anxiety, depression, Medical, Uncategorized

Psych Appointment and Update

I finally had my psych appointment yesterday. I was so tense and nervous all day, even after the appointment was over. Tension headache plagued me all day, I felt winded, and my tummy was upset most of the afternoon as well - primarily just before and through the appointment itself. I had about an hour… Continue reading Psych Appointment and Update

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Adventures in Dating, memories, relationships, Uncategorized

OMG, Neil, How Could You Do Such A Thing?

It's been awhile since I've written about anything related to relationships and/or the memories thereof. So, I thought perhaps I'd bring up that topic again. I had a few ideas over the weekend, of particular memories to tell you all... but, alas, I was negligent in writing them down and I have since forgotten. Geez,… Continue reading OMG, Neil, How Could You Do Such A Thing?

anxiety, depression, Husband, memories, relationships, teenage years, Uncategorized

Passive Aggressive Shit

I feel like I've been somewhat emotionally fragile - or, perhaps, vulnerable is the correct word - as of late. In my post puzzling over my mental health I mentioned that my mom had said she found my medical records, including my diagnosis etc from when I was 15. (Please read the linked post to… Continue reading Passive Aggressive Shit

depression, memories, Uncategorized

The Day I Realized My Feelings Meant Nothing

I was reading one of those listicles that tell short stories/anecdotes that are all related somehow by the topic. You know the ones I mean - to be honest I read way too many through my Facebook feed.  Mostly just similar stories compiled from Reddit. (Unfortunately I searched in Google and couldn't find the exact… Continue reading The Day I Realized My Feelings Meant Nothing

anxiety, depression, Medical, memories, Uncategorized

The Puzzle That is My Mental Health

I'm feeling a little bummed. A little unmotivated... It might be partially because my period is supposed to start tomorrow. It may be my kids being sick the past couple of days... or the random interactions or annoyances of the past few weeks that build up and push down on my mood. I dunno.... Or… Continue reading The Puzzle That is My Mental Health

anxiety, depression, Medical, Uncategorized

Wish Me Luck

I finally got a chance to see my doctor to talk to her about a possible anxiety diagnosis. The long story short is that she said it could very well just be anxiety mixed with depression, but my symptoms also lean towards the bipolar side of things. She said that treating bipolar is done with… Continue reading Wish Me Luck

books, memoir, memories, Uncategorized

I Will Not Live In Vain

Ah, here we go again. I've put this aside for too long as I've worked on other projects, but I think I am now ready to pick up my original book ("I Will Not Live in Vain") and finish the 2nd edition that I started working on well over a year ago... Two years ago?… Continue reading I Will Not Live In Vain

anxiety, depression, Husband, relationships, Uncategorized, Wyatt

It Billowed Like a Storm Surge

It hit me dead on; a slap in the face and a punch in the gut simultaneously. I saw a picture of Wyatt and it initiated a wave of nausea that washed over me, no, rather it billowed like a storm surge. I can't explain why I felt the way I did. It doesn't always… Continue reading It Billowed Like a Storm Surge

anxiety, depression, Husband, support, Uncategorized

I Often Grind My Teeth At Night

I always thought of anxiety as panic attacks with heart palpitations, extreme feelings of fear or worry with a bit of hyperventilation mixed in. I think most people are under that impression. This is why I never considered myself to have anxiety. I have only had, from what I recall, one full blown panic attack… Continue reading I Often Grind My Teeth At Night

Excerise, Uncategorized, weight loss

It’s The Little Things

Just one quick weight loss update - an important note! Before I move on to writing other topics again for a bit. I have a couple ideas for new posts when I get around to it... But first I thought I'd let you know this tidbit: So, a few days ago I decided to put… Continue reading It’s The Little Things

Excerise, Uncategorized, weight loss

This Kind of Fuckery

I'm gonna talk about temptation today - the temptation to eat sweets and drink bubbling sugary caffeine goodness that is coursing through me right now. Also, the temptation to smack a ... well, you know. It actually, has been a lot easier than I thought to stay away from sweets for the couple of weeks… Continue reading This Kind of Fuckery

Husband, Uncategorized, weight loss

Green Tea FTW!

Did I say this wouldn't become a weight-loss blog? I may have lied... Because OMG you guys, I've got diet stuff to talk about again. Haha... I swear at some point I'll change topic again... Let's just consider this a "weight-loss series" in the meantime... Like I totally meant to do this. So last time… Continue reading Green Tea FTW!

Excerise, Posts With Off Site Links, Uncategorized, weight loss

It’s Day 3

Day 3. Okay, you guys. I promise this won't turn into a weight-loss blog, but I feel the need to get some stuff out there regarding this struggle I'm having. So once in awhile you'll have to deal with my complaining, er, updates, or pass a post by occasionally LOL. That being said. It's Day… Continue reading It’s Day 3

Best Friends, Husband, Maja, memories, svea, travel, Uncategorized

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

I stated at one point, in a very privileged manner, on my 'About Emma' page that "My blog contains some entries that have to do with my travels – but not much. This is not a travel blog. It’s probably because I have had my own fair share of travel, and though there are still… Continue reading Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Uncategorized

Yaay, Woot, Hurrah, etc etc

Whoops, I meant to sit and write this yesterday... but then... I didn't. Lol. I just wanted to point out, as WordPress so kindly did, that yesterday was the 3 year anniversary of this blog. My 3 year blogiversary, if you will. Yaay, woot, hurrah, etc etc I wasn't even sure if have much of… Continue reading Yaay, Woot, Hurrah, etc etc

David, memories, relationships, Uncategorized, Wyatt

Not When He’s Smiling

"He doesn't look abusive," she said when I showed her a picture of my ex. "No, I suppose he doesn't," I responded. Thinking to myself at least not when he's smiling... if he was screaming in her face, she wouldn't think that. It was always fun with him around, until it wasn't. He was always… Continue reading Not When He’s Smiling

Best Friends, Dane, David, depression, memories, relationships, Uncategorized

A Twinge of Betrayal

Had a revelation today. A potentially awful revelation. Dane and David are back in contact, via Facebook, if nothing else. I don't know how long they've been in touch. As far as I can tell it'll have been less than a few months since they reconnected on FB... but I don't really know. I sent… Continue reading A Twinge of Betrayal

Best Friends, Dane, Uncategorized

It was good to hear him laugh

Absence makes the heart grow fonder, I hope. Apologies that I've been MIA somewhat again. I started a new position in which I am training Full Time at a facility that's an hour away from my home at the moment. Will continue to do so for another two or three weeks before going to the… Continue reading It was good to hear him laugh

David, Husband, relationships, Uncategorized, Wyatt

My Idiosyncrasies

Get ready for a ramble fest y'all. Last night hubs said something that made me think... I have been blaming Wyatt for instilling a lot of negative relationship behaviours in me... and to an extent I think that's still true, but perhaps I've been bred to be ... How did he put it? ... I… Continue reading My Idiosyncrasies

David, depression, memories, Movies / TV / Netflix, relationships, Timmy, Uncategorized, Wyatt

Glad You Didn’t Die, I Guess

**Fair warning, it's a swearing kinda day** 51 weeks ago, exactly, I wrote about Valentines Day Vs St Patrick's day as a half assed effort to refocus myself from the Lenten/St Patrick's season that I usually become depressed in. This year, however, Valentines day legit starts the actual season of Lent. Ash Wednesday and St… Continue reading Glad You Didn’t Die, I Guess