Best Friends, Dane, David, depression, relationships, Uncategorized

Smoldering Bridge

Dane unfriended me on Facebook. I told you that. He inferred I was disposable and it seemed he'd rather keep David in the FB friendship circle. Ok, fine then. I accepted that, though it hurt initially. The thing is, even after pushing me away so hard; trying his damnedest to put distance between us and… Continue reading Smoldering Bridge

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anxiety, David, depression, Medical, Uncategorized

The Night Is Dark and Full of Terrors

Sorry for the delay in updating, my psych appointment was postponed a few weeks. I had my follow up just yesterday afternoon. I discussed with my doctor the fact that I've seen the article about David... with his accolades saying he recently was promoted to Major, he's getting his Masters in a few months, and… Continue reading The Night Is Dark and Full of Terrors

anxiety, David, depression, relationships, Uncategorized, Wyatt

At What Level is it Normal?

I have a follow up with my psychiatrist in a few days. She wants to check on how my meds are doing now that I am entering the annual timeframe that the worst of my PTSD usually takes effect. So what am I going to tell her? I keep thinking about it... do I still… Continue reading At What Level is it Normal?

anxiety, depression, Uncategorized

Take your Xanax, mothers, Emma is fine

Oh gosh, you guys, I hadn't realized it had been quite so long since I have written on here... Apologies for any of you that may have worried about me or what have you. Well, let's be honest, I'm sure most didn't notice - I take random long breaks fairly regularly - but imma gonna… Continue reading Take your Xanax, mothers, Emma is fine

anxiety, Best Friends, Dane, David, depression, relationships, support, Uncategorized

Being Disposable

I've discovered something definitive about my friendship with Dane this week. Well, ex-friendship at this point. I have become disposable to him. I'm not sure when exactly it happened, sometime over the last two years since I moved back to the USA. Up until that point... the last time I had talked to him while… Continue reading Being Disposable

anxiety, depression, Uncategorized

Heeeey… I’m Still Alive!

I've been so busy lately... I was hoping to write a proper blog post last weekend, while I was off of work - but I was away in Philadelphia for my sister's wedding, and my hopes for some downtime for writing did not come to fruition. I feel like I have so much to say,… Continue reading Heeeey… I’m Still Alive!

Best Friends, Husband, Maja, nostalgia, Scandinavia, svea, Uncategorized

Revisiting Sandhamn

Over the weekend of July 13-15, I FINALLY got to go back to my happy place - Sandhamn. Really the island itself is called Sandö, Sandhamn is the main harbor area on one side... But I digress. This time, instead of just me an Svea, we had a full house! Hubs and I met an… Continue reading Revisiting Sandhamn

anxiety, David, depression, Husband, Uncategorized, Wyatt

Double Depression, Anxiety, and… Emma’s Mental Health Update

I've been working on my Sweden Trip posts... But also I got my manuscript back from my editor on Thursday before working Friday through Sunday... so It'll be a little bit before I get those promised posts out. However, I have another long-awaited post to give you now... So... Enjoy 🙂 **************** Yesterday, I went… Continue reading Double Depression, Anxiety, and… Emma’s Mental Health Update

Husband, Scandinavia, Uncategorized

I’m Baaaaaaaaack! :D

Hey y'all, I'm back from the most awesome vacay (in Scandinavia) I ever had! Woo! I will be back with you presently... well, sometime within this week to picture dump, err, post some blog posts all about my trip. I'm not sure yet if I want to go all out travel blog for a bit… Continue reading I’m Baaaaaaaaack! 😀

anxiety, depression, Medical, Uncategorized

Psych Appointment and Update

I finally had my psych appointment yesterday. I was so tense and nervous all day, even after the appointment was over. Tension headache plagued me all day, I felt winded, and my tummy was upset most of the afternoon as well - primarily just before and through the appointment itself. I had about an hour… Continue reading Psych Appointment and Update

Excerise, travel, Uncategorized, weight loss

Back on Track

Gosh you guys, I've been in a funk as you know and totally went off the diet efforts for the past several weeks. Not always completely off... but... there were days I definitely craved donuts and/or cookie dough and gave in. It doesn't help that I'm an emotional eater, then in snowballs so even when… Continue reading Back on Track

Adventures in Dating, memories, relationships, Uncategorized

OMG, Neil, How Could You Do Such A Thing?

It's been awhile since I've written about anything related to relationships and/or the memories thereof. So, I thought perhaps I'd bring up that topic again. I had a few ideas over the weekend, of particular memories to tell you all... but, alas, I was negligent in writing them down and I have since forgotten. Geez,… Continue reading OMG, Neil, How Could You Do Such A Thing?

anxiety, depression, Husband, memories, relationships, teenage years, Uncategorized

Passive Aggressive Shit

I feel like I've been somewhat emotionally fragile - or, perhaps, vulnerable is the correct word - as of late. In my post puzzling over my mental health I mentioned that my mom had said she found my medical records, including my diagnosis etc from when I was 15. (Please read the linked post to… Continue reading Passive Aggressive Shit

depression, memories, Uncategorized

The Day I Realized My Feelings Meant Nothing

I was reading one of those listicles that tell short stories/anecdotes that are all related somehow by the topic. You know the ones I mean - to be honest I read way too many through my Facebook feed.  Mostly just similar stories compiled from Reddit. (Unfortunately I searched in Google and couldn't find the exact… Continue reading The Day I Realized My Feelings Meant Nothing

anxiety, depression, Medical, memories, Uncategorized

The Puzzle That is My Mental Health

I'm feeling a little bummed. A little unmotivated... It might be partially because my period is supposed to start tomorrow. It may be my kids being sick the past couple of days... or the random interactions or annoyances of the past few weeks that build up and push down on my mood. I dunno.... Or… Continue reading The Puzzle That is My Mental Health

anxiety, depression, Medical, Uncategorized

Wish Me Luck

I finally got a chance to see my doctor to talk to her about a possible anxiety diagnosis. The long story short is that she said it could very well just be anxiety mixed with depression, but my symptoms also lean towards the bipolar side of things. She said that treating bipolar is done with… Continue reading Wish Me Luck

books, memoir, memories, Uncategorized

I Will Not Live In Vain

Ah, here we go again. I've put this aside for too long as I've worked on other projects, but I think I am now ready to pick up my original book ("I Will Not Live in Vain") and finish the 2nd edition that I started working on well over a year ago... Two years ago?… Continue reading I Will Not Live In Vain

anxiety, depression, Husband, relationships, Uncategorized, Wyatt

It Billowed Like a Storm Surge

It hit me dead on; a slap in the face and a punch in the gut simultaneously. I saw a picture of Wyatt and it initiated a wave of nausea that washed over me, no, rather it billowed like a storm surge. I can't explain why I felt the way I did. It doesn't always… Continue reading It Billowed Like a Storm Surge

anxiety, depression, Husband, support, Uncategorized

I Often Grind My Teeth At Night

I always thought of anxiety as panic attacks with heart palpitations, extreme feelings of fear or worry with a bit of hyperventilation mixed in. I think most people are under that impression. This is why I never considered myself to have anxiety. I have only had, from what I recall, one full blown panic attack… Continue reading I Often Grind My Teeth At Night

Excerise, Uncategorized, weight loss

It’s The Little Things

Just one quick weight loss update - an important note! Before I move on to writing other topics again for a bit. I have a couple ideas for new posts when I get around to it... But first I thought I'd let you know this tidbit: So, a few days ago I decided to put… Continue reading It’s The Little Things