anxiety, depression, Uncategorized

Heeeey… I’m Still Alive!

I've been so busy lately... I was hoping to write a proper blog post last weekend, while I was off of work - but I was away in Philadelphia for my sister's wedding, and my hopes for some downtime for writing did not come to fruition. I feel like I have so much to say,… Continue reading Heeeey… I’m Still Alive!

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anxiety, depression, Medical, memories, Uncategorized

The Puzzle That is My Mental Health

I'm feeling a little bummed. A little unmotivated... It might be partially because my period is supposed to start tomorrow. It may be my kids being sick the past couple of days... or the random interactions or annoyances of the past few weeks that build up and push down on my mood. I dunno.... Or… Continue reading The Puzzle That is My Mental Health

books, memoir, memories, Uncategorized

I Will Not Live In Vain

Ah, here we go again. I've put this aside for too long as I've worked on other projects, but I think I am now ready to pick up my original book ("I Will Not Live in Vain") and finish the 2nd edition that I started working on well over a year ago... Two years ago?… Continue reading I Will Not Live In Vain

anxiety, depression, Husband, relationships, Uncategorized, Wyatt

It Billowed Like a Storm Surge

It hit me dead on; a slap in the face and a punch in the gut simultaneously. I saw a picture of Wyatt and it initiated a wave of nausea that washed over me, no, rather it billowed like a storm surge. I can't explain why I felt the way I did. It doesn't always… Continue reading It Billowed Like a Storm Surge

anxiety, depression, Husband, support, Uncategorized

I Often Grind My Teeth At Night

I always thought of anxiety as panic attacks with heart palpitations, extreme feelings of fear or worry with a bit of hyperventilation mixed in. I think most people are under that impression. This is why I never considered myself to have anxiety. I have only had, from what I recall, one full blown panic attack… Continue reading I Often Grind My Teeth At Night

Excerise, Uncategorized, weight loss

This Kind of Fuckery

I'm gonna talk about temptation today - the temptation to eat sweets and drink bubbling sugary caffeine goodness that is coursing through me right now. Also, the temptation to smack a ... well, you know. It actually, has been a lot easier than I thought to stay away from sweets for the couple of weeks… Continue reading This Kind of Fuckery

Excerise, Posts With Off Site Links, Uncategorized, weight loss

It’s Day 3

Day 3. Okay, you guys. I promise this won't turn into a weight-loss blog, but I feel the need to get some stuff out there regarding this struggle I'm having. So once in awhile you'll have to deal with my complaining, er, updates, or pass a post by occasionally LOL. That being said. It's Day… Continue reading It’s Day 3

Excerise, Husband, kids, memories, Uncategorized

Orange Eating Paraphernalia

Eight Years ago or so I was a skinny minnie. Hell, you've seen my teenager pics... I was so much closer to my teen weight right after having my daughter. I was a size 14 immediately after having pushed her out whereas I had been a size 16-18 at the time of her conception. Teenage… Continue reading Orange Eating Paraphernalia

Best Friends, Husband, Medical, Uncategorized

Badass Flight Nurse, Viking, or Whatever

As I sit on this old couch, in front of a fire that is dying despite my best efforts to build the biggest, warmest fire ever, and as I sip my hot chocolate in an effort to stay warmer still... My heater died a couple of days ago, the day before a snow storm here… Continue reading Badass Flight Nurse, Viking, or Whatever

Uncategorized

Yaay, Woot, Hurrah, etc etc

Whoops, I meant to sit and write this yesterday... but then... I didn't. Lol. I just wanted to point out, as WordPress so kindly did, that yesterday was the 3 year anniversary of this blog. My 3 year blogiversary, if you will. Yaay, woot, hurrah, etc etc I wasn't even sure if have much of… Continue reading Yaay, Woot, Hurrah, etc etc

David, Husband, relationships, Uncategorized, Wyatt

My Idiosyncrasies

Get ready for a ramble fest y'all. Last night hubs said something that made me think... I have been blaming Wyatt for instilling a lot of negative relationship behaviours in me... and to an extent I think that's still true, but perhaps I've been bred to be ... How did he put it? ... I… Continue reading My Idiosyncrasies

books, memoir, Uncategorized

A Shred of Support

I'm getting to the point in this blog that I'm not so sure what I have or have not talked about here anymore. I was talking to my sister late a few nights ago and said "Clearly this will be my next blog topic," but when I started to think about it I realized that...… Continue reading A Shred of Support

Uncategorized

Obligatory New Year’s Post

Oh geez, it's past 11 PM on New Year's day and I still haven't written my obligatory New Year's post... How are you all supposed to know what my resolutions are, or how great or terrible 2017 was, or what my sights for 2018 are if I don't write a blog post about it?! First… Continue reading Obligatory New Year’s Post

David, Excerise, memories, relationships, Uncategorized

Far Away From My Corporeal Body

I had another dream about David on Christmas Eve. Unexpected, it's been several months if not longer since I've had one of those. I'm not sure if something actually triggered it, or if it was just my brain saying "hey,  guess what we haven't dreamt about in awhile?" Whenever I have these dreams, they always… Continue reading Far Away From My Corporeal Body

Adventures in Dating, Best Friends, Dan, Dane, Husband, relationships, Uncategorized, Wyatt

Maybe There’s Hope for Me Yet

What makes him love me? What made the others not really care about me? Sometimes I think I'm pretty good at reading people, situations, and relationships... When I pay attention that is. At least I used to think that. Over the past year or so, maybe it's been brewing longer... I've realized I often don't… Continue reading Maybe There’s Hope for Me Yet

Best Friends, Dane, depression, relationships, Uncategorized

Until then… Bye Dane.

I let a friendship go today. Not just any friendship, a best-friendship. Something I've been mulling over for a while now, and while I was sitting in church this morning; likely listening to a very similar sermon to what he'd be listening to, I knew I just needed to rip the bandage off and get… Continue reading Until then… Bye Dane.

depression, support, Uncategorized

I’ll be praying for you

Ugh, I feel like an ass. I've railed before against using common platitudes with people who are struggling - with depression or other personal problems. Yet, today... Faced with a friend who was struggling and crying... I didn't know what else to say, so I said "I'll be praying for you." I became the very person… Continue reading I’ll be praying for you

Best Friends, Dane, David, Husband, memories, relationships, Uncategorized

The Story of: A Full Force Whirlwind of Terrifying ClusterF**K

I summarized my dealings with David in one main sentence "A Full force whirlwind of terrifying clusterfuck," in my last post. Though I've written parts of the story here and there on the blog and my older readers pretty much know the details, I figured I would rehash the story a little in these last… Continue reading The Story of: A Full Force Whirlwind of Terrifying ClusterF**K

Uncategorized

Things to do besides sleep and veg

Where to start? I feel busy AF right now... I suppose if you consider the laying around in my recliner and sleeping in I've done the past few days I technically can't say I ACTUALLY AM busy... but ya know... Whatevs. Regardless, a fair bit has been going on - leading again to my inconsistent… Continue reading Things to do besides sleep and veg

Uncategorized

Vila i Frid, Grandpa

My grandpa died this past week. Yup, that's what's up with me. He passed in the early hours on Tuesday, Oct 5th. I was notified the evening before that the hospice personnel was of the opinion that he was actively dying, so it wasn't a shock when my mum called me at 2 or so… Continue reading Vila i Frid, Grandpa