Best of, memories, relationships, support, Uncategorized

Reblogging Emma: Tell Your Stories (revamped)

Post #6 in my recycling series... only 2-3 more to go, I promise 😉 This one is from September 2015 and the content has been changed a fair bit (the second half deleted and replaced by different content) so it is not actually by rights the same post 🙂 My friend posted a quote on FB for… Continue reading Reblogging Emma: Tell Your Stories (revamped)

David, depression, Husband, Leroy, Uncategorized

No Longer Woefully Tattooless

I've been wanting a tattoo since I was 17. I've told you all this before. I was never the type to jump in for such a permanent addition to my body without being absolutely sure I would love it forever... So I gave myself time limits to think on ideas and if I had any… Continue reading No Longer Woefully Tattooless

David, depression, memoir, memories, Uncategorized

Bring on the Tacky Shit

"I dream he has his hand around my neck, his face close to mine with that determined gaze of his. I know he doesn’t ever think about me anymore. I know that these dreams are irrational, especially now that the likelihood of us ever being in the same city again is slim – that’s what… Continue reading Bring on the Tacky Shit

depression, Uncategorized

St Valentines vs St Patricks

Well, it's that time of year again... St Patrick's day?? WHAT?? I started seeing St Patrick's day stuff in Walmart last week... NOOOOOoooooooo! Then I saw this on my Facebook newsfeed today: ...Of which I would totally rock if it weren't clearly St Patrick's day related. Ugh. I used to love St Patrick's day. To… Continue reading St Valentines vs St Patricks

depression, Excerise, Uncategorized

The memory lingers on

I was walking through Target, minding my own business and noting that they had changed the organization of the store. AGAIN. Thinking to myself that they seem to do that more often than necessary and wondering if perhaps the manager just enjoys confusing his patrons. I passed by where the books used to be -… Continue reading The memory lingers on

depression, Uncategorized

Vollie-Dan got a tattoo!

  I just wanna say how proud I am of my boy, Vollie-Dan. He got this semi-colon tattoo while he is back up in Darwin for work. I told him it seemed very fitting for him; and it does. Continually, this boy amazes me. He is just growing so fast... *tear* I just want to… Continue reading Vollie-Dan got a tattoo!

Andre, Best Friends, Dan, Dane, David, Husband, Justin, memoir, memories, nostalgia, relationships, Sven, teenage years, Uncategorized, Viktor, Wyatt

Taylor Swift Gets Me : Reprise

While we’re on the topic of Taylor Swift, I went back and perused my posts from February 2015 – when I started this blog – and came across one of the first posts I had written that was also a I-have-a-girl-crush-on-Taylor kind of post. What I had done is compiled and mashed up several of… Continue reading Taylor Swift Gets Me : Reprise

depression, Excerise, Uncategorized

Work, Sleep, and Jiu Jitsu

I don't know how this happened. My blog used to be all memories, relationships, and themes regarding mostly domestic abuse and depression. Now... Fitness? Kickboxing? MMA? BJJ? Who the fuck would have thought? It's veering in a way I wouldn't have dreamed it would go when I started this blog. I mean... I am so… Continue reading Work, Sleep, and Jiu Jitsu

depression, Excerise, Uncategorized

Violently Sad

It's been a rough few days. On one hand, I just don't want to get out of bed, ever again. Screw it, it's like that on both hands. Sometimes I wonder about my choices that brought me here. Sometimes I wonder if I'm living the life I'm supposed to with the people I'm supposed to… Continue reading Violently Sad

depression, support, Uncategorized

St Patrick’s day, 2016

I've mentioned before my hatred for St Patrick's day and how I tend to get depressed this time of year, culminating on St Patrick's day. But this year feels different. First of all, I kept just... forgetting that's what today was. I also was in a pretty good mood - certainly didn't hurt my mood… Continue reading St Patrick’s day, 2016

depression, Uncategorized

Glorious Sleep

This week has been rough. I've mentioned before about my depression struggles Ive had over the years - with the last several having the struggle occur mostly between February - April with the eye of the storm being around St Patrick's day. This year is strange though. Previously it would be a depression and anxiety… Continue reading Glorious Sleep

David, depression, relationships, Uncategorized

Fettisdag, Mardi Gras…

Well, Fuck. I felt a brooding emotion start simmering over the past few days and I couldn't put my finger on why. Maybe it's just PMS... But no. Quick check your calendars: Fat Tuesday is set for just a couple of days after my birthday this year. Thus comes Lent, which will take us through… Continue reading Fettisdag, Mardi Gras…

Best of, depression, Uncategorized

22 a day – Happy Fucking New Years

**Trigger Warning: graphic content/Suicide Personally, i had a good New Years eve - the festivities were muted, but fun with friends around, a few drinks... it was nice. But not everyone had a good New Years... Besides the fact that there is a veteran suicide at the rate of approximately 22 a day, the suicide… Continue reading 22 a day – Happy Fucking New Years

depression, Uncategorized

Inside Out

For weeks and weeks I've been hearing about the kid's movie "Inside Out" and how it teaches children how to deal with their feelings.. I kept hearing it was good and just never got around to watching it until last night. Lord. It is so much more than just "dealing with feelings." This movie accurately… Continue reading Inside Out

depression

just want to be in bed

I'm feeling a bit better today, though not entirely. Not entirely violently sad. I'm functioning. I'm at a point that I almost feel like I could throw up. I wonder if eating would help, but then I don't want to eat. It's a day I wish I could just stay in bed - yet I… Continue reading just want to be in bed

depression

Goddamnit, I can’t.

I was in such a good mood earlier today - most of the day. Then this evening something happened and it all spiraled down. I've had my angry inhaling of a couple cigarettes. I've had my slamming of doors. I've had my tears. I curled up on the couch and watched "Short Term 12" and… Continue reading Goddamnit, I can’t.

depression, Leroy

Public Service Announcement

Do me a favor y’all. If you ever have a guy in your life injure themselves via punching a wall (or any other hard surface), please… please, do not call them “stupid” or any other such synonym. It may be tempting to laugh and call them a dumbass or an idiot because obviously punching brick… Continue reading Public Service Announcement

depression, Leroy

Are You Okay?

  There's a campaign in Australia that begs you to ask the question "R U OK?" Supposedly it's been around for a few years, but it has recently been pushed forward in the limelight on all media platforms because "R U OK? Day" is in September every year. The basic idea is that a conversation… Continue reading Are You Okay?

depression, Leroy, relationships, teenage years, youth

“I hit a brick wall.”

Okay, okay… only one more about Leroy… at least until another major development, I guess. I saw him last night, he came to help me clean out my volunteer office… my desk seems to be the main place people like to dump things when I am not around. Anyway, I digress. We got a chance… Continue reading “I hit a brick wall.”

depression, Leroy, relationships, teenage years, youth

Goddammit, Leroy.

I don’t know what to do. Also, I need another fake name. I’ve talked about this kid a couple of times before, but never assigned him a name on here (I don’t think.) Ima call him “Leroy” for now – after Eve 6’s “On the Roof Again” song I wrote about recently 🙂 This kid,… Continue reading Goddammit, Leroy.