David, memories, relationships, Uncategorized, Wyatt

Not When He’s Smiling

"He doesn't look abusive," she said when I showed her a picture of my ex. "No, I suppose he doesn't," I responded. Thinking to myself at least not when he's smiling... if he was screaming in her face, she wouldn't think that. It was always fun with him around, until it wasn't. He was always… Continue reading Not When He’s Smiling

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Best Friends, Dane, David, depression, memories, relationships, Uncategorized

A Twinge of Betrayal

Had a revelation today. A potentially awful revelation. Dane and David are back in contact, via Facebook, if nothing else. I don't know how long they've been in touch. As far as I can tell it'll have been less than a few months since they reconnected on FB... but I don't really know. I sent… Continue reading A Twinge of Betrayal

David, Husband, relationships, Uncategorized, Wyatt

My Idiosyncrasies

Get ready for a ramble fest y'all. Last night hubs said something that made me think... I have been blaming Wyatt for instilling a lot of negative relationship behaviours in me... and to an extent I think that's still true, but perhaps I've been bred to be ... How did he put it? ... I… Continue reading My Idiosyncrasies

David, depression, memories, Movies / TV / Netflix, relationships, Timmy, Uncategorized, Wyatt

Glad You Didn’t Die, I Guess

**Fair warning, it's a swearing kinda day** 51 weeks ago, exactly, I wrote about Valentines Day Vs St Patrick's day as a half assed effort to refocus myself from the Lenten/St Patrick's season that I usually become depressed in. This year, however, Valentines day legit starts the actual season of Lent. Ash Wednesday and St… Continue reading Glad You Didn’t Die, I Guess

David, Excerise, memories, relationships, Uncategorized

Far Away From My Corporeal Body

I had another dream about David on Christmas Eve. Unexpected, it's been several months if not longer since I've had one of those. I'm not sure if something actually triggered it, or if it was just my brain saying "hey,  guess what we haven't dreamt about in awhile?" Whenever I have these dreams, they always… Continue reading Far Away From My Corporeal Body

Best Friends, Dane, David, Husband, memories, relationships, Uncategorized

The Story of: A Full Force Whirlwind of Terrifying ClusterF**K

I summarized my dealings with David in one main sentence "A Full force whirlwind of terrifying clusterfuck," in my last post. Though I've written parts of the story here and there on the blog and my older readers pretty much know the details, I figured I would rehash the story a little in these last… Continue reading The Story of: A Full Force Whirlwind of Terrifying ClusterF**K

David, relationships, Uncategorized, Wyatt

God, just move on already, Emma!

I've been sitting here for an hour, one sentence written - since deleted. I've had this vague sense of what I would write about, but it's hard to express the swirling thoughts about it in my head. I've had the passing thought about the topic for a few days, and then today I stumbled upon… Continue reading God, just move on already, Emma!

relationships, support, Uncategorized

He Out Weighed Me by at Least 100 Lbs

Today, in honor of Domestic Violence Awareness Month, I am sharing an old friend's abuse story, these are her words as she shared them with me. Her identity is purposely withheld. People seem to think if someone abuses you then that must have been that way your whole relationship, when usually that’s not the case.… Continue reading He Out Weighed Me by at Least 100 Lbs

David, relationships, Uncategorized, Wyatt

It Ceases To Surprise Me

In honor of Domestic Violence Awareness Month, which starts this weekend, I did a poll on my facebook to gauge how many of my facebook friends had been assaulted or experienced domestic violence/abuse. The majority that answered were not cases I already knew about, so you'd think that would be surprising. Perhaps I have become… Continue reading It Ceases To Surprise Me

Adventures in Dating, David, Husband, Posts With Off Site Links, relationships, support, Uncategorized, Wyatt

Domestic Violence Awareness Month

Two days until October, and you know what that means! No, no... well... yes, Halloween; but that's not what I'm here to talk about this evening. It was brought to my attention today that here in America, October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. One of the other blogs I follow (When I Thought I was… Continue reading Domestic Violence Awareness Month

Best of, David, depression, Husband, Medical, memories, relationships, Wyatt

Happy Little Compartments

Compartmentalization: without realizing it; it's what I do. I divide my mind into happy little compartments. No... Not all of them are happy. The ones that are not happy... Well, I happily ignore. Well... I ignore them in any case. Self destructive behaviour I've had in the past, behaviour that I am ashamed of that… Continue reading Happy Little Compartments

Best of, memories, relationships, support, Uncategorized

Reblogging Emma: Tell Your Stories (revamped)

Post #6 in my recycling series... only 2-3 more to go, I promise 😉 This one is from September 2015 and the content has been changed a fair bit (the second half deleted and replaced by different content) so it is not actually by rights the same post 🙂 My friend posted a quote on FB for… Continue reading Reblogging Emma: Tell Your Stories (revamped)

David, Husband, relationships

My complex about the man…

I have been largely absent the last few days here on WordPress... not even my usual stalking of the reader pane that occurs most every day... one or two posts read only and certainly no writing to be had. I've wanted to desperately, but at the same time did not have the mental capacity nor… Continue reading My complex about the man…

David, depression, Husband, Leroy, Uncategorized

No Longer Woefully Tattooless

I've been wanting a tattoo since I was 17. I've told you all this before. I was never the type to jump in for such a permanent addition to my body without being absolutely sure I would love it forever... So I gave myself time limits to think on ideas and if I had any… Continue reading No Longer Woefully Tattooless

Adventures in Dating, Andre, Justin, Uncategorized

Hey Mum

I pulled into Zinger Coffee & Tea's drive through just as Bachelor Girl's song "Buses and Trains" started coming through my speakers. It had been a long time since I'd listened to that song. I liked it as a teen, but hadn't really thought much about the song as a whole. But as I grabbed… Continue reading Hey Mum

relationship, relationships, teenage years, Uncategorized, youth

Memes of the Relationship Persuasion

I've been working on this post for awhile. There was a knee jerk reaction to start this and then...  I lost motivation and started to put off my writing in general... But I am back. I am making myself sit and write this as I attempt to get back into the swing of things. I… Continue reading Memes of the Relationship Persuasion

Best Friends, memories, nostalgia, relationships, Uncategorized

Cycle of abuse and Maraschino Cherries

In keeping with the themes this week, I told a friend that I planned to write about another friend I lost touch with and hoped one day to find again just like Vlad. This girl; however, was much closer to me - a Best Friend. Before I sat to write this, I decided to do… Continue reading Cycle of abuse and Maraschino Cherries

Justin, memories, nostalgia, relationships, Uncategorized, Wyatt, youth

Scary eyes

Now - back to some more regular programming. LOL as in - not just a whole bunch of pictures. Back to old themes and old memories - or in this case memories forgotten. In my first Treasures post, I mentioned a journal entry in one of the journals I shared with Anneke. It was a… Continue reading Scary eyes

Adventures in Dating, Excerise, relationships, Uncategorized, Wyatt

Fuck, man (or “my feelings taste like donuts”)

...All around "fuck!" I'm feeling much better about the Wyatt issue from the past two posts... buuut... I've got two things to bitch about and then I promise, off of the downer posts again for a little while.  First, ok, get this: when I saw Wyatt has two facebook accounts the other day, I noticed… Continue reading Fuck, man (or “my feelings taste like donuts”)

Adventures in Dating, memories, relationships, Uncategorized, Wyatt

Not Ever Going To Leave

I've mentioned before that I have a keepsake from Wyatt that I have never been able to let go of, even in about 20 years. It is a small glass jug filled with purple glitter from the ren faire.... I never have mentioned, though, that the jug is not the only thing I still have.… Continue reading Not Ever Going To Leave