MIA, Medication, and Making Money!

Gosh, I feel like I’ve been MIA again… I suppose I have been, particularly given that my kids have been ill since Friday. They’ve been in high enough spirits and feeling over all well enough… But they are contagious and not allowed to go to school until we can procure the medication – which has been a nightmare so far.

The original prescription was sent off on Friday. I was told then that it had to be ordered and would be available Monday… On Monday I was told it was delayed and they couldn’t get the whole thing filled… AND that with my insurance it would be $300. I called around to all other pharmacies – same story, no one in town or the next town over had it nor could they easily get the full amount needed.

So I had to call the clinic to discuss with them and they were able to figure out a different (and thank goodness generic) medication… side note: who in their right mind ever prescribes meds that aren’t available in generic anymore?? – eff you Friday doctor. That nurse also found a pharmacy in town that could fill it by this afternoon. Crossing fingers there are no more hiccups because I really need these kids back in school!

In no small part due to the fact that I have my first day at my new job tomorrow! Hubby said if need be he’ll take the day off so I don’t screw up the very first day! However, he is also really busy this week so that would be far from ideal.

So anyway… Yay! I found what seems to be a perfect fit job-wise. I interviewed two weeks ago and the next day I had the offer. They were very enthusiastic so that was nice – nice to feel wanted! They wanted to offer me the Part Time position that had more hours, but gave me my choice as they had another position with less hours… I chose the one with less hours. Really, I am just wanting to make a little extra money and get out of the house a bit… keep up some skills while I wait for nursing school to start back up again. Minimal stress, but the ability to pick up extra hours if I want to. I also got offered more money than I expected so… Bonus! Woo!

I’ll be working at a Rehabilitation and Nursing home – apparently (so I’ve heard since taking the position) the best facility of it’s kind to work for in the area… so, another Yay! LOL

I can’t wait to get out of the house tomorrow for orientation… I have been scrubbing this house clean since Saturday – most of the work being done Sat/Sun – and then chasing the kids to keep things clean which of course has been difficult. I still have a big pile of laundry I’m trudging through though…. uuuggghhh…. and, well… I best get back to that I suppose.

ETA: FUCK! Generic is no longer available still out of pocket $300 😦

Down in the dumps

I lack motivation. For anything.

I am trying to enjoy my last bit of time here in Australia… because the chances of ending up here a third time are even more remote than the chance I’d end up here a second time.

It’s hard though… Because I’m stressed about the sudden move. My house seems to get increasingly chaotic the more I clean up and it’s driving me nuts. At least this is forcing me to do a good spring clean and get rid of stuff… My daughter is increasingly realizing the impact this move will have on her and her friendships… She sobbed on the way home one day last week. This morning she walked into school looking very dejected… and there’s nothing I can do about it.

I thought I’d have more time to enjoy my life here. More time to do all the “I do that eventually” things.. For the last three and a half years I kept meaning to go back to my old school – St Philips College – to have a look around. Be nostalgic, see what’s changed. Now I doubt I’ll get that chance in the coming days. I’ve missed all the annual open house days they hold for prospective students and parents… I could have slipped in then… or gone for one of their plays. …I kept meaning too…

I did finally go into Desert Wave in the Alice Springs Plaza and buy a Billabong wallet. In 1994 or 1995 I bought my very first wallet in the very same plaza. It was at Desert Wave – or whatever the surf shop was called at the time – and it was a blue Billabong corduroy trifold velcro wallet. I kept meaning to eventually get another one as similar as I could for nostalgia’s sake… but never got around to it. They only had one that was a trifold. Corduroy no longer a style option. A Billabong patch sewn on instead of an embroidered logo…. But I got it for nostalgia’s sake; my last chance to do such a thing. While I was in the plaza that day, the overhead music started playing “Turnaround”… a song I first heard here around 7th grade. I clearly remember that song playing at the 7th grade orientation social at St Philips College… So I must have been still in 6th grade actually…

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I finally bought a couple small aboriginal paintings I liked… kept putting it off not wanting to spend the money just yet, but planning to eventually get something someday. Someday just came sooner than I planned. I do really like what I got… but would have been nice to be able to afford some of the bigger ones I had eyed, or have the chance to create a little bit more of a collection.

 

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I wanted to catch up with some older friends I hadn’t gotten the chance to hang out with really. I wanted to take my kids out on the Ghan like I did when I was younger… I wanted to go back out to Ross River. …At least my kids got to do that with my husband last year… I wanted to put my son in Scouts here and give my daughter more time in Girl Guides… as well as have them join St John Cadets when they got older.

I secretly hoped that I’d be able to enrol my daughter in St Philips College herself, though I knew it wasn’t likely we’d stay quite that long…

I thought I’d at least have more time to catch up with all my friends one last or a couple last times before eventually moving away. I just don’t understand why my plans, especially major life plans, seem to always get derailed.

Man, I’m down in the dumps.

The Scandal of it all

I struggle between wanting to be the open and honest mother  – no pussy footing around – that I would like to be with my children vs wanting to shield them from the scary truths.

I don’t want my kids to be overly sheltered … I also don’t want to fade out as a person simply because I am somebody’s mother.

But now the thought occurs to me … the thought of my children finding out my innermost thoughts and feelings – that I have written down primarily for them – Well… Goddamn. The Scandal. The Shock. The fact that their mother had other lovers than their father – in and out of that relationship.

The Shock, the appall, I would feel now if I read these same kinds of things about my own mother.

But then.

I wonder.

Is it so bad, really?

To find that their mother had an affair before they were born. To find that she dealt with some tumultuous relationships. To find that she had sex before she even wanted to get married.

For crying out loud, she isn’t a saint!

The Scandal that she could be a real person. The Scandal that she had or may yet have feelings for other men.

I wonder sometimes too if my husband, their father, has ever had hidden feelings for another woman. Perhaps I wouldn’t then hold on to my own guilt anymore.

But my husband never would admit that if he did. Sure, he’ll say other women are attractive – but even his exes from before our relationship are mostly a mystery to me.

I want my kids to know my stories by the time they are teenagers. I want to be open. I want them to know I’m willing to talk objectively about their relationships and that I might just understand.

I see a future argument in the making. My husband is a lot more conservative than I am. He won’t want his kids to know his wife cheated on him at the very least.

Even after eight years since David, he still doesn’t want his family or friends to know about my writing for fear of the scandal… Oh, The Scandal…

Eeek! A mouse!

I have been super busy the past few days… an issue kind of blew up at work so I haven’t had much time to write the quality post I was promising. I do have a short story to tell you, however. This incident happened two nights ago.

I was sleeping soundly when all of a sudden at just after 3 AM my husband sat up in bed and said “Rachel! Get up!” He then turned on the light and was looking around the bed and under my pillows etc. Then he said he had been laying with his blanket over his head, as usual, when he felt a mouse run across his head, over the blanket. He then proceeded to get up and go put some mouse traps around the bed.

The story I told the kids last night, however; was this:

“Guess what happened last night, kids!”

“What? What?” They clamored at me.

“Last night a MOUSE ran across Daddy’s FACE!”

The kids started giggling.

“Then Daddy got up and jumped up and down on the bed and said ‘EEEEeeeeeeeeeek!!! A Mouse on my FACE! Save me, save me!'” Using my best high pitched imitation.

Grinning wide my three year old said “Daddy screamed!!” and then both of them started laughing again.

My husband then said, referring to my three year old, “At least he apparently thinks screaming is for scaring them away… not because I’m scared of them!” (Then told me a story about last week when he saw a bird in the hardware store and my son had told my husband “There’s a bird, Daddy. I’m gonna scream at it go away… AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”)