memoir, memories, teenage years, Uncategorized

To Save My Own Hide

"Okay, Mum, you can go now," I said flinging my hand out in the direction of my bedroom door. "I will," she said. "After I use the bathroom." She headed towards the bathroom situated in the far corner of my room. Shit. Federica and I had been tossing our cigarette butts in the toilet and… Continue reading To Save My Own Hide

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Best Friends, Dane, David, depression, relationships, Uncategorized

Smoldering Bridge

Dane unfriended me on Facebook. I told you that. He inferred I was disposable and it seemed he'd rather keep David in the FB friendship circle. Ok, fine then. I accepted that, though it hurt initially. The thing is, even after pushing me away so hard; trying his damnedest to put distance between us and… Continue reading Smoldering Bridge

anxiety, David, depression, relationships, Uncategorized, Wyatt

At What Level is it Normal?

I have a follow up with my psychiatrist in a few days. She wants to check on how my meds are doing now that I am entering the annual timeframe that the worst of my PTSD usually takes effect. So what am I going to tell her? I keep thinking about it... do I still… Continue reading At What Level is it Normal?

anxiety, Medical, memories, Uncategorized

Suddenly, My Vision Was Gone

There I was, lying back in the dentist's chair with a nasal mask resting on my face. My limbs were tingling and I was slowly getting sleepy. I thought to myself 'I don't think nitrous oxide is supposed to knock me out... is it?' I had never had it before, in all honesty. I didn't… Continue reading Suddenly, My Vision Was Gone

Posts With Off Site Links, Scandinavia, Uncategorized

Saucy Swede

Before school starts again this week... pending a gnarly snow storm that is headed our way... I thought I'd tell you about how my sister and her husband came to visit me! Woo! They were here for a week, and just left this Tuesday - just in time to have caught a stomach virus from… Continue reading Saucy Swede

anxiety, depression, Uncategorized

Take your Xanax, mothers, Emma is fine

Oh gosh, you guys, I hadn't realized it had been quite so long since I have written on here... Apologies for any of you that may have worried about me or what have you. Well, let's be honest, I'm sure most didn't notice - I take random long breaks fairly regularly - but imma gonna… Continue reading Take your Xanax, mothers, Emma is fine

books, memoir, Uncategorized

Writer’s Update

It's been awhile since I've let you all know the status of my rewrite for my first book... so here it is. Too be honest I decided to write this update because I basically needed to shift focus from my mess of a manuscript right now! Ah! I had my friend Klutzy go through the… Continue reading Writer’s Update

anxiety, Best Friends, Dane, David, depression, relationships, support, Uncategorized

Being Disposable

I've discovered something definitive about my friendship with Dane this week. Well, ex-friendship at this point. I have become disposable to him. I'm not sure when exactly it happened, sometime over the last two years since I moved back to the USA. Up until that point... the last time I had talked to him while… Continue reading Being Disposable

anxiety, depression, Uncategorized

Heeeey… I’m Still Alive!

I've been so busy lately... I was hoping to write a proper blog post last weekend, while I was off of work - but I was away in Philadelphia for my sister's wedding, and my hopes for some downtime for writing did not come to fruition. I feel like I have so much to say,… Continue reading Heeeey… I’m Still Alive!

memories, teenage years, Uncategorized, weight loss

When I thought I was fat

About two years ago, I wrote a guest post for a blog which at the time was called "When I thought I was fat," that bloggess has since changed the name of her site "When I thought I was nothing." I was reminded of the post after a conversation I had with my sister the… Continue reading When I thought I was fat

anxiety, Uncategorized

Minimizing my anxiety and PTSD Part 2

Yesterday I shared with you the two main exercises I am to try to assist in minimizing my anxiety and my PTSD. Those exercises, though can be done in the moment while having an anxiety or PTSD attack, were for more long term changes to my brain. Today, I am also going to share two… Continue reading Minimizing my anxiety and PTSD Part 2

anxiety, depression, Uncategorized

Minimizing my anxiety and PTSD

Oh geez, you guys, I apologize. I still need to write up more posts about the trip to Sweden I had in July... I had so many things I wanted to document, but I just haven't had the time. Hopefully one day soon... But I've been dealing with nursing school the past three weeks, as… Continue reading Minimizing my anxiety and PTSD

Best Friends, Husband, Maja, nostalgia, Scandinavia, svea, Uncategorized

Revisiting Sandhamn

Over the weekend of July 13-15, I FINALLY got to go back to my happy place - Sandhamn. Really the island itself is called Sandö, Sandhamn is the main harbor area on one side... But I digress. This time, instead of just me an Svea, we had a full house! Hubs and I met an… Continue reading Revisiting Sandhamn

anxiety, David, depression, Husband, Uncategorized, Wyatt

Double Depression, Anxiety, and… Emma’s Mental Health Update

I've been working on my Sweden Trip posts... But also I got my manuscript back from my editor on Thursday before working Friday through Sunday... so It'll be a little bit before I get those promised posts out. However, I have another long-awaited post to give you now... So... Enjoy 🙂 **************** Yesterday, I went… Continue reading Double Depression, Anxiety, and… Emma’s Mental Health Update

Husband, Scandinavia, Uncategorized

I’m Baaaaaaaaack! :D

Hey y'all, I'm back from the most awesome vacay (in Scandinavia) I ever had! Woo! I will be back with you presently... well, sometime within this week to picture dump, err, post some blog posts all about my trip. I'm not sure yet if I want to go all out travel blog for a bit… Continue reading I’m Baaaaaaaaack! 😀

anxiety, depression, Medical, Uncategorized

Psych Appointment and Update

I finally had my psych appointment yesterday. I was so tense and nervous all day, even after the appointment was over. Tension headache plagued me all day, I felt winded, and my tummy was upset most of the afternoon as well - primarily just before and through the appointment itself. I had about an hour… Continue reading Psych Appointment and Update

Excerise, travel, Uncategorized, weight loss

Back on Track

Gosh you guys, I've been in a funk as you know and totally went off the diet efforts for the past several weeks. Not always completely off... but... there were days I definitely craved donuts and/or cookie dough and gave in. It doesn't help that I'm an emotional eater, then in snowballs so even when… Continue reading Back on Track

anxiety, depression, Medical, memories, Uncategorized

The Puzzle That is My Mental Health

I'm feeling a little bummed. A little unmotivated... It might be partially because my period is supposed to start tomorrow. It may be my kids being sick the past couple of days... or the random interactions or annoyances of the past few weeks that build up and push down on my mood. I dunno.... Or… Continue reading The Puzzle That is My Mental Health

anxiety, depression, Medical, Uncategorized

Wish Me Luck

I finally got a chance to see my doctor to talk to her about a possible anxiety diagnosis. The long story short is that she said it could very well just be anxiety mixed with depression, but my symptoms also lean towards the bipolar side of things. She said that treating bipolar is done with… Continue reading Wish Me Luck

books, memoir, memories, Uncategorized

I Will Not Live In Vain

Ah, here we go again. I've put this aside for too long as I've worked on other projects, but I think I am now ready to pick up my original book ("I Will Not Live in Vain") and finish the 2nd edition that I started working on well over a year ago... Two years ago?… Continue reading I Will Not Live In Vain