Eight Years ago or so I was a skinny minnie. Hell, you’ve seen my teenager pics… I was so much closer to my teen weight right after having my daughter. I was a size 14 immediately after having pushed her out whereas I had been a size 16-18 at the time of her conception.
Teenage me (girl on the right) vs 8 years ago me
Behold, me in a size 14 Antonio Melani suit that was actually slightly loose on me. Sigh. I still have that suit, and others in that general size in hopes that one day I will fit in them again.
How did I get thinner throughout my pregnancy so that even with the baby weight I was lighter than pre-pregnancy? Easy. I threw up every day for two trimesters (don’t recommend!) and all I craved was bananas and oranges. I’m talking I ate TONNES of bananas and oranges. Until the doc made me stop for gestational diabetes. Ugh.
I would buy 10 lbs of each fruit at a time and finish them off in two-three days max. It was literally all I ate most days.
One day, I was craving my last two oranges and as I reached in the bag for them, I found that my husband had used my orange peelers to perfectly peel the oranges, eat the insides, and fold the rinds back together and put them in the bag! Agh!
I just pulled my peelers and juicers out of the kitchen drawer… I don’t think I’ve even used them since I was pregnant… well, maybe once since?
So, why am I telling you all this today? Well, I’ve pulled the orange eating paraphernalia out because I am ashamed to say I am now a size 20-22…. I’m a tall girl, but damn! Even my husband was surprised when I told him what the scale actually reads when I’m on it! I am at my wits end with my ever increasing weight.
I am tired of trying to tell myself I can’t have things… For New Years and Lent I told myself to cut out sugar among other things. It didn’t work. I have poor self control these days when it comes to donut cravings and the like. (I also tend to forget what I’m doing after a little while and eat crap without thinking about it.)
OMG I’ve been wanting all the donuts and Salt & Vinegar chips this past month.
As you know, awhile back I was working out much more frequently than I ever had – I was building muscle, but my tummy fat wasn’t budging and I wasn’t losing any weight/inches. It was disheartening and it’s hard to keep going when something doesn’t seem to be working.
Post Workout Selfies… Carefully hiding my extra-tubby middle.
It’s also somewhat depressing to think about being this chubby when I go to Sweden this Summer. The BFFs have seen me on skype etc since …But I was still a cute, relatively thin, thing the last time they saw me in the flesh.
I started thinking about when I was pregnant and about when I was in High School I had a friend I lived with for a short time who had been on the chubby side… But while I was living with her she would stop at the grocers on the way to the train every morning and get a bag full of fruit – whatever was available/on sale/she felt like that day. She would eat only the fruit all day long, and then eat a normal healthy dinner when she got home in the evening. She lost a LOT of weight.
I started thinking about how much I had actually wanted the fruit and how much I want stuff that I can’t have but have to tell myself “No.”
So. Here’s my new plan. Wish me luck – and realize that I am not a certified nutritionist or anything like that! I am going to focus on what I CAN have. I’ll be doing something similar to what my friend did in high school and see if it works for my now middle-aged body. I’ll be allowing myself eggs at breakfast (because of protein and tummy filling) and then focus on eating only fresh fruit (and veggies as I’m inclined) during the day. I will drink only water or tea during the day. Then in the evening I can eat pretty much whatever I want – with in reason of course. If I decide to eat something on the fattier side, I’ll make sure it’s a smaller portion than I would usually have. This will also be the time I will make sure I am consuming things otherwise missing from my diet – grains, dairy etc.
Welp. Wish me luck you guys. I’ll need it.