David, memories, relationships, Uncategorized, Wyatt

Not When He’s Smiling

"He doesn't look abusive," she said when I showed her a picture of my ex. "No, I suppose he doesn't," I responded. Thinking to myself at least not when he's smiling... if he was screaming in her face, she wouldn't think that. It was always fun with him around, until it wasn't. He was always… Continue reading Not When He’s Smiling

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Best Friends, Dane, David, depression, memories, relationships, Uncategorized

A Twinge of Betrayal

Had a revelation today. A potentially awful revelation. Dane and David are back in contact, via Facebook, if nothing else. I don't know how long they've been in touch. As far as I can tell it'll have been less than a few months since they reconnected on FB... but I don't really know. I sent… Continue reading A Twinge of Betrayal

David, Husband, relationships, Uncategorized, Wyatt

My Idiosyncrasies

Get ready for a ramble fest y'all. Last night hubs said something that made me think... I have been blaming Wyatt for instilling a lot of negative relationship behaviours in me... and to an extent I think that's still true, but perhaps I've been bred to be ... How did he put it? ... I… Continue reading My Idiosyncrasies

David, depression, memories, Movies / TV / Netflix, relationships, Timmy, Uncategorized, Wyatt

Glad You Didn’t Die, I Guess

**Fair warning, it's a swearing kinda day** 51 weeks ago, exactly, I wrote about Valentines Day Vs St Patrick's day as a half assed effort to refocus myself from the Lenten/St Patrick's season that I usually become depressed in. This year, however, Valentines day legit starts the actual season of Lent. Ash Wednesday and St… Continue reading Glad You Didn’t Die, I Guess

David, Excerise, memories, relationships, Uncategorized

Far Away From My Corporeal Body

I had another dream about David on Christmas Eve. Unexpected, it's been several months if not longer since I've had one of those. I'm not sure if something actually triggered it, or if it was just my brain saying "hey,  guess what we haven't dreamt about in awhile?" Whenever I have these dreams, they always… Continue reading Far Away From My Corporeal Body

Adventures in Dating, Best Friends, Dan, Dane, Husband, relationships, Uncategorized, Wyatt

Maybe There’s Hope for Me Yet

What makes him love me? What made the others not really care about me? Sometimes I think I'm pretty good at reading people, situations, and relationships... When I pay attention that is. At least I used to think that. Over the past year or so, maybe it's been brewing longer... I've realized I often don't… Continue reading Maybe There’s Hope for Me Yet

Best Friends, Dane, depression, relationships, Uncategorized

Until then… Bye Dane.

I let a friendship go today. Not just any friendship, a best-friendship. Something I've been mulling over for a while now, and while I was sitting in church this morning; likely listening to a very similar sermon to what he'd be listening to, I knew I just needed to rip the bandage off and get… Continue reading Until then… Bye Dane.

Movies / TV / Netflix, Posts With Off Site Links, relationships, Uncategorized

Catherine, you poor pigeon!

This may seem like a break from my usual programming... But I promise, by the end you'll see why I decided to write about this here 😉 It may not be clear to you from my blog, but I have a fascination with the Tudors. For many years I have been interested in the delicate… Continue reading Catherine, you poor pigeon!

Best Friends, Dane, David, Husband, memories, relationships, Uncategorized

The Story of: A Full Force Whirlwind of Terrifying ClusterF**K

I summarized my dealings with David in one main sentence "A Full force whirlwind of terrifying clusterfuck," in my last post. Though I've written parts of the story here and there on the blog and my older readers pretty much know the details, I figured I would rehash the story a little in these last… Continue reading The Story of: A Full Force Whirlwind of Terrifying ClusterF**K

David, depression, memoir, memories, relationships, Uncategorized, Wyatt

A Full Force Whirlwind of Terrifying Clusterf**k

Is there anything new to say? No, I don't really think so. The stories are all in the past; they aren't currently happening. No fresh material to be had. I can't say I'm sorry about that. There's a sense of relief, actually, when I think about that. Though it's all in the past, it is… Continue reading A Full Force Whirlwind of Terrifying Clusterf**k

David, memories, relationships, Timmy, Uncategorized, Wyatt

Hashtag MeToo

I've said it many times before. Share your stories, make others aware of the prevalence of the many liberties taken with women without their consent. The first step in changing the rape culture in our society. Now there is a social media trend asking women (and even men!) to make their statuses say "Me Too"… Continue reading Hashtag MeToo

David, relationships, Uncategorized, Wyatt

God, just move on already, Emma!

I've been sitting here for an hour, one sentence written - since deleted. I've had this vague sense of what I would write about, but it's hard to express the swirling thoughts about it in my head. I've had the passing thought about the topic for a few days, and then today I stumbled upon… Continue reading God, just move on already, Emma!

relationships, support, Uncategorized

He Out Weighed Me by at Least 100 Lbs

Today, in honor of Domestic Violence Awareness Month, I am sharing an old friend's abuse story, these are her words as she shared them with me. Her identity is purposely withheld. People seem to think if someone abuses you then that must have been that way your whole relationship, when usually that’s not the case.… Continue reading He Out Weighed Me by at Least 100 Lbs

David, relationships, Uncategorized, Wyatt

It Ceases To Surprise Me

In honor of Domestic Violence Awareness Month, which starts this weekend, I did a poll on my facebook to gauge how many of my facebook friends had been assaulted or experienced domestic violence/abuse. The majority that answered were not cases I already knew about, so you'd think that would be surprising. Perhaps I have become… Continue reading It Ceases To Surprise Me

Adventures in Dating, David, Husband, Posts With Off Site Links, relationships, support, Uncategorized, Wyatt

Domestic Violence Awareness Month

Two days until October, and you know what that means! No, no... well... yes, Halloween; but that's not what I'm here to talk about this evening. It was brought to my attention today that here in America, October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. One of the other blogs I follow (When I Thought I was… Continue reading Domestic Violence Awareness Month

Husband, kids, Movies / TV / Netflix, relationships, teenage years, Uncategorized

Danish Hygge Vs Swedish Mysa

It’s become popular in the English-speaking world to reference the Danish word “Hygge,” a somewhat untranslatable word as far as we English speakers go – a word that does not have a direct single word translation in our language. A mystery, perhaps, why we never thought to have our own word for such an activity,… Continue reading Danish Hygge Vs Swedish Mysa

David, depression, Husband, memories, relationship, relationships, Uncategorized, Wyatt

I’ve Caught The Feels

The thing is, for many years, I built up my walls and buried emotions deep down... I'd remain calm and like a duck out of water, I'd let a whole lot of stuff roll off my back. Eventually my suppressed emotions would bubble over until I breathed fire if and when certain people stepped over… Continue reading I’ve Caught The Feels

depression, Husband, kids, relationships, Uncategorized, Wyatt

Sunday Night Blues; the second edition

I took my own advice yesterday and marched into my boss' office after my shift and informed her I would not be returning this morning. I had originally gave her a month's notice which would have had my last shift be this coming Monday... but I was convinced to stay on as casual after that… Continue reading Sunday Night Blues; the second edition

Best of, David, depression, Husband, Medical, memories, relationships, Wyatt

Happy Little Compartments

Compartmentalization: without realizing it; it's what I do. I divide my mind into happy little compartments. No... Not all of them are happy. The ones that are not happy... Well, I happily ignore. Well... I ignore them in any case. Self destructive behaviour I've had in the past, behaviour that I am ashamed of that… Continue reading Happy Little Compartments

Excerise, kids, relationships, Uncategorized

I will fight, for those who can not fight for themselves.

You guys - Geek Emma had some excitement yesterday in the form of... Squeeeeee.... The new Wonder Woman movie! To be honest I've never watched the old show with Lynda Carter and I haven't read most of her comics (though I do have an anthology of the war-time comics that I plan to sit and… Continue reading I will fight, for those who can not fight for themselves.