It’s been awhile since I’ve written about anything related to relationships and/or the memories thereof. So, I thought perhaps I’d bring up that topic again. I had a few ideas over the weekend, of particular memories to tell you all… but, alas, I was negligent in writing them down and I have since forgotten. Geez, Emma, you know yourself better than that! Always. Put. It. In. Your. Memos. LOL
Oh well, I’ve got one topic to write about for the moment. May not have been the best of the otherwise forgotten ideas, but, meh? What can you really expect of me at this point, people? You know what a forgetful slacker I am by now – at least those of you that have been following me for awhile.
So let me tell you about the very, very first “boyfriend.” I’ve never written about him on this site. We’ll call him Ben. I doubt it would be an issue if I used his real name. Who the fuck would have any clue who he is anyway? However, we’ve got tradition to keep on this blog. If you don’t have tradition, what do you have? Don’t answer that. I don’t wish to discuss that… I just wanna talk about cute boys here you guys!
I’ll actually mention the first four boys I “dated.” You’ll see why I put “boyfriend” and “dated” in quotes shortly.
I ran into Ben awhile back for a brief period. I didn’t recognize him for who he was to me at the time. For all I knew I was meeting a new person. A friend of a friend, an acquaintance around town. It took him a short while, but he was the one to suddenly recognize me first.
He asked me if I was “Emma’s Maiden Name” …I was like… … … “Uh, yeah…” This is when he informed me that he knew me when we were kids, around 6th/7th grade. He then wouldn’t explain to me who he was. He was hoping I’d remember him on my own apparently.
Ok, you guys. Clearly I have a pretty good memory. I’ve been told on occasion that it’s impressive… It’s really not, I know there is plenty I don’t remember.
Ben was one of those things I just couldn’t recall on my own.
“I dunno, Ben… You were probably one of those mean boys from school.”
“No… Well… Yeah, Maybe I was… But you’ll remember more.”
No… I didn’t remember more. So a day or two later he informed me that I was in fact a snob for not remembering my first boyfriend.
OMG, are you serious? LOL
“Psshh, in 6th grade? You were just a practice boyfriend if anything then, Ben.”
“Nah, but we were really serious about it at the time.”
He went on to prompt my memory about how he was new to our school that year and how I was really nice to him and made him feel welcome etc etc. Then, though one of our parents’ was super strict and didn’t allow dating at that age – he was pretty sure it was his. (I mean, honestly… I doubt either of our families ‘allowed’ dating, but it seems to be more the level of how much of a freak-out there would have been based on our apparent puppy love.) So, we proceeded to have a secret relationship for… Oh shoot… now I can’t remember… I think he said three months or so. See? The details still haven’t come back all on their own to me – though I do vaguely recall it now.
Eventually, said freak out happened and he was forced to break up with me. In what I assume was an effort to make it as completely severed as possible, and/or save feelings as best as a 6th grader can, he basically was really horrible to me and made me turn to hating him.
Through 7th grade, we fought. My friends would fight with him and his friends as well… So yeah, he was one of those “mean boys.”
I later realized I had a couple of pictures from school with he and I standing next to each other – he was a pretty cute kid, I can see why I liked him LOL.
What I find as odd, though is that I recall three other boys around this age/time period that I always considered practice boyfriends. I know you’ve see me refer to Wyatt as my first real boyfriend – that is why, the few boys I “dated” before him – though it felt more serious at the time – I came to recognize as youthful playing at relationships. We were on the cusp, just becoming interested in the opposite sex.
For real though, Ben and I never even kissed. At the most we might have held hands in secret.
After Ben, but before Wyatt. I also agreed to be a boy named Josh’s girlfriend. He was my next door neighbor. Well, we shared a back fence, and would stand on our respective trampolines to talk to each other over the fence.
Honestly, I think *maybe* Josh was my first kiss, though I can’t be positive…. (As you can see from the hyperlink.) I seem to remember maybe him stealing a kiss or two over the fence, as I stood barefoot on my trampoline, still in my warm-weather school uniform, and he in his ball cap.
For a short time after all that, I actually went out a couple of times with a boy from my church youth group called Neil. I recall going to the movies with him – my first “real” date. As in – me, alone, with a boy who supposedly was in mutual-like with me LOL. Unfortunately, I don’t recall what movie exactly it was.
It didn’t last long with Neil, however. I heard on the bus that he was “dating” another girl from his school. OMG, Neil, how could you do such a thing to 12 year old Emma??!! I had to hear that you were “cheating” through the middle school grapevine… SMH.
It was upsetting at the time, I’m not gonna downplay the feelings themselves… But I did get over him pretty quickly. I was more annoyed than devastated, I’d say… Now that I am 35, however… I dunno… I just find it amusing that it was considered “cheating” in our world. We didn’t yet know what that really was, let alone what real romantic relationships would morph to be as we got older.
But we had such intense drama, I tell ya what! Haha
Later that year, I dated my youth pastor’s son, Zack. Honestly… I still forget about him all the dang time, so I dunno why Ben would be offended I couldn’t remember him off hand from like a year and a half prior, haha. Zack was too sheltered for even me. I think I might have been his first girlfriend, first practice girlfriend even. He was a little older than me, but I feel like I at least had an idea of what being a couple meant. …Mind you, I knew even then I was no expert. But if you’re gonna ask a girl to be your girlfriend, you’d think you should maybe… I dunno… call her once in awhile? Actually want to hang out with her sometimes? I mean, come on dude. No wonder the three weeks or whatever it was we had together were so forgettable.
On that note… Ok, actually, Ben. I apologize for not remembering you and our “relationship.”
Post Script – Too be fair to the youngins out there – or hell, even youngin-Emma and Ben etc…. quotation marks aside, I do consider such situations as actual relationships. They are no doubt “practice” relationships at that age, though. They feel very serious at the time, but as we grow we see that we really were in our first inter-personal relationships and we really needed that time in our life to learn how to start navigating and handling our feelings and sharing that with a romantic partner, as well as figure out what we truly want or don’t want in a partner.
Though I clearly have had some not-ideal relationships, even as a teen, I am a big believer in teen dating because I think it is so important to get those experiences and not necessarily settle for the first person you think you are in love with – even if that happens when you are much older.