anxiety, David, memories, relationships, teenage years, Uncategorized, Wyatt

Freaking Frigid – A Memory

It came back to me today, a memory I’d like to say was vague – as I hadn’t thought about it for a very long time. But it’s not, not vague at all. I’ve been having these snippets pop up in my mind here and there, seemingly randomly over the past few weeks. I’m not entirely sure why, except perhaps I’m under a lot of stress? Who knows. I’m taking my meds, including the prazosin for my dreams, but these memories and dreams are still peeking through. Some are of David, sure, but far more are of Wyatt.

Today’s was a Wyatt memory. 

I honestly think I haven’t told you all this story before, but you know… the blog has been around for enough years that I’m not really sure. I don’t THINK I put it in the book either, but hey, if it’s a repeat you’ll just have to forgive me or, hell, you can stop reading I suppose. 

So, picture this: 

Emma, she must have been 14 years old. She started dating Wyatt at the tender age of 13, sometime around late November or early December of that year and this memory is from late-Autumn. She wasn’t this deep in with Wyatt that early, so we’ll assume it was a year or so into the relationship.

I’m having some real anxiety right now, if I’m honest. I’m second thinking telling you all this. Then again, I’ve written much worse – much more intimate memories about him before, so…

Emma was 14 years old, she was tall and thin – with thick, long, strawberry blonde hair – all the way down to her butt. She looked older than she was, at least that’s what she was told and believed. At 12 she was mistaken for a 16 year old, that along with her parents always praising her for her “maturity” probably added to her misconception that she was old enough to handle a boyfriend that was two years older than herself, let alone old enough and mature enough to be doing the things he asked of her.

This is how she found herself nude, laying on a thin blanket to protect her pale skin from the crunchy leaves and sticks beneath her one frigid late-autumn day in the Shenandoah mountains.

It didn’t seem odd to her that Wyatt was not undressed like herself. He promised to keep her warm, as she slowly took off her clothing and shivered. He framed the encounter as romantic. Though he supposedly was trying to keep her warm by running his hands over her body, it wasn’t really working as at the same time he was untying her lace panties and pouring honey over certain, favorite, parts of her body.

It’s probably not necessary to tell you what he did with the honey after it was in place – nevertheless it made her even colder. He made grand promises about when he would marry her – they talked about a winter wedding. It sounded lovely, but also made her shiver all the more at the thought of it.

It got to the point at which they had to return, lest his parents miss them. So he bit her chest, as he did every time, leaving fresh golf-ball sized bruises over the old faded ones, and told her to get dressed again. He seemed it fit to say he didn’t like using honey as much as he thought he would.

They walked back to his house, and once there, his father asked where they had been – he had sent Wyatt’s younger brothers out to find them for lunch. Emma’s heart jumped and she shared a scared look with Wyatt.

“We went up to the ridge,” Wyatt said after a beat. “I wanted to show Emma the view.”

Luckily, his brothers said they had gone the opposite direction and his father was satisfied with the answer. He said something to the effect that it was a breathtaking sight that time of year.

Personally, Emma would have preferred to have gone to see that view. She never did get the chance.

So, stress? The fact that it’s freaking frigid where I live right now (it’s already snowed three times this season.) Who knows, but this memory is what popped into my mind today… And I’ve been neglecting this blog too much lately with all my busy-ness, so…

With that said, I’ve noted that my stats are staying pretty steady – even spiking once in awhile – though I haven’t been writing as much lately, so I just want to say THANK YOU ALL, whoever you are that comes on over to my little corner of the internet and reads what I have to say… I really appreciate it 🙂 


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