Best Friends, Dane, David, relationships

You and Me, Emma

Dane and I are talking again... To an extent. For those of you that have followed me for the past several years, I'm sure you are sighing and rolling your eyes at this point. "What the fuck, Emma," I hear you mutter under your breath. "Just walk away and for fucks' sake stay away." Ok,… Continue reading You and Me, Emma

Dan, Dane, David, Husband, Jimmy, Sven, Viktor, Wyatt

I Was A Slut For Sleeping With Him

Write it down, I'm told. Anything you can remember, just write it down. The thing is you want me to remember, to recall events, to be able to tell you about them - but you fail to understand that these particulars, the particulars I am ashamed of, were not that important to me. Not in… Continue reading I Was A Slut For Sleeping With Him

Best Friends, Dane, Uncategorized

Light at the End of The Tunnel

I've been ridiculously busy. I know, I know... That's been my excuse every time I leave y'all hanging. But I'm back, for a moment, while I waste my energy on laundry and not on my studies... Last semester and it's all a bit overwhelming to be honest, but I'm staying positive - because I can… Continue reading Light at the End of The Tunnel

anxiety, Best Friends, Dane, Maja, svea, Uncategorized

Being a Nothing-of-Consequence

My anxiety is rising. I was in a good mood earlier today, and I plan on feeling okay tomorrow... The thing is that as the holiday season starts, I am catching ripples of anxiety - like waves of salt hitting my face, suddenly so that I don't have time to close my mouth. I sputter… Continue reading Being a Nothing-of-Consequence

Best Friends, Dane, Uncategorized

Unfortunately Irritating

I had a post pop up yesterday in my Facebook memories from years ago... A post that one of Dane's exes had written to me, after she had moved on and married someone else that is. It was a generic catch-up conversation, in which she noted she hadn't really spoken to Dane in awhile -… Continue reading Unfortunately Irritating

anxiety, Dane, David, depression, relationships, Uncategorized, Wyatt

Take My Prazosin And Hope David Stays Out Of My Dreams

Honestly, I don't know if I have anything interesting to spew at the moment. I just felt like getting back to the root of my blog/writing career for a minute - I felt like writing without a purpose to see what would emerge. I hope to clarify my inner self, to figure out why I… Continue reading Take My Prazosin And Hope David Stays Out Of My Dreams

Best Friends, Dane, David, depression, relationships, Uncategorized

Smoldering Bridge

Dane unfriended me on Facebook. I told you that. He inferred I was disposable and it seemed he'd rather keep David in the FB friendship circle. Ok, fine then. I accepted that, though it hurt initially. The thing is, even after pushing me away so hard; trying his damnedest to put distance between us and… Continue reading Smoldering Bridge

anxiety, Best Friends, Dane, David, depression, relationships, support, Uncategorized

Being Disposable

I've discovered something definitive about my friendship with Dane this week. Well, ex-friendship at this point. I have become disposable to him. I'm not sure when exactly it happened, sometime over the last two years since I moved back to the USA. Up until that point... the last time I had talked to him while… Continue reading Being Disposable

Best Friends, Dane, David, depression, memories, relationships, Uncategorized

A Twinge of Betrayal

Had a revelation today. A potentially awful revelation. Dane and David are back in contact, via Facebook, if nothing else. I don't know how long they've been in touch. As far as I can tell it'll have been less than a few months since they reconnected on FB... but I don't really know. I sent… Continue reading A Twinge of Betrayal

Best Friends, Dane, Uncategorized

It was good to hear him laugh

Absence makes the heart grow fonder, I hope. Apologies that I've been MIA somewhat again. I started a new position in which I am training Full Time at a facility that's an hour away from my home at the moment. Will continue to do so for another two or three weeks before going to the… Continue reading It was good to hear him laugh

Adventures in Dating, Best Friends, Dan, Dane, Husband, relationships, Uncategorized, Wyatt

Maybe There’s Hope for Me Yet

What makes him love me? What made the others not really care about me? Sometimes I think I'm pretty good at reading people, situations, and relationships... When I pay attention that is. At least I used to think that. Over the past year or so, maybe it's been brewing longer... I've realized I often don't… Continue reading Maybe There’s Hope for Me Yet

Best Friends, Dane, depression, relationships, Uncategorized

Until then… Bye Dane.

I let a friendship go today. Not just any friendship, a best-friendship. Something I've been mulling over for a while now, and while I was sitting in church this morning; likely listening to a very similar sermon to what he'd be listening to, I knew I just needed to rip the bandage off and get… Continue reading Until then… Bye Dane.

Best Friends, Dane, David, Husband, memories, relationships, Uncategorized

The Story of: A Full Force Whirlwind of Terrifying ClusterF**K

I summarized my dealings with David in one main sentence "A Full force whirlwind of terrifying clusterfuck," in my last post. Though I've written parts of the story here and there on the blog and my older readers pretty much know the details, I figured I would rehash the story a little in these last… Continue reading The Story of: A Full Force Whirlwind of Terrifying ClusterF**K

books, Dane, Husband, travel

Hitchhiker’s Guide to… not losing your freaking mind

The thing about ridiculously long road trips - which I suppose are not really all that ridiculous, but increasingly feel ridiculous as the trip wears on - is that the driver inevitably needs something to divert her attention just enough as to not cause insanity to set in while at the same time not so… Continue reading Hitchhiker’s Guide to… not losing your freaking mind

Best Friends, Dane, Uncategorized

“We are the Loudest Tooth Fairy”

I have gleaned permission from Dane to share with you a text conversation we had around midnight last night. I thought perhaps you guys would find it as amusing as I did. I'm tempted to just post screenshots with his real name blotted out... but that smacks of cheating on a writing blog... LOL Though… Continue reading “We are the Loudest Tooth Fairy”

Best Friends, Dane, Justin, Maja, memories, nostalgia, Uncategorized, youth

The Grand Scheme of Things

In a few weeks I turn 34. Logically I know that is not all that old.... But maybe it's Karma because I called Justin "old" when he turned 34 yesterday - same as Dane when he turned 34 in October. But now... Siiiiggghhh... I'm starting to feel old myself. Really, it's not so much a… Continue reading The Grand Scheme of Things

Best Friends, Best of, Dane, David, Maja, relationships, svea, Uncategorized

Well, Hello Sailor

The problem with asking your best friends for ideas for your blog is that they will invariably bring up that they still laugh when you write BJJ - for it's resemblance to the acronym "BJ" - and then suggest that that you write something vulgar. Well, that's my best friends for you anyway. So, no,… Continue reading Well, Hello Sailor

Andre, Best Friends, Dan, Dane, David, Husband, Justin, memoir, memories, nostalgia, relationships, Sven, teenage years, Uncategorized, Viktor, Wyatt

Taylor Swift Gets Me : Reprise

While we’re on the topic of Taylor Swift, I went back and perused my posts from February 2015 – when I started this blog – and came across one of the first posts I had written that was also a I-have-a-girl-crush-on-Taylor kind of post. What I had done is compiled and mashed up several of… Continue reading Taylor Swift Gets Me : Reprise

Adventures in Dating, Best Friends, Dane, relationships, Uncategorized

Seriously. Stop it.

I have a pet peeve... not so much a pet peeve I suppose; more something that initially annoys me and then makes me feel sorry for people - in the end not affecting my personal feelings terribly much. But as I write about relationships sometimes - and have so far become that person for several… Continue reading Seriously. Stop it.

Best Friends, Dane, Excerise, Uncategorized

Hanging with the boys

Ha. Coach read my last post and made a comment to me about having made the right decision to have a woman take over running the female-only class – because he can’t /doesn’t want to be involved with girl talk. LOL I told him if he needs to cover the class another time I promised… Continue reading Hanging with the boys