books, memoir, Uncategorized

A Shred of Support

I’m getting to the point in this blog that I’m not so sure what I have or have not talked about here anymore.

I was talking to my sister late a few nights ago and said “Clearly this will be my next blog topic,” but when I started to think about it I realized that… maybe? I’ve written about it here before?? I’m also too lazy to scan back through all my old posts to check.

So tell me if you’ve heard this one before.

My parents don’t read my shit. It’s kind of insulting to be honest. I know that my stuff isn’t of interest to everybody, and that’s fine, but the point is that they just don’t want to even try.

Let me explain some points that make it especially bothersome. My father used to write these stories and mail them out like a newsletter, often with a Christian focus. He mailed them out to all of his kids as well as any friends he assumed would like it. While it was not something that particularly interested me, I actually did make an effort to read them when they showed up… because it was from my dad.

But Dad has straight up said my blog/books don’t interest him so he never even looks at it. Apparently not even when I post children’s fiction through my facebook… Which I genuinely think he would like.

Mom came to visit a few years ago and I gave her a copy of my first book. She acted a little weird about it, saying that she didn’t want to find out if I blamed her for stuff – you know, like she expected the classic “it’s all my mom’s fault” commentary. I assured her that wasn’t the case.

Yet, my mother left it on the guest bed when she left. That’s some passive aggressive shit right there.

Originally I didn’t tell either of them about my writing, I was trying to stay anonymous from a whole subset of people, including my parents. There is still a level of anonymity I am trying to maintain, obviously. Yet, I accidentally didn’t cover the bases that would hide it from my godmother, who then mentioned it to one of my parents. Well shit.

I told them at the time I’d prefer them to not read it as it was embarrassing…. Later, after I was about to publish the second book, I let them know that they may not want to read that one… But I was less embarrassed if they wanted to read the first one.

For those of you that are unaware, the first book was a general autobiography. I talked about my childhood, my travels, my family traditions… a good overview of my life to that point. Even had an overarching theme/moral  that my religious father would have liked.

What I got instead was a lecture on why I would publish a book that must be heathen-istic  if I don’t even want my dad to read it. I was told I should be publishing Christian/wholesome things and not adding to the sin in the world or something. I’m paraphrasing, you get the gist.

No, Dad. I didn’t say you couldn’t read it or I specifically didn’t want you to read it. I said that it’s about my relationships and you, as my father, may just not care to know the details.

So I got a lecture from my father and a rejected copy left at my house from my mother.

It really sucks feeling like you don’t get support from the people in your personal life. It’s hard enough trying to get friends and acquaintances interested enough to like a post, let alone actually read it or share it. I’m a big believer in helping out your friends when you can – when they have businesses or particular ventures like books/blogs/vlogs/ photography instas etc etc…. there is hardly any effort to like and follow social media pages or share some posts for them.

Problem is not a lot of people feel that way. A lot of people don’t realize how important their support would be to their friends or family. They either don’t realize or just can’t be bothered. It would be nice if parents could at least support their kids this way.

Seriously, I don’t expect that any given person – even my immediate family – would want to read every single bit of writing I’ve done. But, again, seriously… a shred of support… the occasional checking in and reading a couple that catch their eye on Facebook… It would mean a lot.

Okay, enough whining for now. Though… the next series may just be dedicated to why my side of the family is not normal. All that may not be a good idea to air, even with my pseudonyms… so no promises… but maybe… LOL

 

6 thoughts on “A Shred of Support”

  1. My immediate family, for the most part, are not readers, least of all the non-fiction I write. I do have one exception in one of my sisters who is a librarian and loves to read. Though, to be honest, they all read my stuff and support my writing. They all push me to publish and frequently contact me about what I wrote to either say they enjoy it, hate it, or wonder what the hell I was thinking when I wrote it. They will read it because I wrote it and that’s it. I do understand that different families have different dynamics and that is a good thing, but support should be something you do whether or not you agree with someone. I am sorry that they do not support you and even more sorry that it upsets you so. You can’t do much about the first but you can about the second. Don’t worry about what you cannot change (and it could change on it’s own some day). You have an audience. They don’t even know you and they support you by reading. That’s got to count for something. Hope you have a good writing week! -Robert

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It really does help to know there are people who don’t even know me that are actually interested in my stuff… makes me feel somewhat legit! Though it does make me wonder why then certain people that not only know me, but are close to me, have no interest in even trying whatsoever. Sigh. I do have friends that like my writing alot so that does help too….

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  2. You know well my feelings regarding this subject. I’ve been fighting since day one to get support from people, but to no avail. I’ve given up trying. I just post stuff now and leave everyone to it. I don’t check stats or anything anymore.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I know… I know… I don’t check stats everyday. I still find them interesting to look at, but I don’t obsess. This was mainly a bitch post about my parents in particular. You’d just think out of everyone in your life, your parents would at least give a half assed effort to care… ya know?

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      1. You would, but I suppose it depends on the parent. My mum reads whatever she can of mine. My dad I’m not sure has read any. That’s fine. I can’t claim he’s unsupportive given all he’s done for me throughout life and continues to do. He’s always there for me and that’s good enough for me. Where your dad is concerned, however, in light of the fact he used to write himself, it’s perhaps ignorant of him not to at least attempt to read your work. The ‘purity’ angle seems like a lame excuse to me. And your mum leaving the book on the guest bed… yeah, that’d boil my piss too.

        Liked by 1 person

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