Rape Culture, or Why We’re Afraid of “Nice Guys”

I am reblogging this after all this time because I finally found the original article I mentioned regarding the Swedish “Nice Guy” complaining that in a particular woman’s eyes he was a potential rapist… I’d also like to note in my original post I misremembered his point and that he agrees it is a shame that we live in a patriarchal society that causes this Rape culture and the fear we women feel in places like the train station… Article is in Swedish, but if you have the desire to Google translate it – here it is: http://www.aftonbladet.se/nyheter/article22549602.ab

I Will Not Live in Vain

You who have been following me for a while will know I rarely make comment on current events in the media. I rarely write posts related to issues that are happening in the political or religious platforms – or anything that people would want to debate…

But there is a particular issue in the media currently that I feel maybe a blog like mine should at least comment on, if not relate a post to.

For new readers, I will catch you up on why the forthcoming post might be related to “a blog like mine” : I have been subject to abuse by a couple of men. I have had a boyfriend in the past that abused me in various ways, including sexually. I have had a ‘lover’ (for lack of a better word) that was threatening and domineering. I have also, a few times, written about other incidents…

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En Svensk Tiger

Today I made a trip back to Main Street  – because it was TATTOO DAY! Woo! I finally got the tattoo I have been planning for several months and had booked the appointment as of two months ago.

Big couple of days I guess, because I also bit the bullet and dyed all of my hair black last night! Eek! Luckily, it turned out well and hubs likes it… sooo… Phew! It was something I’ve wanted to try for quite awhile, but wasn’t sure I could pull it off.

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Anyway, so that happened and then I went to get my long awaited ink at Main Street Electric Tattoo co…

 

My appointment was for 12:30, but the actual inking didn’t start until about 1 since of course my artist, Ryan #2 (Ryan McClelland), had to have me approve the design and print it and stencil it etc etc

The process then took until about 3:30 with a short break about an hour in. Hubs stopped in after work to give me some moral support… because… owwiiiieeeeee. No, I didn’t cry, lol… But I did have to “Viking up.” (Klutzy told me to “Cowgirl up” when I mentioned it was ow… and given the material/person in question, obviously it had to be adjusted.)

At times it was really intense, but the majority of the time it was manageable…. so that was good. Phew… While I have discussed further (complimentary) tattoos with both Svea and hubs, I have no intention of getting any other tattoos nearly this big again.

Now for the main event – I know y’all want to see the inking itself and the final result, so here we go!

and after all of that… the final, awesome result was this:

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Don’t you just love it?? 😀

Check out their other social media sites – Main Street’s Instagram, Ryan #2’s Instagram (artist from today) , Ryan #1’s Instagram (artist who did my wrist), and their FB Page

Reblogging Rae: Word F**kery

Post #2 for my recycling of my content series. This one is from June 2015… It contains some additional content.

I don’t know if it’s the insomnia I’ve had over the past few days, or simply the fact that I’ve been looking at and listening to other languages a lot this weekend. I have been listening to my Swedish music and reading a book in Swedish… and I also decided to start learning Estonian, so I have started to do a bit with that. Listening to music, looking up language basics, etc. Maybe my issue is a mixture of both no sleep and the immersion back into more-than-usual foreign interaction… but I have been having the strangest sensation.

Yesterday, as I was sitting at my desk – more than once I heard people in the hall talking and I could swear they were speaking a foreign language. Foreign in the way that I couldn’t understand what they were saying, even though I knew they are Australian and obviously speaking English. Though I had no issue if someone actually walked into my office and spoke to me directly.

My brain is fucking with me.

I have had similar issues in the past where I will read English words, but sound them out as a Swede would and then get so confused because it obviously then doesn’t make sense. After a moment I realize I’m reading English it all makes sense again.

Luckily Svea agrees this type of stuff happens to her constantly. She is always forgetting what language she is speaking or what language her current book she is reading is in. Good to know I am not alone! I’m sure it is worse for her since she has need to flip back and forth more often.

I recall a time back in High School that Svea was chatting to me and suddenly said “Oh! Sorry! I was speaking Swedish!” I laughed and told her she had been doing it for the last 20 minutes… and if I hadn’t understood her I would have told her.

Maja likes to fuck with me sometimes by writing English words in Swedish phonetics – so that if you were to read it aloud it would be English, but with a very thick Swedish accent.

Honestly, it makes me laugh every time. But the very first time I read English in a Swedish accent, it was through an Elvis comic in the Stockholm Metro paper. I had no idea what I was reading and I was so confused. I thought I had better say it out loud because it must be slang spelling – as a lot of comics do – (usually they spell like “Mej” instead of “Mig” for example.) I then realized, not only was I speaking English – but I was speaking very rude English with a thick, thick Swedish accent. This made me laugh even more heartily than the actual joke.

kt89r7ttsujfsuixe6opsfavluba3xbxagztervq4a28jaroxs31csw2pjesh

(These images were missing from the original post… But I found the exact comics I am referring to! Woo! Translations at the bottom 😉 )

**“Vaj ju nävär ansär ven aj kall?” Maja writes to me. “Ju sac!” She adds. I comment on how it makes me giggle every time and she tells me “Aj lajk to spik inglish vit ju.”

It makes me giggle – but now I think perhaps Maja just might be responsible for the fuckery in my head.

Thanks for that, Maja. Thanks a lot.

~~~~~~~~

Elvis translations – (in parentheses means it is actual Swedish) the Italics are the Swedish-accented English

Elvis comic #1: Panel 1: (But WTF) Do you suffer of a small manhood? Order our cockenlarger today! (Fucking junk mail!) Panel 2: No Thankyou, Motherfuckers – I don’t need it

Elvis comic #2: Panel #1: (Who are you writing to?)(Responding to junk mail. I’ve been invited to try Viagra and penis enlarging pump.) Panel #2: (and?) (What do you mean “and”? It’s offensive! I hope they think my reply is too) Why are you writing me? My cock is bigger than your whole family!

** “Why you never answer when I call?” …”You suck!” … “I like to speak English with you.”

My Style

The other day I saw a blog post where the blogger showed off her apartment decorating style… (see her post here) I thought her stuff was pretty awesome and realized how much I enjoy checking out people’s decor…. So I thought I would take some pictures myself and share some of my fave things around the house with you all… Possibly there are some of you that would also be interested in such.

It has had to evolve a little over time as after I got married, my husband rebelled against a lot of my style… which used to contain a lot more fairies and brighter colors… I’ve slowly introduced some of that back into the house over the years… Just not to the extent I used to surround myself with Haha.

 

These are images from my bedroom … I love the look of the retro fan… though I am paranoid about the kids chopping their fingers off or something (I knew a kid in primary school that had that happen to him… so… real fear.) On my dresser you’ll see a few Swedish stained glass items… those are new, haven’t found a place for them… and last but not least is our quilt. Isn’t it awesome? Hubby cut all the fabric, designed it, and then we had a friend sew it together… I love how unique it is.

These images are from my living room and entry area… Obviously I like Swedish stuff… Gnomes, Dala Horses etc etc … I also love nice and vintage books. Only other thing I’ll note is the Svensk Tiger painting – did that myself; copied after a WWII propoganda poster from Sweden. (It’s a play on words – it indicated one should keep a “Swedish Silence.” Basically their version of “Loose Lips Sink Ships.”)

From the kids’ rooms… My daughter collects dream catchers.

Dining/kitchen area… More Swedish stuffs… and tea pots. I love tea pots… Buuut the favorite view in my kitchen is this:

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Haha, just kidding 😉

Anyway, this isn’t everything in my house that is probably worth showing… but there is a mess to deal with at the moment. Sooo… no. You don’t get to see that far into my home life, LOL… Hope you enjoyed the sneak peek regardless.

Pippi o Bamse; Teaching my Children Swedish

Ok, it’s time to get serious.

I have always said I would teach my children Swedish from a young age. At least passable elementary Swedish and then when they get older they would hopefully decide to continue their studies in it.

I have not taken it very seriously – by that I mean I have bought them Swedish children’s CDs and downloaded a couple kindle books for them and periodically taught them some words and short phrases… but not worked too hard at it. I also had Bamse cartoons and Pippi shows on my hard drive for them – which crashed and I no longer have :/

They do have an interest though, and now my family and I are planning on going to Sweden to visit sometime next year – yay! I get to stay with Maja for a part of that trip!

Now, while Maja’s daughter – who is my son’s age (5) – speaks perfect English, I want my kids to be able to converse in simple terms with her in Swedish as well as have an understanding of what is going on in their surroundings when we go.

I have been so slack about this… I started a bit when my daughter (7) was a baby – saying things to her babyself in Swedish, etc with full intent to keep going as she got older… but it was the easy route to revert to English stuff and the efforts petered out. Now my daughter can only say a few words here and there – and forgets them half the time anyway.

So now, I am going to make a plan to do/teach them Swedish stuff at least weekly. As such I have just gotten them a bunch of books… Well… a couple of these I had on my kindle previously… buuuut….

Along with a few other books we have at home (Pippi collection, Narnia Collection  Brothers Lionheart, Maja’s green things, and a couple other children’s books all in Swedish…) and on the kindle… do you think this is enough?? LOL

Anyway, wish me luck I can keep the determination and the patience… I already have a problem remembering to help my daughter with her English homework…

Word F***ery

I don’t know if it’s the insomnia i’ve had over the past few days, or simply the fact that I’ve been looking at and listening to other languages a lot this weekend. I have been listening to my Swedish music and reading a book in Swedish… and I also decided to start learning Estonian, so I have started to do a bit with that. Listening to music, looking up language basics, etc. Maybe my issue is a mixture of both no sleep and the immersion back into more-than-usual foreign interaction… but I have been having the strangest sensation.

Yesterday, as I was sitting at my desk – more than once I heard people in the hall talking and I could swear they were speaking a foreign language. Foreign in the way that I couldn’t understand what they were saying, even though I knew they are Australian and obviously speaking English. Though I had no issue if someone actually walked into my office and spoke to me directly.

My brain is fucking with me.

I have had similar issues in the past where I will read English words, but sound them out as a Swede would and then get so confused because it obviously then doesn’t make sense. After a moment I realize I’m reading English it all makes sense again.

Luckily Svea agrees this type of stuff happens to her constantly. She is always forgetting what language she is speaking or what language her current book she is reading is in. Good to know I am not alone! I’m sure it is worse for her since she has need to flip back and forth more often.

I recall a time back in High School that Svea was chatting to me and suddenly said “Oh! Sorry! I was speaking Swedish!” I laughed and told her she had been doing it for the last 20 minutes… and if I hadn’t understood her I would have told her.

Maja likes to fuck with me sometimes by writing English words in Swedish phonetics – so that if you were to read it aloud it would be English, but with a very thick Swedish accent.

Honestly, it makes me laugh every time. But the very first time I read English in a Swedish accent, it was through an Elvis comic in the Stockholm Metro paper. I had no idea what I was reading and I was so confused. I thought I had better say it out loud because it must be slang spelling – as a lot of comics do – (usually they spell like “Mej” instead of “Mig” for example.) I then realized, not only was I speaking English – but I was speaking very rude English with a thick, thick Swedish accent. This made me laugh even more heartily than the actual joke.

**“Vaj ju nävär ansär ven aj kall?” Maja writes to me. “Ju sac!” She adds. I comment on how it makes me giggle every time and she tells me “Aj lajk to spik inglish vit ju.”

It makes me giggle – but now I think perhaps Maja just might be responsible for the fuckery in my head.

Thanks for that, Maja.

** “Why you never answer when I call?” …”You suck!” … “I like to speak English with you.”

Svea Memory #1

**Back on topic for my BFF Memory posts 🙂 **

In 1998, Ethiopia and Eritrea went to war. Many of the diplomat kids and families were  shuttled out of the country within the year – with only essential personnel remaining behind. This meant that my dad stayed behind as me, my sisters, and my mum went back to the US at the end of 1998 to wait it out before we were due to move to Sweden in mid-1999.

Not all foreign nationals left – some missionaries and other corporate related families I knew stayed behind. Before I left I caught up with Svea and exchanged contact info – she was staying behind, but we had already discovered that we were both due to move to Stockholm at the same time. She gave me the address and phone number for the flat her family owned in Stockholm, another relevant family phone number… and a note in Swedish saying something about seeing me soon in Stockholm, endearingly calling me Tjockis amongst other things. I asked her what some of these words meant. I had started studying Swedish with a tutor, but had not come across some of this lingo yet. She told me I’d figure it out eventually. (Which I did – later finding the note while cleaning out my room one day after I had acclimated to Swedish better. The hefer called me “Chubby” when she wrote “Tjockis.” Probably a good thing I can’t really remember what else she had written!) I do recall her also writing a couple notes with phrases she said I needed to learn before I got to Sweden. The one that I always remembered was this: Använder kondom är som att äta godis med papper på.

I’ll just let you google translate that (link provided should take you straight to the translation.)

What good advice from one 15 year old to another!! Ha ha. But no seriously… youth readers… I do not condone that!!

Svea and I both arrived in Sweden within weeks of each other; luckily I got the chance to meet up with her before school started. I recall her showing me around Stockholm, we walked down around Sveavägen – a major road running through Stockholm proper. It was a beautiful sunny day – I don’t remember everything we did, but I remember walking along and two young men came running along behind us and one batted at my ponytail as he ran passed, turning and smiling running backwards for a few steps, looking at us as they overtook our pace. One of them shouted out some greeting that I no longer recall. “Wow,” I thought, “Swedish guys are cute.”

We ran into two Swedish sisters that we both knew from Ethiopia – just randomly saw them on the street. We chatted with them a bit – they were just in town for a holiday. (Turned out later their family would move back to Stockholm, and their younger brother ended up at our school the year that Svea and I were seniors.)

Then we went to McDonalds for lunch. Svea showed me how she mixes whole salt and pepper packets into her ketchup to dip her french fries in.

“That is so weird.” I scrunched up my face in disgust.

“No. It’s good. Seriously try it! You’re in Sweden now, you have to eat like this.”

“But doesn’t ketchup already have salt in?”

“Just try it,” she said almost exasperated.

So I did. It was actually pretty good (and I found that I ate it that way without even thinking about it after a while.) …Unlike a year or two later when she insisted I try blodpudding with lingonberry sauce.

So help me when Svea tried the “It’s Swedish; you have to!” on me.