I made a discovery while talking to my therapist yesterday. I suppose I just hadn't thought about it before as both topics are separate in my head for the most part. But yesterday, we as we were working on trauma response, as we transitioned from talking about specific memories of Wyatt to specific memories of… Continue reading Somatic Symptoms and Problematic Memories
A few days ago I was listening to a podcast, as I am wont to do almost any moment during my free time these days, and the guest struck a particular cord with me this time. She was a 90s girl at heart, she told Dax Shepard on his podcast "Armchair Expert" (August 12, 2019… Continue reading 90s Girl at Heart
It's been awhile since I've written about anything related to relationships and/or the memories thereof. So, I thought perhaps I'd bring up that topic again. I had a few ideas over the weekend, of particular memories to tell you all... but, alas, I was negligent in writing them down and I have since forgotten. Geez,… Continue reading OMG, Neil, How Could You Do Such A Thing?
What makes him love me? What made the others not really care about me? Sometimes I think I'm pretty good at reading people, situations, and relationships... When I pay attention that is. At least I used to think that. Over the past year or so, maybe it's been brewing longer... I've realized I often don't… Continue reading Maybe There’s Hope for Me Yet
Two days until October, and you know what that means! No, no... well... yes, Halloween; but that's not what I'm here to talk about this evening. It was brought to my attention today that here in America, October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. One of the other blogs I follow (When I Thought I was… Continue reading Domestic Violence Awareness Month
The kid was adorable, if I must admit. I call him a kid because he was a year and a half plus a day younger than I and as teenagers that gap felt enormous. As if that whole extra year and a day really made a difference - I had dated Andre earlier in the… Continue reading Melodic Memories
I pulled into Zinger Coffee & Tea's drive through just as Bachelor Girl's song "Buses and Trains" started coming through my speakers. It had been a long time since I'd listened to that song. I liked it as a teen, but hadn't really thought much about the song as a whole. But as I grabbed… Continue reading Hey Mum
In the car today, I introduced my children to some of my fave Broadway songs - which included a handful from both Grease and Grease 2. I told my 5 year old son that Grease Lightning is about a car, which peaked his interest naturally... and when they sang "The chicks'll cream for Grease Lightning,"… Continue reading There Are Worse Things I Could Do
Oh my goodness you guys, I completely forgot about something. I was going back through old messages between myself and Maja trying to find some particulars we discussed about a memory I was planning to write for you today (still will do if I am able to construct it in time) and I came across… Continue reading When one has a boyfriend…
...All around "fuck!" I'm feeling much better about the Wyatt issue from the past two posts... buuut... I've got two things to bitch about and then I promise, off of the downer posts again for a little while. First, ok, get this: when I saw Wyatt has two facebook accounts the other day, I noticed… Continue reading Fuck, man (or “my feelings taste like donuts”)
I've mentioned before that I have a keepsake from Wyatt that I have never been able to let go of, even in about 20 years. It is a small glass jug filled with purple glitter from the ren faire.... I never have mentioned, though, that the jug is not the only thing I still have.… Continue reading Not Ever Going To Leave
Yesterday morning I got a facebook memory notification that brought up a status in which Wyatt had commented when we were briefly in touch again 6 years ago. Fuck, but I hate memory notifications sometimes. I let my curiosity get the best of me, and I tapped his name so his profile popped up. I… Continue reading Resisting the Urge to Apologise
"That's awful," people often say to me. I tend to shrug my shoulders. I hadn't been looking for sympathy or anything by telling them one of my stories... or posting it online so that they comment digitally on the distressing aspects of a story. I don't tell these stories for sympathy. I've moved past a… Continue reading A Thousand Times More Disturbing
I have a new friend you guise. Another American that recently moved here, and we have so much in common, it seems. I went to her house yesterday for an Art date (Just sit around and chat while being creative - it's been a good 7ish years since I've had a friend to do that… Continue reading Intense As…
When I was 25, later in the year after shit went down with David and then Dane and they were gone - I had one of my good friends invite me over to meet her new boyfriend. I had told her I wasn't feeling well (turns out I was pregnant with my first child, but… Continue reading Come on, dude. WTF?
A friend posted something on Facebook about a new NOFX album. Well, Fuck, if that didn’t take me back. Imagine, if you will, skinny-minnie Emma in her green corduroy skate pants, or perhaps some baggy jeans with ripped up seams where the bottoms had been walked on beneath the heels of her Airwalks or Vans… Continue reading Voice as Sweet as Salt
Earlier this week I wrote about a trigger I had when I came across someone that mentioned Joshua Harris' 1997 book "I Kissed Dating Goodbye." Today I got a comment from Kristen over at The Ungodly Woman who let me know that Mr Harris has started apologizing to people for the negative effects of his… Continue reading Dear Mr Harris
Who remembers that book "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" by Josh Harris? Ah, that's right... now I can tell which of you grew up in the evangelical youth culture. I just read a blog that mentioned that book, and man it took me back... It took me back to the evangelical days of my youth in which… Continue reading Fuck it, I dated
I feel like I'm missing out on something. I'm missing out on an important piece of nostalgia... I've tried to remember a few times, but it doesn't come to anything. A few days ago as I was driving my car, I had one of my youth girls in the passenger seat and she put in… Continue reading First Kisses, what am I missing?
I just picked up Amy Schumer's book "The Girl with the Lower Back Tattoo." I came across it yesterday at our local Kmart, I reached out and picked it up without a second thought. Not even considering the price as I would usually do. That's because I've long considered her my spirit animal - a… Continue reading Dissociation and Flippancy