance to breathe some e-fresh air. The people on here are the people I’ve wanted to come across my entire social networking life. People I can have a conversation with, will take my opinions on board and express their opinions in a diplomatic manner. It’s absolutely sublime compared to the chaotic shit going on over on all the popular sites. T4mk4t alluded to Instagram being a peaceful place, but even there you get people bickering and trolling. I’ve seen it and been a victim of it. WordPress is my social media utopia in a land that’s filled with misery, vanity and self-pity. And sycophancy as well. Noticed that shit has become very common. Thank fuck for WordPress! Thank fuck there are still some people with common sense and something interesting to say using the internet!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I agree wholeheartedly with you on every point here, Paul. I haven’t seen that dark side of instagram myself, but then again I’m not on it often… but I know such trolling and bickering etc is found everywhere if one looks hard enough. Sorry you’ve been a victim of it there… but I too have had a hugely positive experience on WordPress… the community we’ve forged here is amazing! ๐Ÿ˜Š


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