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Corrections RN

I should be working on my 10 page research paper... The last big assignment before the end of this semester. That and less than a handful of discussion boards. Just Summer and Autumn semesters left to go to get my BSN. Woo. Feels like it's actually within reach. I am totally procrastinating on this paper… Continue reading Corrections RN

Dan, Dane, David, Husband, Jimmy, Sven, Viktor, Wyatt

I Was A Slut For Sleeping With Him

Write it down, I'm told. Anything you can remember, just write it down. The thing is you want me to remember, to recall events, to be able to tell you about them - but you fail to understand that these particulars, the particulars I am ashamed of, were not that important to me. Not in… Continue reading I Was A Slut For Sleeping With Him

anxiety, depression, Husband

Unpack All The Boxes

I am aware. I am aware of the fact that my actions and reactions in relationships can be categorized as bad, just as bad. Perhaps even worse. Considering I've had such actions used against me. Relationships that changed my entire view of how relationships work and how to, shall we say... survive them. Emotional manipulations,… Continue reading Unpack All The Boxes

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She’s Glorious

I splurged on a new laptop. You guys... she's glorious. She's an Asus Vivobook. It was just in time, too. I ordered her because I'm starting my BSN next semester, and I happened to make a butt tonne of money at my travel nursing job last week (three days of work and made more than… Continue reading She’s Glorious

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Two times in a month – you lucky dogs, you

Here I am again, for the second time in a month - wow! It's been awhile since that's happened LOL. No news yet on the transfer. I should find out this week if it's been approved. Otherwise I have emailed my current manager (we just got an interim one as the other one just moved… Continue reading Two times in a month – you lucky dogs, you

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Busy Busy Business

Hello lovelies, It's been too long again, I know. I was, as I believe you know, starting that new job earlier in the summer. So with that, and the extra training days I was naturally more busy. THEN we suddenly got the chance to rent a new house that actually has AIR CONDITIONING (OMG YAAASSS)… Continue reading Busy Busy Business

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Happy Birthday… I mean Blogday to me!

Oh geez, you guys (can you hear the increasingly midwestern accent encroaching in my vernacular? lol) It's my Blogaversary today! This blog is 5 years old. FIVE, count 'em… FIVE YEARS OLD! Where has all the time gone? My little baby has grown so much... and just think how much bigger it could have been… Continue reading Happy Birthday… I mean Blogday to me!

Best Friends, Dane, Uncategorized

Light at the End of The Tunnel

I've been ridiculously busy. I know, I know... That's been my excuse every time I leave y'all hanging. But I'm back, for a moment, while I waste my energy on laundry and not on my studies... Last semester and it's all a bit overwhelming to be honest, but I'm staying positive - because I can… Continue reading Light at the End of The Tunnel

anxiety, Best Friends, Dane, Maja, svea, Uncategorized

Being a Nothing-of-Consequence

My anxiety is rising. I was in a good mood earlier today, and I plan on feeling okay tomorrow... The thing is that as the holiday season starts, I am catching ripples of anxiety - like waves of salt hitting my face, suddenly so that I don't have time to close my mouth. I sputter… Continue reading Being a Nothing-of-Consequence

Best Friends, Dane, Uncategorized

Unfortunately Irritating

I had a post pop up yesterday in my Facebook memories from years ago... A post that one of Dane's exes had written to me, after she had moved on and married someone else that is. It was a generic catch-up conversation, in which she noted she hadn't really spoken to Dane in awhile -… Continue reading Unfortunately Irritating

anxiety, David, memories, relationships, teenage years, Uncategorized, Wyatt

Freaking Frigid – A Memory

It came back to me today, a memory I'd like to say was vague - as I hadn't thought about it for a very long time. But it's not, not vague at all. I've been having these snippets pop up in my mind here and there, seemingly randomly over the past few weeks. I'm not… Continue reading Freaking Frigid – A Memory

Uncategorized

I assure you that, yes, Emma is fine

Oh geez, it seems like, once again, I have been gone from WordPress much longer than I had realized. I guess 3 weeks really isn't all that bad in the history of my many random blogging sabbaticals. But I am here once again to assure you that, yes, Emma is fine. I know the last… Continue reading I assure you that, yes, Emma is fine

mother, Uncategorized

Overdramatic, Foundationless Accusations

You have no fucking clue right now. Well, if you have a mother like mine perhaps you do. I have reached the last straw with this woman. I dunno if I have the energy, honestly, to explain the whole thing right now. Suffice it to say my mum is a crazy narcissistic bitch who is… Continue reading Overdramatic, Foundationless Accusations

mother, Uncategorized

Monumental Clusterfuck

How do I even start today? I wanted to update you all on the awesome externship experience I've been having, but intertwined with that has been a trip to Cleveland to spread my grandfather's ashes. This, of course, meant I had to see my family. For the most part this wasn't an issue. Got to… Continue reading Monumental Clusterfuck

memoir, memories, teenage years, Uncategorized

To Save My Own Hide

"Okay, Mum, you can go now," I said flinging my hand out in the direction of my bedroom door. "I will," she said. "After I use the bathroom." She headed towards the bathroom situated in the far corner of my room. Shit. Federica and I had been tossing our cigarette butts in the toilet and… Continue reading To Save My Own Hide

Best Friends, Dane, David, depression, relationships, Uncategorized

Smoldering Bridge

Dane unfriended me on Facebook. I told you that. He inferred I was disposable and it seemed he'd rather keep David in the FB friendship circle. Ok, fine then. I accepted that, though it hurt initially. The thing is, even after pushing me away so hard; trying his damnedest to put distance between us and… Continue reading Smoldering Bridge

anxiety, David, depression, relationships, Uncategorized, Wyatt

At What Level is it Normal?

I have a follow up with my psychiatrist in a few days. She wants to check on how my meds are doing now that I am entering the annual timeframe that the worst of my PTSD usually takes effect. So what am I going to tell her? I keep thinking about it... do I still… Continue reading At What Level is it Normal?

anxiety, Medical, memories, Uncategorized

Suddenly, My Vision Was Gone

There I was, lying back in the dentist's chair with a nasal mask resting on my face. My limbs were tingling and I was slowly getting sleepy. I thought to myself 'I don't think nitrous oxide is supposed to knock me out... is it?' I had never had it before, in all honesty. I didn't… Continue reading Suddenly, My Vision Was Gone

Posts With Off Site Links, Scandinavia, Uncategorized

Saucy Swede

Before school starts again this week... pending a gnarly snow storm that is headed our way... I thought I'd tell you about how my sister and her husband came to visit me! Woo! They were here for a week, and just left this Tuesday - just in time to have caught a stomach virus from… Continue reading Saucy Swede

anxiety, depression, Uncategorized

Take your Xanax, mothers, Emma is fine

Oh gosh, you guys, I hadn't realized it had been quite so long since I have written on here... Apologies for any of you that may have worried about me or what have you. Well, let's be honest, I'm sure most didn't notice - I take random long breaks fairly regularly - but imma gonna… Continue reading Take your Xanax, mothers, Emma is fine