Oh Geez…

That’s right, I’m a mid-westerner now – so now I say things like “Oh Geez” and “Dontcha Know.”

Actually, I caught myself exclaiming “Oh GEEZ!” the first time I watched Fargo whilst in Australia and “Dontcha Know” somehow crept into my lexicon many years ago…. Albeit not as regularly. I’ll blame it on the lady from Wisconsin that watched my daughter as a baby and my BFF from Michigan. Though, to be fair, I don’t actually recall Dane ever saying those phrases haha.

All that being said… Oh Geez… I hurt.

I worked my first three shifts this week. The first day was HELL I tell you… in as far as how my body reacted to the physicality of it all. That day it dawned on me that I hadn’t worked the floor in over 4 years. My last job was strictly a desk job and the one before that, though in a similar field, was also mostly a desk job. Certainly didn’t have to be on my feet any more than I needed to be.

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My fitbit stats right after getting off of work on day one

My feet were on fire and my back ached like crazy at the end of day one. Day two was a bit better as I acclimated, but also wore gel inserts in my shoes and a back brace. My god I feel like I’m getting old… Day three, I felt even better afterwards. Slowly but surely getting used to 8 hours on my feet. So glad it’s not currently 12 hour shifts like I was otherwise used to previously!

Now I’m on day two of my four days off… and owwwieee… my knees… and …uugggh… everything hurts now that I’ve been sitting down again! I told myself that I would stay up and active while being off  – yet I lied to myself and now look what I did. LOL

Next week will be crazy with two days on, one day off, three days on… then another random shift later that next week I think… Then, thank goodness, I’ll be done with training and will go to my regular part time hours which will be every OTHER week for 4 days in a row. Those stretches I’m sure will be just as exhausting by the end… But hopefully I will have gotten myself much more accustomed to the activity and have ten days between to recover… Phew! (Suffice it to say I am soooooo glad right now with the decision to go back to work only on a part time basis and to choose the 4 day every fortnight position (they originally offered me the other opening that had more shifts, but then they told me about this one in case I wanted to make the choice.))

In any case, pray for me ya’ll… That I heal enough before returning next week LOL

Knickerbocker Glory

RIGHT ABOUT NOW; The Funk Soul Brother. Check it out now; The Funk Soul Brother. Right about now

Imagine if you will, a gorgeous but chubby raven haired white girl driving home hopped up on a toasted coconut latte, dancing behind the wheel… So graceful is she as she rocks her shoulders back and forth and wiggles her hips – still seated and with both hands on the wheel of course. She IS a mother after all; there has to be some sense of decorum and safety. Well, perhaps not decorum so much… but safety always!

Right about now, ’bout now, ’bout now, ’bout now

Surely the coffee and music on it’s own didn’t put her in such a bouncy mood? It must have contributed to her mood when her children were promptly ready for school this morning… But today is a day for laundry, not dancing silly woman! Yet as the music changes she is still bopping along towards home.

Vanilla Strawberry Knickerbocker glory. Vanilla Strawberry Knickerbocker glory. Vanilla Strawberry Knickerbocker glory. Vanilla Strawberry Knickerbocker glory…

‘Oooo, Ice cream…’ she thinks – only increasing her sense of hyperactivity. Man, she is gonna be SO productive today! Laundry and a blog post (or two) AT LEAST!

She pulls into the driveway, intending to promptly get out and get to her planned productivity. But wait… Now that’s she’s parked she can dance WITHOUT her hands on the wheel! ‘Just one more song won’t hurt nuthin’,’ she decides…

Put me in the hospital for nerves and then they had to commit me. You told them all I was crazy… They cut off my legs now I’m an amputee – God Damn you!

Yup, Today is gonna be a good day 🙂

*Artists: Fat Boy Slim, Fujiya & Miyagi, Harvey Danger

Tee hee heeeeeee

My husband came down to the living room where I was sitting, watching TV, to inform me he had a new story for my blog. I had free reign over the words that followed  to share with the masses.

He had just been taking a bath, trying to warm up after a long day out in the cold, rainy, outdoors. He thought about how I commented the other day that his sandy colored hair was soft. As such, he decided he’d try putting conditioner in it just to see if it would become even softer/silkier. It’s not something he usually does.

He picked up my new conditioner that is from Revlon’s new ColorSilk color protect line – for Black.

It was a blue color, which didn’t concern him as he used to use Selsun Blue… So it didn’t seem odd to him. The bottle said to leave it in for five minutes, so he ran it thoroughly through his very red beard and his sandy blond hair.

After a few minutes he noticed a black streak running down his face. He looked down at his beard and his beard was black!

He said he nearly shit himself as he quickly started rinsing it all out… scrubbing as he did so.  It didn’t come out immediately, so he scrubbed his head and face for 10 minutes and still his hair was darker than it should be. He got the majority of his true color back…. but his beard is still a darker red and his hair is still tinted a blue-black:

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AHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA…. I giggled to the point of tears again. He was telling me how silly I was the other day about how I still laugh to tears over scaring him over a year ago… I told him this may just make the laugh-to-tears-even-after-years list too… Hahaha!

He said the thing was that he checked the bottle and no where does it say it will color hair… Yet, the shampoo states clearly that it does not color hair… the conditioner did not say either way. So, I guess the moral of the story is… Don’t use the Revlon ColorSilk Color Protect hair shampoos/conditioners unless you actually have dyed your hair that color (or you want to enhance your natural color that matches the version you’ve bought.)

Also…. Bahahahahaaaaaa!

*PS I love him even though he has noted I tend to laugh only at his pain…. …. …

Birthday Twin, part 2

At the request of Colin and Klutzy, I have returned with the follow up story from yesterday’s post now that Jason (the Hubs) has agreed that there should be no issue sharing it since I hid identities.

So. You ready? 😉

While we had been living in New Orleans, at a certain point Jason and his coworkers all had to go live in Mississippi for 6 months (until the company then decided to move their project there indefinitely.) This was 12 years ago now.

During this time period of temporary assignment, I would stay in NOLA over the week for work and then travel to Mississippi (about an hour and a half to two hour drive) to spend the weekend with the hubs.

This time period is when the story of the heinous birthday twin woman took place.

Apparently, as Jason tells it, he had the sense that their marriage was not going well (even before the temporary move) because she treated her husband “much the same” as she had treated me. I take this to mean that she was likely a narcissist as well as a hoarder and whatever other negative personality traits she had. I can’t comment on if there were any reasons on his end that it may not have been going well – but he seemed to be a dejected, beat down sort of man when he was around her.

Jason said that while they rarely hung out while in Mississippi, he did understand that this guy dreaded the weekends in which he would return to NOLA to spend at home. It became a thing he only did because of the need to see his children; his wife being an unfortunate side effect.

At some point, the guy gave up and though he was supposed to go home one Friday evening, he did not show up at his house in NOLA. So on the Saturday evening, she drove her kids to Mississippi to confront him at his apartment… But he wasn’t there. I don’t know what she did in between… Where she stayed, but supposedly she (and the children) waited for him and by Monday morning he still hadn’t come back to his apartment.

Now, I know my first thought would have been “OMG Something must have happened to my husband!” Right? Who wouldn’t think that? Okay, possibly you think along the lines of cheating at some point… But after him not being at his apartment where you would otherwise expect him to show up when he wouldn’t expect you there… then… accident on the way to New Orleans? Should you call hospitals? MIA for three days!

Well, Monday morning Jason went out to his truck to leave for work. By the way – he usually started work between 6 and 6:30 AM… so it was very early. There was a car parked perpendicular to the back of his truck. He assumed it was someone parking briefly, because who in their right mind would park like that for more than a few minutes?

Well, he waited and waited, yet the car did not move. So he got out to ask the person in the car to get out of his way so he could get to work. This is when he recognised it was her and her two kids.

She hopped out of the car and got in his face screaming about her husband not being there and that he must be cheating on her. She made accusatory gestures such as poking him in the chest and accusations to the effect of Jason letting him step out on her or something.

He remained calm and told her that he was her husband’s supervisor, not his keeper. He told her to calm down and he had no idea where he had gone.

He got back in his truck and she got back in her car before starting to move forward. So Jason started to back out and she threw her car into reverse and stopped him again. Jason waited for about ten minutes, in the meantime he tried calling the guy to come take care of this shit so he could get to work – yet the guy did not answer.

Finally Jason got back out of his truck again and the woman flew into further rage, accusing Jason of calling to warn her husband she was there.

All the while, of course, her children were sobbing in the back seat.

Again, he remained calm and told her that no – he hadn’t answered, but he had called to have him come take care of his woman. He then told her if she did not leave immediately he would be next calling the police.

She then left, finally, all while pointing at him with a grimace on her face.

Once he got to work, he called the husband into his office and locked the door. he told him in no uncertain terms that it was against company policy to get involved in employee’s personal business, but it was his wife that had made it Jason’s business. He then said the guy could take the afternoon off to handle the situation – because if she brought it to the company again by involving him or anyone else in their marriage then it would negatively effect the guy’s career. (i.e security issues would affect his ability to be employed by the company.)

Jason said that was the last he spoke of it, until he told me the story a couple evenings ago. He was aware; however, that that afternoon they officially became separated and the guy started dating some police woman in that town for about three months… At some point he and the wife started marriage counseling and gave it another go around that three month mark.

After that, the few times Jason saw that woman, she shuffled her feet and refused to acknowledge or look at Jason. He wasn’t sure if she hated him or was just embarrassed by her previous behaviour.

Honey, you best have been embarrassed….

 

 

Birthday Twin, my ass

Hubs told me a story last night about a woman that I met when I lived in New Orleans – a truely heinous woman in my opinion; who happened to share my birth date.

The story he told me only served to solidify her as a bitch in my mind – it was a story that he had thought he mentioned to me at the time… But I know I would have remembered it if he had because it would have attached to the other few memories I had of her.

So I decided to tell you about her today. I suppose it makes me bitchy to do so so many years after the fact… but… Oh well.

My husband became friends with her husband so he arranged that we would all go out to dinner so I could meet the wife and possibly become couple-friends.

We went to a seafood place and it was a nice enough. That’s where we found that we had the same birthday. We chatted a little bit and I suggested we should hang out sometime. She seemed noncommittal, but agreeable. So for the next several weeks I told my husband to pass my cell phone number along to his friend to have him give it to her to give me a call whenever she was free. I bugged him a few times to remind the friend in case he had forgotten to pass it along when he got home. She never called so I changed tack and asked him to get her number for me.

I was actually trying… yet for some reason she wasn’t interested, so her husband didn’t give the phone number to mine. Ok then. That’s fine. I just wasted efforts for nothing – when all she had to do was say she didn’t care to be friends in the first place. I otherwise did not get overly bothered by it as we hadn’t actually started being friends yet.

Awhile later we moved into a new house, so hub’s friend came to help him move furniture into the house. He invited the wife and two kids over as well with the intention of grilling out for dinner and swimming in the pool. It was intended to be a nice occasion. What happened was: I said hello to her in which she only barely acknowledged. She then proceeded to allow her kids run wild through the house and harass my three small dogs. As soon as the moving was done (which of course she had nothing to do with), she insisted on going home because supposedly it was too close to the kid’s bedtime.

A few days later, husband came to ask me why I supposedly ignored her that day. He of course was not aware of what was actually happening since he was preoccupied with his task… But she had complained to her husband who passed it on to Hubs. What he was told that I was supposedly rude in the first encounter so she came over this time to “test” me and “give me a second chance” and that I had failed.

Wait.

What?

I flew of the handle and yelled about this heifer that DARED come into MY house to “TEST” me?! Not only that, but her version of a test was to allow her hellion children torture my dogs while she stood back with a sour look on her face… What in hell was she thinking?

ESPECIALLY when I was in fact the only one who reached out and put forth any effort at all in being friendly with her. UGH!

Hubs reminded me last night about how he walked into their house and it was like a hoarder’s house – due to her issues, not her husband’s. I remember him mentioning it, saying he refused to ever live like that… So I best not become a hoarder lol.

Now that’s I’ve let all that out, I’m not sure if I should be so bitchy as to now tell you about the story the hubs told me yesterday…. Though it did give me a sense of schadenfraude…. a gleeful, so gleeful, amusement at her misery and bad behavior…

It’s people like that that makes me not believe in astrological signs…. Birthday twin, my ass.

Long Awaited Update

Ok, so perhaps you all haven’t been long awaiting an update from me… But I have been waiting awhile to give you all a status update. No real reason for waiting except that I have been unmotivated for writing much lately. Every now and again I get a pang of wanting to sit down and write, but if I can’t do so immediately, the urge quickly fades. I want the motivation to come back in force – I have ideas to write out both here and on my fiction site… and especially my Zarah manuscript…

I unfortunately did not get as much written during my two week hiatus as I had hoped. I did at least get a fair bit of other stuff done around the house – a lot of productivity there – as well as focused a lot more on my relationship with the hubs and the kids… so the hiatus from blogging was not in vain. It really did free up more time than I realised I was spending on creating (hopefully interesting) posts for you guys!

Now I’m trying to get back into the swing of blogging, so bear with me please if it seems I am not on here as often for a little while. I need to strike a new balance with my time and work it back into my routine. Who knew two or three weeks would change my routine so much??

On that note, I might as well mention I had to delete the WordPress app from my phone. It had increased to taking up nearly 2.5 GB of my phone storage!! It ever increases as more posts and pictures are added to my site. It literally saves all the data to my freaking phone! No other app even reaches a total of 1 GB by itself! Double-U Tee Eff, WordPress?? My phone reached critical storage limits and could not take photos anymore or update. It was still in the red after clearing out photos, videos, and even deleting some other apps like WhatsApp…. So WordPress had to go unfortunately. The reason I’m telling you all this is that this now means I will have to try to remember to check WordPress notifications periodically on my laptop instead of them coming to my phone… so it may take me longer than usual to respond. But rest assured I will continue to respond 🙂

Ok, I feel like there was something else I was going to update you all on… but I can’t remember what it might have been now. Hmmm….

In other news, I of course told you about my new tattoo I got yesterday… It is still sore, especially when I move my arm around on that side… it’s difficult to reach myself for washing and applying the salve – so lucky hubs is around to help! LOL

Also, when I woke up this AM there was proof that my tattoo artist is no liar haha… He told me that the colours would bleed for a few days and would leave perfect imprints on clothes… check it out:

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My Jammies are badass!

Also, I wanted to say (but don’t think I did yesterday??) that though I had this tattoo booked for two months, it seemed fitting that this week would be the week I would get it (after the Stockholm attack) and that his eye would look somewhat sad… That’s how it struck me when I first saw it anyway. Don’t you agree?

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I’ll need to get a better pic now that the stencil lines are gone. I’ll wait till it’s all the way healed though, I think 🙂

Reblogging Rae: The Blogosphere

Ok! This is the last one I am posting for this recycling of blog posts series! Hopefully this means that I have had plenty of time to focus on my manuscript! New content to come next 🙂 Hope you enjoyed this trip down memory lane… There were so many others I could have chosen… But I veered towards the more upbeat ones in general. Feel free to go back through the archives sometime and read ALL the posts! (I need that Hyperbole and a Half meme to place here methinks… LOL) These will all show up in the Favorite Posts tab, but if you scroll back there are plenty more of what I consider my better work there as well. Anyway. This seemed fitting as a last one… So enjoy. This is from April 2015.

I scan through WordPress Reader and Freshly Pressed, looking at all sorts of blogs that have specific themes, real identities. I feel a slight guilt that I am not one of those mommy bloggers that write all about her children and her amazing views in the arena of child rearing. I really should be at that stage in my life, I ponder to myself. But I’m not. I have two beautiful kids and I love them very much… but I am not that awesome mum. All I can say is that I try and I love them… But I also want to keep my own identity, take it back and be more than just “mum.”

That’s why I wrote my memoir in the first place. Yes, it was for my kids to eventually read, but also for them to eventually realize I am “more than just mum.”

I scan through blogs and find some unequivocally humorous sites, some insightful intelligent sites – I wonder how anyone can write so much on one academic area such as Medieval  Literature and still find a way to make it interesting? There are blogs on so many topics and they have so many followers and I am just over here… in my own little corner of the internet, wondering what I am doing. Wondering if I could ever consider competing with other obviously more popular blogs. It makes me feel almost the teenager again, trying to join the conversation only to be talked over so I stop and quietly walk away while nobody realizes.

Screw that. I’m not a teenager anymore. I will stay over here in my little corner, talking even though nobody may care to listen. I will stick around trying to carve out my own little niche and tell my own story, because …well… I’ll damn well do as I please.