anxiety, Dane, David

Back in the Day

Last night I attended a divorce party for one of the nurses I work with. It was at a pub with good food, drinks, and a mixture of people I knew and/or recognize from work and people I didn't know. It was pleasant... but here's my problem. Something I realized last night... I have this… Continue reading Back in the Day

Adventures in Dating, anxiety, David, depression, memoir, memories, mother, relationships, Wyatt

Somatic Symptoms and Problematic Memories

I made a discovery while talking to my therapist yesterday. I suppose I just hadn't thought about it before as both topics are separate in my head for the most part. But yesterday, we as we were working on trauma response, as we transitioned from talking about specific memories of Wyatt to specific memories of… Continue reading Somatic Symptoms and Problematic Memories

anxiety, Best Friends, Dane, Maja, svea, Uncategorized

Being a Nothing-of-Consequence

My anxiety is rising. I was in a good mood earlier today, and I plan on feeling okay tomorrow... The thing is that as the holiday season starts, I am catching ripples of anxiety - like waves of salt hitting my face, suddenly so that I don't have time to close my mouth. I sputter… Continue reading Being a Nothing-of-Consequence

anxiety, David, memories, relationships, teenage years, Uncategorized, Wyatt

Freaking Frigid – A Memory

It came back to me today, a memory I'd like to say was vague - as I hadn't thought about it for a very long time. But it's not, not vague at all. I've been having these snippets pop up in my mind here and there, seemingly randomly over the past few weeks. I'm not… Continue reading Freaking Frigid – A Memory

anxiety, Dane, David, depression, relationships, Uncategorized, Wyatt

Take My Prazosin And Hope David Stays Out Of My Dreams

Honestly, I don't know if I have anything interesting to spew at the moment. I just felt like getting back to the root of my blog/writing career for a minute - I felt like writing without a purpose to see what would emerge. I hope to clarify my inner self, to figure out why I… Continue reading Take My Prazosin And Hope David Stays Out Of My Dreams

anxiety, David, relationships, Uncategorized, Wyatt

In Defense of…? Or Rather… …Billy Gave Me Anxiety

Stranger Things Spoilers Below. Proceed with caution 😉 I finally finished Stranger Things season 3 last night and it was so depressing. I'm not talking about Hopper's possible death - because the way it was handled I am relatively certain he will suddenly show back up and have a wild story as to how he… Continue reading In Defense of…? Or Rather… …Billy Gave Me Anxiety

anxiety, David, depression, Uncategorized, Wyatt

Fucking Around with Meds – the PTSD edition

"But Emma," I hear you say. "You are officially a nurse now, you should know better than to fuck around with your meds." I sigh, because I know you're right. I suppose 'fuck around' is a bit strong of a description though. Fact is, my self care has been lacking lately and part of that… Continue reading Fucking Around with Meds – the PTSD edition

anxiety, David, depression, Medical, Uncategorized

The Night Is Dark and Full of Terrors

Sorry for the delay in updating, my psych appointment was postponed a few weeks. I had my follow up just yesterday afternoon. I discussed with my doctor the fact that I've seen the article about David... with his accolades saying he recently was promoted to Major, he's getting his Masters in a few months, and… Continue reading The Night Is Dark and Full of Terrors

anxiety, David, depression, relationships, Uncategorized, Wyatt

At What Level is it Normal?

I have a follow up with my psychiatrist in a few days. She wants to check on how my meds are doing now that I am entering the annual timeframe that the worst of my PTSD usually takes effect. So what am I going to tell her? I keep thinking about it... do I still… Continue reading At What Level is it Normal?

anxiety, depression, Uncategorized

Heeeey… I’m Still Alive!

I've been so busy lately... I was hoping to write a proper blog post last weekend, while I was off of work - but I was away in Philadelphia for my sister's wedding, and my hopes for some downtime for writing did not come to fruition. I feel like I have so much to say,… Continue reading Heeeey… I’m Still Alive!

anxiety, Uncategorized

Minimizing my anxiety and PTSD Part 2

Yesterday I shared with you the two main exercises I am to try to assist in minimizing my anxiety and my PTSD. Those exercises, though can be done in the moment while having an anxiety or PTSD attack, were for more long term changes to my brain. Today, I am also going to share two… Continue reading Minimizing my anxiety and PTSD Part 2

anxiety, depression, Uncategorized

Minimizing my anxiety and PTSD

Oh geez, you guys, I apologize. I still need to write up more posts about the trip to Sweden I had in July... I had so many things I wanted to document, but I just haven't had the time. Hopefully one day soon... But I've been dealing with nursing school the past three weeks, as… Continue reading Minimizing my anxiety and PTSD

anxiety, David, depression, Husband, Uncategorized, Wyatt

Double Depression, Anxiety, and… Emma’s Mental Health Update

I've been working on my Sweden Trip posts... But also I got my manuscript back from my editor on Thursday before working Friday through Sunday... so It'll be a little bit before I get those promised posts out. However, I have another long-awaited post to give you now... So... Enjoy 🙂 **************** Yesterday, I went… Continue reading Double Depression, Anxiety, and… Emma’s Mental Health Update

anxiety, depression, Medical, Uncategorized

Psych Appointment and Update

I finally had my psych appointment yesterday. I was so tense and nervous all day, even after the appointment was over. Tension headache plagued me all day, I felt winded, and my tummy was upset most of the afternoon as well - primarily just before and through the appointment itself. I had about an hour… Continue reading Psych Appointment and Update

anxiety, depression, memories, relationships, Uncategorized, Wyatt

It’s Not Like The Random Bruise

You know that feeling... The one where your emotion - for lack of a better word - is stuck smack dab in the middle of your chest? It's unclear exactly what that emotion is; though it's persistent and hard not to notice. It's not like the random bruise or bleeding you find on yourself while… Continue reading It’s Not Like The Random Bruise

anxiety, depression, Medical, memories, Uncategorized

The Puzzle That is My Mental Health

I'm feeling a little bummed. A little unmotivated... It might be partially because my period is supposed to start tomorrow. It may be my kids being sick the past couple of days... or the random interactions or annoyances of the past few weeks that build up and push down on my mood. I dunno.... Or… Continue reading The Puzzle That is My Mental Health

anxiety, depression, Medical, Uncategorized

Wish Me Luck

I finally got a chance to see my doctor to talk to her about a possible anxiety diagnosis. The long story short is that she said it could very well just be anxiety mixed with depression, but my symptoms also lean towards the bipolar side of things. She said that treating bipolar is done with… Continue reading Wish Me Luck

anxiety, depression, Husband, relationships, Uncategorized, Wyatt

It Billowed Like a Storm Surge

It hit me dead on; a slap in the face and a punch in the gut simultaneously. I saw a picture of Wyatt and it initiated a wave of nausea that washed over me, no, rather it billowed like a storm surge. I can't explain why I felt the way I did. It doesn't always… Continue reading It Billowed Like a Storm Surge

anxiety, depression, Husband, support, Uncategorized

I Often Grind My Teeth At Night

I always thought of anxiety as panic attacks with heart palpitations, extreme feelings of fear or worry with a bit of hyperventilation mixed in. I think most people are under that impression. This is why I never considered myself to have anxiety. I have only had, from what I recall, one full blown panic attack… Continue reading I Often Grind My Teeth At Night

depression, Medical, memories, teenage years, Uncategorized

Nurturing the Neuroses

I didn't really think my childhood was odd. I didn't notice the behaviors any of us may have had that possibly weren't quite right if you really thought about it. Depression and anxiety run rampant through me and my siblings. We compartmentalize, we cry or get angry for no good reason at times... We have… Continue reading Nurturing the Neuroses